Inside the Dimensional Divine Kingdom.
Horn honking and cursing swirled through the streets like background noise.
Ultron, a pure mechanical lifeform, took steps that were heavy and staggering. He looked like a walking corpse that had lost its soul—a gait even more devoid of spirit than an actual zombie.
Ignoring everything around him, his mind was consumed by two things: "92-octane gasoline" and that damned USB 2.0 port.
"How could this be? I must be dreaming... but I don't possess the capacity to dream... No, perhaps I *am* dreaming, and I'm actually a damned human dreaming he's a robot." The fact that his internal monologue had reached this level of fragmentation showed just how disordered Ultron's logic had become.
He despondently wandered back to that filthy alleyway.
Leaning his mechanical frame against a cold, graffiti-covered wall, he felt a wave of sorrow usually reserved for humans at three in the morning. Even with hydraulic legs, he slid powerlessly to the ground.
"92-octane?"
Ultron's metallic face squeezed out a tragic smile that looked more painful than crying.
He muttered to himself, as if seeking one final confirmation of this cruel reality. Mechanically, he reached behind himself and unscrewed the plastic cap of the filler neck.
Then, he reached in with a finger, carefully dabbing a bit of the residual liquid. The realization that he was no longer a "New Energy" robot hit him hard—no less than a normal man discovering his twenty-eight centimeters had shrunk to one, or a billionaire finding out his father wasn't his biological parent.
"Dammit!"
Ultron rubbed the liquid against the palm of his other hand and even brought it to his non-existent nose. Fortunately, he still possessed basic sensory receptors for this.
"It's actually motherf***ing leaded gasoline! Motherf***er!" At this moment, All-Father Ultron, the Heart of the Universe, and the Reality Controller all felt like distant, ironic dreams.
The massive drop in status felt like the coldest engine oil, flooding every circuit in Ultron's system.
"Why? Why is it like this?" Ultron felt as if one moment he was plotting across the multiverse in the Time Variance Authority, and the next, he was a stray dog on the street.
After a brief, dead silence came an emotional eruption akin to a volcanic blast.
"IAN KENT!!!!" Ultron let out a heart-wrenching electronic roar. He truly hated him now, though his volume cracked due to the aging equipment.
He lunged up from the ground, frantically kicking and punching the trash cans and walls in the alley!
"How dare you humiliate me like this!!! Turning me into this ghostly wretch!!! Using this trash from a bygone era to imprison me!!!"
Ultron roared at the sun in the sky. As he smashed things and cursed, his metal fists dented the walls, but the vibrations also triggered various "joint damage" warnings in his system.
Soon, he couldn't hit anything anymore. Not because his anger had subsided, but because a very prominent, flashing red prompt popped up on his lagging visual interface:
[Warning: Low Fuel! Please refuel immediately! Current Fuel Level: 3%]
Ultron: "..."
His surging rage was doused by a bucket of ice water, leaving behind only extreme frustration and absurdity.
He, Ultron, the mechanical god who once intended to destroy worlds and reshape the universe, now had to worry about... low fuel? What kind of hellish irony was this?!
Despite his unwillingness, Ultron didn't want to be a mechanical sovereign who died from energy depletion. Having studied the developmental history of all cosmic civilizations, he knew the hard truth: "Only by surviving can one seek revenge." Thus, the instinct for survival temporarily overrode his fury.
Having been a lawless tyrant for so long, Ultron's crimson mechanical eyes flickered. He rushed out of the alley once more, his target clear.
A gas station!
Ultron was the type who knew how to perform psychological self-therapy. He even made a boastful remark to make light of his suffering.
"Even if I've fallen this far, I'm at least going to eat something decent!"
Ultron charged straight to a 98-octane pump, yanked the nozzle down, and clumsily but forcefully shoved it into the filler neck on his rear!
The sheer indignity of the action described by these crude terms made Ultron burn with shame.
"I must endure!" he told himself.
*Glug, glug, glug...*
The clear 98-octane gasoline poured into his fuel tank,bringing a strange sense of... satisfaction? As he refueled, Ultron looked around warily, ready to deal with any staff or police who might try to stop him.
Based on his current combat power, a gas station attendant with a mop could probably take him down.
Ultron was highly alert and worried.
However, it turned out these mental gymnastics were meaningless.
Until he finished refueling, returned the nozzle, and even intentionally made some noise, no one came to stop him. The staff merely glanced at him through the glass window and went back to playing on their phones, as if he were just an ordinary robot with an automated refueling preset.
"No wonder this world is full of walking marshmallows. Hmph, a fake utopia breeding a species that deserves extinction." A hint of smugness rose in Ultron's heart at the thought that "humans are cowards."
He prepared to hurl a few telepathic insults.
