The buses pulled into Camp Jericho and students spilled out across the lot, dragging luggage in every direction.
"Okay." Enid grabbed Ethan's arm the moment her feet hit the ground.
"We are setting up our tent, we are getting the spot by the fire, and for two days there are zero murder investigations, zero demons, and zero ugly things. Just camp. Normal camp."
This was the youth experience. She was having it.
"Girls and boys in separate tents."
Weems was already standing between the buses like she'd anticipated this exact moment. "Nothing is happening on my watch. Separate tents. That means everyone."
She looked at Ethan when she said everyone.
"Do you think that will stop him?" Wednesday said, from somewhere to the left. "It's like putting a wall in front of a tsunami and hoping it holds—both are decorative, and both are pointless."
Weems turned to look at her.
"Even so," she said. "Not on my watch."
Wednesday looked at her for a moment.
"Is it because you're single," she said, "and can't bear to watch other people's happiness. So you've decided to distribute your misery evenly. I understand the impulse. I simply find it transparent."
Enid stared very hard at the ground.
Ethan looked at the treeline.
Neither of them laughed because laughing would have made it worse and they both knew it. Wednesday had a specific way of saying true things that made the air go out of a conversation entirely, and the only correct response was to wait it out in silence.
Weems looked at Wednesday for a long moment.
"Separate tents," she said, and walked away.
"So," Selene said. "Separate tents or combined?"
Wednesday, Enid and Selene all looked at Ethan.
He looked back at them.
"Combined," he said. "Do they really think a social rule is going to stop me? I already ignore every rule in the academy and that's a building with walls and staff. This is woods. There are no rules in woods." He picked up his bag.
"So yes. Combined. I'm staying with all of you."
"Then go set up the tent," Wednesday said.
"I believe all members of a group are equal," Ethan said. "So we should all contribute equally to the setup."
Wednesday looked at him.
"Anyone who says everyone is equal is an idiot," she said.
"There is no equality in anything. Some people are more capable, some are less, and pretending otherwise doesn't change the outcome — it just slows it down." She picked up her bag. "You're the most capable one here. Go set up the tent."
Ethan opened his mouth.
"That was a compliment," Wednesday added. "Don't make it weird."
He went and set up the tent at a corner of the camp, away from the main cluster. He unpacked the bag and looked at what came out.
As expected. The massive tent he'd ordered. Which in hindsight meant a massive pain to actually build. He picked up the manual, flipped through it once, and set it back down.
He had no experience with this. At all. This was his first time camping and nobody had mentioned that the tent didn't assemble itself.
"Hm."
"So you and Enid are still together?"
Ethan looked sideways.
Eugene. Standing there with his hands in his pockets, looking considerably slimmer than last year, which was the first thing Ethan noticed.
"You hoping for a breakup, Eugene?" Ethan said. "Because if that ever happens I'm going to blame you specifically and beat you up on principle. Just so you know going in."
Eugene stared at him. "Can you not be violent for like five minutes."
"This is my peaceful mode. You want to see what serious looks like I can show you that instead. I start burying people."
"I — no. I have my own tent to set up." Eugene took a step back. "Good to see you."
"Is it?"
Eugene left.
Ethan looked at the manual for another few seconds. Then he snapped his fingers.
The tent began assembling itself — poles sliding into place, fabric pulling taut, pegs driving into the ground one by one — and he sat down on a nearby tree stump and watched it finish without touching anything.
That was significantly easier.
***
On the other side of camp, Wednesday had stopped walking.
Her mother was getting out of a car.
"Mother." Wednesday looked at her. "Haunting me at the academy apparently wasn't enough. So you followed me to the woods." She tilted her head slightly. "I wasn't aware parent supervision extended to camping trips. I'm certain you have no actual business here."
Morticia straightened up and looked at her daughter with the specific expression she reserved for conversations that were going to happen whether Wednesday wanted them to or not.
"I'm a chaperone," she said simply.
Wednesday stared at her.
"You volunteered."
"I did."
"Why."
"Because it's not every day I get to spend time with my daughter," Morticia said. "And I want to see how things are progressing with Ethan."
She also wanted to keep an eye on Wednesday's psychic visions, but she kept that part to herself.
"So that's your actual reason," Wednesday said. "Then be careful what you wish for."
Because if her mother wanted to observe Ethan's relationship situation firsthand — the full picture, all three women, the complete arrangement — she was going to get considerably more than she came for.
Wednesday gave it about four hours before Morticia deeply regretted volunteering as chaperone.
She almost looked forward to it.
"This should be educational for you," Wednesday said, and walked away.
Morticia watched her go with the calm expression of a woman who had raised Wednesday Addams for sixteen years.
***
A/N: And on Patreon, The Boys arc started.
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