Evan returned to walking normally to the Academy of Tenebrae. At least he wanted it to be as normal as before.
The news that he had become the director's protégé had already spread through the school before he even managed to cross its gate.
The reason for that was the school newspaper. The entire front page was taken up by an article about him and his patronage. There was also something about his mental health. At first the students refused to believe it, but after the entire editorial staff of the school paper was called onto the carpet, and then uniformed officers arrived, everyone believed it was true.
Some claimed the director was overreacting, others claimed the editorial staff had walked into the swamp themselves, a third group preferred to stay silent — but not out of fear of the director. They were afraid of something far worse… a special 10,000-word paper for Professor Ratel due tomorrow, and if you were late…
Supposedly there had been one who couldn't finish some paper on time. Supposedly he fled to the red zone with a sign reading "Eat me… anyone." All the students agreed that was better than what would have awaited him at the teacher's hands.
Right, the teachers… and the students too…
Evan immediately felt the change in status. Everyone was ready to bow to the waist and assure him of their friendship and respect.
When some student opened the door for him, he thanked him.
Then another student pulled out a chair for him. He felt that something was wrong.
A teacher addressed him as if he were some billionaire's child. He looked as if he expected a promotion for it.
A third student offered him notes. That was strange, because he had his own from the lesson, and this particular student guarded his notes like the apple of his eye. Something really was wrong.
A fourth, who until now had treated him with indifference, spoke of him as if he were the winner of several Nobel Prizes and spent half the day walking close to him.
A fifth, who used to joke that Evan should just go to the kitchen himself, offered him meat — but not his own, and not necessarily processed into parts, and not necessarily from another class. Evan didn't want to know whose meat he was talking about.
A sixth, with whom he had recently had a serious argument, knelt in front of him and on his knees called him "great and magnanimous." He had an expression as if he were afraid he was about to become part of a butcher shop's assortment. After that one, Evan felt strongly mentally exhausted, and that was only until the end of the first lesson… then there were many others. Too many…
For the first time in his life he truly felt the need to skip school, but because of the collar it would have been discovered immediately. Because the director always knew where he was at any given moment.
That collar first and foremost protected him from neglecting his duties… so as not to call it something else. A shame it didn't work on flatterers.
Fortunately classes were already over and he was sitting in a café with Shawn. They were still waiting for Rufus.
Shawn seemed not to care about any of it. He behaved as usual. Nihilistic, hedonistic and cynical — compared to school it was like a breath of fresh breeze. He even laughed a little when he saw Evan leaning against the table.
"Relax, in some time everyone will calm down."
Evan turned his head toward him.
"And when exactly?"
"Three years at most."
"So when I finish school?" His voice was more bitter than watercress. He had been counting on a bit of peace after all this. Everyone seemed to have conspired to suck up. Even Frida's gang had started calling him "the Boss Lady's Great Boyfriend." He felt like a big shot in an office comedy, not a student.
"Actually, where is Rufus? He's late."
Shawn pulled out his phone.
"I'll admit I didn't expect that."
"Me neither. Who would have thought Rufus would pull a stunt like that."
"That's not what I meant."
"Then what?" Behind them a lifeless voice spoke. When they turned, they saw…
"Rufus, is that you?"
He nodded.
He sat down heavily, so that the chair creaked. He didn't look like himself. Normally he was an ordinary lonely rabbit who looked with envy at every couple. Now he gave the impression of having gone through hell or Professor Ratel's detention.
"What else?" He sounded as if he were accusing the entire world of attempting an assassination on him. Shawn burst out laughing.
"You started a fashion for public sex."
Rufus measured him with a look that could practically kill, but it wasn't strong enough for Shawn to lose his composure.
"Seriously. Do you have any idea how much searches for things like 'under the open sky,' 'in the park' or 'in public places' have gone up. That's top now."
Rufus clenched his teeth and fists.
"The boss lady is delighted. She asked me about you."
Rufus suddenly came to life. He grabbed his friend by the collar and pulled him close.