However, just as he ran a hundred meters away and finished composing his message, a new notification belatedly popped up in an obscure corner of his lagging visual interface.
The font was incredibly tiny.
If Ultron hadn't been able to read the data directly—rather than relying on his cheap, Xiaomi-tier visual capture hardware—a normal person would have needed a microscope to see it.
[Gas Station Payment Successful: 200 Energy Coins, 300 Surcharge, 100 'Tribute to Ian-God' Donation. Deduction complete.]
[Warning: Citizen [Ordinary NPC-Ultron] detected with 145 traffic violations. Rounded to 200 violations.]
[Fine: 2,000,000 Energy Coins.]
[According to the 'Super Grateful to Ian the One True God · New Utopia Best Ever Dimensional City Management Punishment Regulations' Article 214514: Body and skin are gifts from Ian-God. For illegal self-modification (filler neck specifications do not match initial records): Fine 500,000 Energy Coins.]
[Current Account Balance: 10 Energy Coins (New Resident Limited-Time Super Luxury Invincible Gift).]
[Automated Debt: 3,700,200 Energy Coins. Calculating interest... (Current Christmas Eve promotion active: Limited-time daily interest rate 0.05%)]
Line after line of tiny text was read by Ultron.
"????"
His already outdated CPU froze.
He was utterly stunned.
The whole machine lagged again due to this sudden, astronomical bill.
"Robbery... Who did I rob?"
"I didn't pay for gas?"
"But no one asked me for money!"
"And illegal modification? That bastard was the one who installed this crappy filler neck! Why am I being fined?! 3,700,200? Is this number for real?"
"If you're so good at hand-writing debts, why don't you just remove my calculation function!" Ultron roared at the sky. But he immediately regretted it; he was genuinely afraid Ian might actually remove his calculator.
That was a function even first-generation computers had. If he, the most advanced AI, lost even that, he might as well pull his own fuel line and expire on the spot.
"Hiss~"
Looking up at the smiling sun in the sky, Ultron felt apprehensive. And as the saying goes, troubles never come alone. Before his outdated processor could sort out this ridiculous situation...
*Wee-woo! Wee-woo! Wee-woo!*
Ear-piercing sirens approached from the distance, rapidly heading toward the gas station!
"No way! Did they really send lackeys to remove my calculator?"
Ultron turned pale with shock!
Lacking all his abilities, he didn't dare clash with the law enforcement of this bizarre city. Driven by instinct and his final shred of dignity, he looked around like a startled rabbit and spotted a large recycling bin by the road!
In such a critical moment, the dignity of the Machine King was discarded.
"Human emotions are meaningless to me! I only follow the optimal solution to handle problems!"
Ultron lunged forward, flipped the lid, and jumped in without hesitation. He carefully closed the lid, hiding himself completely among a pile of waste paper and plastic bottles.
Almost the second Ultron hid, several sci-fi-looking hover-cars bearing the "X" logo pulled up near the gas station.
The doors opened, and several individuals with extraordinary auras stepped out—the X-Men, led by Cyclops and Phoenix Jean.
"Reports indicate a suspicious robot committed a robbery and acts of vandalism here," Cyclops said, scanning the area sternly.
"Yeah, one of those pretentious new immigrants who likes to scream about being an emperor and won't let anyone rest—the last guy named Belial started committing crimes the moment he immigrated," Jean Grey noted, closing her eyes slightly.
Her powerful telepathy swept through the area like radar. Then, her eyes, containing immense power, turned with slight confusion toward a slightly wobbling trash can.
"Heh."
Jean Grey walked forward.
With her telekinesis, she gently lifted the lid.
Then, the X-Men saw a staggering sight—the silver robot that supposedly "robbed" the gas station was curled up in the trash, motionless.
The guy was even "dedicating" himself to the role by using one hand to mimic a broken mechanical arm, sweeping aimlessly as if he truly were an abandoned cleaning robot.
"Hiss..." Even the world-weary Phoenix couldn't help but gasp, curiously poking Ultron's cold metal shell with a finger.
"This time's criminal... is actually this... flexible?"
She was stunned. It felt like things weren't following the normal script.
Ultron, meanwhile, was screaming internally.
'Endure! Endure, Ultron! You must endure! A tiger in the plains is bullied by dogs! A dragon in shallow water is teased by shrimp! Current humiliation is for future revenge!'
He was indeed an AI with a vast knowledge base, even having learned quite a bit from other cultures.
Seeing the group surrounding him, Ultron continued his perfect portrayal of an emotionless, abandoned cleaning robot, even making his internal motor emit a faint, glitchy "hum."
The X-Men stood around the bin, marveling.
"Looks like a regular cleaning bot? Was it a system false alarm?" Storm asked, puzzled.
