"Kid, I'm looking at you and I see Howard's eyes, but luckily you didn't inherit his receding hairline. Your old man and I used to... well, let's just say we shared a few drinks and dodged a few bullets together." Logan leaned back, crossing his thick arms over his chest as he gave Tony Stark a look that was pure, concentrated condescension. "Technically, that makes me your superior in the family tree. Come on, nephew, don't be shy. Let's hear you say 'Uncle Logan' just once. I might even buy you a beer."
Huang Wen stood by the defrosting tank, a look of profound helplessness washing over his face. He watched Logan—the man who was supposed to be a brooding, lone-wolf assassin—behave like a mix between a grumpy grandfather and a professional troll. What had happened to the "Claw of the North"? When did the feral mutant warrior turn into a wisecracking retiree? Huang Wen refused to take the blame for this personality shift. Maybe the air in the Wing Chun school was just too relaxing, or maybe Logan was finally making up for a century of suppressed snark. Honestly, the only person who could probably shut this version of Logan up was a guy in a red spandex suit named Deadpool, but thankfully, that headache hadn't shown up yet.
"Heh." Tony Stark didn't miss a beat. He snapped out of his momentary shock at Logan's longevity and fired back with the surgical precision of a JARVIS-guided missile. "That's a touching story, Pops. Really. But it's a bit tragic, don't you think? A man who's been walking the earth for nearly two centuries, and you're still clocking in for a paycheck at a local gym? You've had two hundred years of compound interest and you still haven't achieved financial independence? That's not 'Uncle' energy, that's 'failed life choices' energy."
Tony wasn't about to be bullied by a guy who dressed like he'd just stepped out of a 1970s lumberyard. If anyone thought they could take a verbal swing at Tony Stark and walk away clean, they clearly hadn't read his Twitter mentions. He had a warehouse full of insults ready to go, and he didn't care if the guy in front of him had metal bones or not.
"Alright, that's enough! Both of you, shut it!" Huang Wen barked, rolling his eyes so hard he nearly saw his own brain. If he let these two keep going, they'd still be arguing about Howard Stark's bar tabs by the time Steve Rogers died of old age for a second time.
Huang Wen turned his attention to Tony, who was still smirking. "The Captain's situation is stable. We don't need your 'genius' commentary for the next forty-eight hours while he thaws. I'm sending you back to Base Two. That alien spaceship isn't going to reverse-engineer itself, and frankly, I think the ship is more productive than you are right now."
"Wow, look at that. The classic 'use him and lose him' routine," Tony grumbled, though he didn't actually resist. He adjusted his collar, looking offended. "I feel like a discarded tool. Is this how you treat all your consultants? I should send you an invoice for emotional damages."
"Are you serious?" Huang Wen stared at him with a 'are you kidding me' expression. "Do you even hear yourself? You're the poster child for using people and forgetting their names by breakfast. If anyone in the history of the world is barred from complaining about being 'used,' it's you, Stark. Now, move."
Without waiting for another retort, Huang Wen waved a hand. Space distorted, and Tony's molecules were instantly converted into shimmering particles of light, whisking him away to the high-tech confines of Base Two before he could get the last word in.
Bruce Banner, who had been trying to blend into the wallpaper to avoid the crossfire, stepped forward. He looked like he'd been through a metaphorical blender. "Sir... if the heavy lifting is done here, I'd really like to head home. I haven't seen Betty all night, and my brain feels like it's been fried in the Hulk's gamma radiator."
"Go ahead, Bruce. You've earned it," Huang Wen said, his tone softening. He watched Banner stumble toward the exit. It occurred to him that he really was treating these guys like disposable labor. Thaw the Captain, fix the ship, go home, repeat. He was becoming a bit of a supernatural middle-manager.
Huang Wen turned to the rest of the group. "And you, Logan? Planning on sleeping here until your old war buddy wakes up? You've got at least two more days of watching ice melt."
Logan's jaw tightened. "If I go MIA for two more days, Jean is going to think I've been kidnapped again. And trust me, if she comes looking for me and finds out I've been hanging out in a basement, she'll probably level this entire neighborhood just to make a point."
"Good point," Huang Wen shivered slightly. Even with his current power levels, the thought of an unleashed Phoenix Force made his skin crawl. That wasn't just 'superpower'; that was cosmic-tier erasure. "Let's get you back to the school before the redhead decides New York needs a new crater."
A few moments later, the group was back at the Wing Chun martial arts school. While Logan went to soothe a potentially explosive Jean Grey, the younger generation was already itching for action. Huang Liang and Peter Parker, eager to maintain their "friendly neighborhood" reputation, slipped into their suits and swung out into the afternoon sun.
The problem was, New York City in the broad daylight wasn't exactly a hive of super-villainy. Most criminals with half a brain preferred the cover of darkness, and the ones who didn't usually got caught by the NYPD before a superhero could even finish their morning coffee.
"Hey, Liang, you hear that?" Peter's head snapped to the side as they perched on the edge of a skyscraper overlooking Times Square. His enhanced hearing picked up a familiar rhythm—the sound of a news broadcast.
Down below, the massive jumbotron that usually blasted perfume ads and movie trailers was flickering with a "Breaking News" banner. The faces of two masked figures were plastered across the screen: the Spider-Duo.
"Check it out," Peter whispered, his voice buzzing with a mix of excitement and anxiety. "We're trending."
On the screen, a polished news anchor was interviewing a man in a sharp suit, identified as a "Security and Meta-Human Analyst."
"These new vigilantes are taking New York by storm," the host said, her voice dripping with practiced enthusiasm. "In the wake of Tony Stark's Iron Man, we're seeing a shift in the heroic landscape. They call themselves the 'Spider-Tiley'—or the Spider-Duo—and they've already made a massive impact by taking down a high-tech criminal using experimental weaponry. But the big question remains: are we looking at a new breed of Mutants, or something else entirely?"
The analyst on screen shook his head firmly, pulling out a tablet and displaying a high-resolution photo of the web-shooters on Huang Liang's wrist.
"I don't think they're mutants," the analyst stated. "The NYPD's specialized units were on-site with high-grade mutant detection hardware. If there was a X-gene signature, it would have pinged immediately. No, what we're seeing here is 'The Stark Effect.' These kids—whoever they are—are likely tech-prodigies. Those web-launchers are sophisticated mechanical devices, and that 'high-tech criminal' they fought was clearly using stolen, unfinished glider tech from Oscorp. It's a tech arms race, not a genetic one."
Peter nudged Liang. "Hear that? We're 'tech-prodigies' now. I guess that's better than being called monsters."
The news anchor leaned in, her expression turning serious. "But is this a net positive for the city? Does the presence of these 'Spider-Men' actually make people safer, or are they just inviting more chaos?"
"It's an absolute win for the citizens," the analyst countered, his tone decisive. "Before, when a guy on a flying surfboard started throwing bombs, people just ran and prayed. Now, there's a deterrent. These two aren't just reacting; they're stopping the threat before the police even have time to set up a perimeter. They're the front line."
"But what about the police?" the host pressed, frowning. "In this latest incident, the NYPD mostly just stood around and watched. Doesn't this undermine our entire legal system? If anyone can put on a mask and play cop, where does it end?"