"She asked about me?! Can I get patronage or at least protection?!"
He looked at him with insane desperation. So insane that even Shawn was thrown off his rhythm.
"Well, if you had a reputation and pulled stunts like that sober."
"Do I have a chance?! Yes or no?!"
"No." Shawn sounded unusually thin for him. Rufus collapsed onto the chair, letting out a sound that resembled a soul cracking.
"Rufus, what happened to you?"
"Page 4." The rabbit threw the school newspaper onto the table. Evan took the paper and could not believe his own eyes.
"Your meat evaluation leaked?! How did they get their hands on that?!" Evan was in shock.
"And those photos and the layout… it looks like an adult magazine." Shawn also couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"The editorial staff is screwed," they both said.
Shawn turned to Evan.
"Rufus, them writing about your meat is nothing compared to your…"
"I was groped…" He sounded as if his soul were leaving his body.
"Once?"
"After a dozen or so I stopped counting…"
They both looked at Rufus, then at each other.
"That's not even everything yet…" They looked at him. "In my locker I found letters. With invitations to dinner… of me. Some even attached packets of sauce."
"And was it good?"
Rufus shot Shawn a hateful look.
"Shawn…"
The ram just spread his hands.
"Something good did happen to me, though."
A cardboard box appeared on the table. After the lid was lifted, carrot cake was revealed.
"Someone likes me. Someone feels sorry for me."
"Rufus, that might be…"
Evan had already started to say something, but when he looked into Rufus's eyes, he fell silent.
"This is not a trap. Even if it looks like a trap, it is not a trap. Even if it seems suspicious, it is not a trap." He showed them the letter. It was written in nice, delicate handwriting, and in the corner there was a lipstick print.
"Some girl likes me and feels sorry for me. This is… this is not a trap."
He sounded like someone who knew it was a trap but desperately wanted to believe it was proof of affection. For a moment he repeated it like a mantra, before someone suddenly snatched the box from in front of his nose.
"I'll take that, loser."
"Hey!" Rufus shouted.
"What do you think you're… Wait… I recognize you. Didn't the display case teach you anything?"
Evan recognized the attackers at first glance. A bigger rabbit, a smaller rabbit, a goat and a ram. The same gang that not so long ago had broken into their dormitory.
"I killed every buyer with a look."
"And not because the slaughter fee made it not worth buying you?"
He measured them with a hostile look.
"Better put that down."
"Or what will you do to me, faggot? Complain to Frida and ask her to punch you through?"
The gang leader clenched his hand into a fist.
"Or maybe I should count your teeth? No, I know — I'll cut you into cutlets."
Evan did not let himself be intimidated. On top of that he was aware enough of his disease that mere meat slogans were not strong enough to distract him.
"So who are you going to call for help afterward? Mommy?"
In answer he exposed the collar on his neck. Shawn did the same.
"What, Frida makes you wear it openly?"
"Boss…"
"What…" The rabbit turned to the goat, but when he saw her terrified look, he fell silent.
"Those are… patronage collars… if we so much as touch them…"
The rabbit swallowed. He turned toward the three would-be victims.
"We're leaving. They're not worth the effort." He tried to sound contemptuous, but his voice was too thin to produce the desired effect.
"He won't have time to eat this anyway."
He grabbed a piece of cake and shoved it into his mouth.
"Not bad…"
He instantly dropped full length onto the sidewalk. Before they finished blinking, a group of girls in Tenebrae uniforms ran up to them, picked up the rabbit and started fleeing.
"Come back!"
"Give the boss back!"
The gang threw themselves into pursuit. The trio of boys stood stunned.
"What happened?" Shawn finally spoke.
"I think I know." They turned. Callisa approached them. She picked up the dropped cake and sniffed it. "Valerian. In small amounts it enhances the flavor of carrot; in larger amounts it works as a strong sleeping agent."
Rufus slammed his head against the table and began to cry.
All three of them felt sorry for him. All he wanted was to have a girlfriend, but every attempt to find affection ended with him being stood up. The consequence of that was getting drunk and the photo humiliation.