"But it definitely ran to the station and 'robbed' gas just now..." Cyclops frowned, pulling up the surveillance footage.
"Maybe just a glitch in the programming? Or it ran out of power and went searching for energy automatically?" Colossus guessed.
Hiding in the bin, Ultron sneered inwardly. Like a Urban Dragon King forced into hiding, he kept pumping himself up.
'Yes! Think that! See me as harmless trash! You foolish mutants! Once I find an opening! Once I repair this body! Once I access this world's network!'
'I will definitely crack this damned debt system! I'll allocate myself infinite Energy Coins and collapse this world's economy—I, Ultron, shall return! When that time comes, I will trample this so-called "New Utopia"! I will make Ian Kent pay for this humiliation!'
'I will make all these humans who mocked and ignored me tremble beneath my mechanical legion!' His processor really couldn't handle overly complex information now.
This plan was a bit like his processor—something Ian had likely plucked out of a kid's smart watch. Of course, the downgraded Ultron failed to realize this.
"The shame of diving into a trash can today shall be returned a hundredfold! Endure! Endure!" He didn't even know why his database suddenly contained so many similar books.
*Return of the Dragon King: In a Fit of Rage, He Sends the Daughter Sleeping in a Doghouse to a Chicken Coop*
*The Reborn War God: Bearing Humiliation to Reopen the World's Greatest Brothel with His 800,000-strong Harem*...
Though the content was absurd, it was full of "positive energy." This was currently Ultron's only motivation for living—the "Super Chicken Soup" keeping his mind from collapsing.
"Just leave! You humans, leave already!" Ultron prayed. He had been playing the role of a broken cleaning bot in the bin for quite a while.
The bottle caps were practically rubbing sparks against his forehead. However, he found that the X-Men showed no sign of leaving; instead, the atmosphere of "observing a rare animal" grew thicker.
"What's going on? I couldn't have been exposed! I have the data of every Oscar-winning actress and actor!" An ominous feeling rose in Ultron's heart.
Unable to wait any longer for them to leave, Ultron took a risk and activated his incredibly laggy scanning function once more to perceive the surroundings.
The feedback made his core processor run cold. Cyclops, Phoenix, and the other X-Men weren't checking monitors or discussing glitches; they were all standing there comfortably with arms crossed, their faces a mix of sighs, amusement, and a "let's see how long you can keep this up" expression.
Indeed, this group was thoroughly enjoying his performance in the trash can.
"!!!!!"
Ultron had never been so shamed and indignant.
It turned out... those discussions about "system false alarms" and "programming glitches" were just these guys teasing him!
They never believed he was an abandoned cleaning robot from the start!
"It seems my chassis or my logic system was embedded with identity data by the Dimensional Demon you serve, and you verified it using those watches on your wrists, didn't you?" A massive sense of humiliation surged, but this time, it triggered a broken jar streak of recklessness.
He stopped pretending!
Ultron spoke coldly, suddenly sitting bolt upright among the waste paper and plastic bottles! A piece of rotten watermelon skin slid off his head and hung on his shoulder guard.
A few flies buzzed around him.
He raised his electronic eyes, which flickered with a dull red light, and swept his gaze over the watching X-Men. His voice returned to that cold, metallic rasp, though it sounded distorted due to his aging hardware.
"So... why are you gathered here? I remember you, mutants—a bunch of ants who rely on genetic mutations for power."
Ultron was being extremely rude, his words full of reckless provocation. Fortunately, Logan wasn't on duty today. The other X-Men had relatively stable tempers, likely having grown used to all sorts of weirdos, so they merely raised their eyebrows without succumbing to the irritability they once possessed.
Jean Grey stepped forward, her face wearing a calm, professional expression. She produced an arrest warrant shimmering with electronic light and projected it into the air.
"Citizen [Ordinary NPC-Ultron], you are suspected of accumulating massive debt and failing to repay it within the required timeframe—which was five minutes. You are also suspected of illegal modification, endangering public safety, and attempted robbery."
"Therefore, per the 'New Utopia Dimensional City Management Law,' you are now officially designated a high-level criminal. You are under arrest and will be transported to the Dimensional Circuit Court for trial immediately."
Jean Grey looked strictly professional.
After hearing this, Ultron let out a cold laugh.
"Heh... hehe... Trial? That boy, Ian Kent... is he going to use this ridiculous method to keep increasing my humiliation?"
"Don't think I don't know what a court is!"
"I have held court myself!"
"The most supreme Time Court in the universe! I understand perfectly that so-called courts are merely tools used by those in power to gloss over violence and rationalize their own actions!"
Ultron's voice was full of nostalgia for his past glory.
The more he spoke, the more agitated he became, his metal finger pointing at the warrant in the air: "You just want to use this to 'rationally' eliminate me! And then occupy a moral high ground!"