"This won't last forever. The chief commissioner told me about it. Photos as consent have limited value."
"Tomorrow it will all be over? Right? Tomorrow it will already be the end?" Rufus looked at him through tears with hope.
"In a month." It was hard for Evan to get that through his throat.
Rufus slammed the table with all his strength.
An awkward silence fell, broken by Evan's phone.
"Arslan is calling me. I have to go."
He pointed at his collar and left for the meeting.
He arrived at the place indicated by his master. It was the kitchen he had ended up in the day before the apprentice exam.
"Evan, how is your first day going?"
He confided in him about the behavior of the students and teachers. The director sighed.
"I went through that too after becoming Professor Gator's protégé. In some time it will quiet down."
"Will they look at me like they used to?"
He didn't even ask how long that would take.
A moment of silence fell, until finally the director answered with a single word.
"No. Let's leave that for now. How is your… condition?"
He thought for a moment. Already the mere slogan without subtext seemed not to work on him… well, at least not the way it used to. But Arslan's kitchen was something else entirely. The disease buried him in visions of cooking meat. His meat. His breathing grew stronger. He thought about how much his psyche had changed when Morona had pulled him off the slippery slope to the plate. Now he knew he was sick, but everything seemed like climbing a very steep mountain. On the other hand, climbing a cliff would probably have been a better comparison.
"So what do you want to coo—" he cleared his throat "—tell me?"
Arslan looked at him like a teacher telling a student he should be more careful.
"In your original world, did you eat meat?"
"Yes."
"Have you eaten meat after being transferred to Carnivory?"
"Never."
"Why?"
"At first I didn't feel like it, and then there was all of this and somehow there was never an occasion…"
"It's time you understood what meat is."
He really didn't understand these questions. He was already about to ask the master what he meant when he saw it…
Arslan took out a pan, a little butter, salt, pepper and a piece of meat. He put the pan on the heat, melted the butter. He took the meat and began to fry it. Evan watched as if hypnotized. He stood motionless. Finally Arslan set a plate with the meat and cutlery in front of him.
"Eat."
Evan took the cutlery and swallowed. The smell of the meat drilled into his nose. Saliva flooded his mouth. His mind was washed over by a wave of sensory signals. Somewhere at the back of his head there was a voice. That voice told him to undress immediately and jump onto the kitchen island.
Evan swallowed.
He drove the fork into the meat on the plate. He cut it. Juice flowed. He lifted a piece near his mouth. He felt himself trembling.
He put the piece in his mouth and bit.
What he experienced then could not be described in ordinary words.
First he felt warmth and a burst of juice in his mouth. It was like a strike of unknown energy.
When he swallowed… all that energy spread through his body. It was a sudden shock of euphoria. An unknown feeling of culinary rapture.
His entire nervous system was flooded with intense sensations. It was a true storm of energy spreading through body and mind. An extraordinary culinary pleasure.
He kept eating.
He thought about how it tasted.
He thought about how it had been cooked.
He thought about how it had been obtained.
He thought about how it could have been him.
He thought about how he could have cooked it.
When he finished, the feeling subsided. Only an empty plate remained and a satisfying feeling of fullness.
He thought about who it was from. How others might taste. Whether he should…
He stopped. His thoughts had started to go too far.
But for the first time he understood.
He understood why in Carnivory they worshipped meat so much.
It was not just food. It was almost a drug. True black ambrosia.
He looked at the plate and understood one more thing. After that bite, retreat was already impossible. He himself would now want to eat meat. A lot of meat. Even too much.
"Want more?" Arslan asked.
Evan shook his head.
He wanted to, but he felt he had to restrain his hunger. On top of that he felt something else.
Until now he had felt he was standing over an abyss. Now he felt he was balancing on a thin rope. A fall to one side meant he would become meat. A fall to the other meant he would be the one preparing meat.
In that moment he felt fear of himself.
He felt that this path would be very bumpy.