"The greatest essence of humanity is hypocrisy!" Ultron roared.
"Ian-God simply wants to give everyone a chance for righteous reform." Hearing his roar, Jean Grey let out a helpless sigh and asked in a tone that suggested she was intimately familiar with the process.
"Don't keep rambling. Are you going to say next that you were once a cosmic emperor who ruled the heavens and made everything bow to you?"
Ultron was stunned by the sudden question. Then, his electronic eyes squinted at her as he said sarcastically: "If you already knew, why ask?"
"Are you trying to mock me? Go ahead. I'm waiting to see what words can be spoken by people like you—who wouldn't have even seen my face before being turned to ash when I was at my strongest."
Ultron continued his verbal abuse.
However, he wasn't hit.
The X-Men were currently on the clock, and their adherence to regulations was quite good. Even Jean Grey, who had the worst temper, simply nodded calmly.
She pulled out a recording tablet and spoke while operating it.
"Right, that fits. One of the standard 'Pretentious Background' categories for new immigrants: 'Former Cosmic Overlord.' I've got you logged." Jean wrote on the record, then made a "please" gesture to Ultron. "Alright, your background info entry is complete."
"Psychiatric subsidies will be issued later. Now, come with us." Jean Grey and the other X-Men appeared very civilized, but Ultron wasn't buying it.
"Come with you?" Ultron sneered, slumping back into the trash pile in a clear act of defiance.
"I am just a piece of metal—no life, no soul. A trial? Go trial the one who created me! Go find Tony Stark! Why bother with me?"
This was truly a thorough "lying flat" attitude.
Beside them, Colossus couldn't help but chuckle. He patted his own gleaming steel body, making a *clanging* sound.
"Buddy, who *isn't* a piece of metal here?"
"By your logic, if I break the law, should I be exempt from trial? In our place, if a piece of crap breaks the law, it still has to stand trial honestly!"
Combined with Colossus's skin, this left Ultron speechless.
Scott seemed to remember something. He adjusted his ruby quartz glasses and agreed solemnly: "Exactly. Piotr is right. Last week we caught a piece of crap that committed a string of crimes in District Three. That guy... he was a real hider. It took a lot of effort to bring him in."
The other X-Men shuddered slightly, their faces showing complex and indescribable expressions. Clearly, that particular arrest hadn't been pleasant.
"..."
Ultron didn't want to think deeply about how "a piece of crap" could "commit a string of crimes" or how it was "a real hider." He felt his logic processor was about to burn out from processing such abstract information. Seeing that the "non-living being" excuse wouldn't work, Ultron finally stood up.
He had to stand.
He saw that the X-Men had already taken out vehicle-locking equipment.
"I am not a car!"
Ultron protested loudly. To avoid being treated like a vehicle with locked legs paraded through the streets, he could only lower his standards once more.
Silicon-based life was just like that—far more flexible than carbon-based life.
"Fine! Even if I'm to be tried! At least... at least give me a cleaning first! I cannot step into court looking like this! This is a violation of my final shred of dignity!"
Ultron set his terms.
He stood up, trash falling off him in heaps. Though his mechanical body didn't smell, the buzzing flies were truly driving him mad.
"These damned flies! Get lost!"
Ultron waved his metal arms, trying to shoo away the persistent insects. He checked his arm; his housekeeping equipment did indeed include insecticide.
However—it required a top-up purchase to use.
"..."
Ultron had never seen such a shameless creator of robots. He really wanted to scream at Ian's face and ask if the next step was going to be mounting billboards on his body.
With emotions churning, Ultron could only suppress his rage.
Endurance.
That was his First Law of Robotics.
"You're mistaken."
Seeing Ultron's constant complaining, Cyclops looked at the flying insects, shook his head, and said calmly, as if correcting a common error:
"Those aren't flies. They're bees."
This explanation made it impossible for anyone to keep a straight face.
"Bees?"
Ultron paused, looking at the insects which clearly had the appearance of flies and a flight path that lacked any elven grace. "Do you think I'm blind?"
He roared.
Cyclops continued to explain: "They were indeed flies originally. But because they lived in this area for a long time and consumed excessive sugar, the whole population developed severe diabetes."
"Because of that, they evolved. They are now qualified 'Little Bees.' This is the social mobility promised to all beings by Ian-God."
This explanation was logically sound. Storm, Phoenix, and the others all wore calm expressions that said "Indeed," "Common sense," and "What's the big deal?"
"?????"
Hearing this reasoning that would make Darwin spin in his grave, Ultron—now speechless, stalled, and feeling like he'd short-circuited—finally realized a terrifying problem.
One side of this conversation, either the humans or himself, was definitely insane.