The datapad beeped, signaling the end of the communication session, but I paid no attention to it. Mechanically rising from the chair, I took a couple of steps and sat down on the floor, leaning my back against the side of the bed. My gaze fixed on a single point on the wall.
I… felt nothing. Nothing at all. All the emotions that had filled me just a moment ago—confusion, sadness, hope, anger, incomprehension, pain, love—simply disappeared, giving way to peace and tranquility. And my chest filled with emptiness. Absolute emptiness.
I put my head in my hands and laughed. So that's it… Naive idiot. What did I expect? From my point of view, everything was fine, but… I got too carried away, and in the end, I was put in my place. Who am I to her? A Jedi Knight. A man outside her circle. Without a stake in the ground. I was weighed, evaluated, and then cast aside. I turned out to be unnecessary. What more is there to say—I would have had to leave the Order to be with her—but then I would have become a nobody at all.
But… Hutt, how is one to deal with all this… How did Yoda put it? "The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.… For attachment leads to jealousy, and jealousy is the shadow of greed. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." Easy to say, hard to do… Skywalker, after all, couldn't manage it… But what do you do when it's you who has been let go?
I listened to myself, but I couldn't catch a trace of what used to fill me, what made my heart beat faster at the mere mention of her name. All of it simply vanished, gone. Dissipated like morning mist. Well, to hell with it. So what… I turned out not good enough for her? Then so be it… let her be happy.
Suddenly, Ahsoka's voice rang out in my head.
Master, are you all right?
Using the Force, I sensed that she was standing outside the door—and that the girl was very worried.
Yes.
With a wave of my hand, I opened the door.
"Come in."
***
Ahsoka woke up with a vague feeling of anxiety. Focusing, she found the cause of her unease. It was the Master. Reaching out to him, she felt… sadness and pain. And then—everything suddenly disappeared. Hastily gathering herself, she left the cabin and, after taking a few steps, found herself at his door.
At first, the Jedi did not respond, but then, through their mental connection, she managed to reach him. Entering the cabin, she found the Jedi sitting on the floor near the bed.
"Master, are you okay?"
"Yes. Why are you so alarmed?"
"Master…" Ahsoka sat down on the bed. "I felt that you were in great pain. And then… I stopped feeling anything at all. Well, I—"
"Were you scared?"
"A little," the girl replied honestly.
"It's all right. I just… had a dream. A bad one."
"I have them sometimes too. Jabiim…"
"Hm. Why didn't I sense it?"
"Well, we're taught to close ourselves off from others so as not to disturb them. So before I went to sleep, I—"
"I don't even know—should I be apologizing to you, or scolding you?"
"And why me, exactly?" the Togruta asked in surprise.
"What if something had happened to you and I didn't know about it? How would I feel then?"
Ahsoka was embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, Master."
They sat in silence for a while.
"Well, since we're awake," the Jedi said, pulling a small package from the table, "how about some chocolate?"
With these words, the teacher handed her a bar in silver wrapping.
"Well, if only one," she replied thoughtfully.
And then they both laughed.
***
A day and a half had passed since that night. We were bored with idleness—well, not really idleness: I was busy with Ahsoka, devoting all my time to her training. We even made progress in her mastery of the Force Barrier: the girl managed to deflect one shot. Then there were more failures, but even that was progress.
Finally, at the end of the second day, our wait was over. The Jedi on Devaron finally had dug up some information.
"…The Dark Woman and I, independently of each other, have gathered information about two bases on the south side of the mountains…" The Jedi's hologram jerked, probably because he was moving.
"I just spoke with Senator Vyen'Sai'Malloc. She reported the location of the base—on the northern side of the mountains," the blue-skinned Twi'lek joined our conversation.
"We can't wait for confirmation. Move out. We'll check the south—"
The connection was lost.
"Master Tholme? Master Tholme!"
"The signal is gone, ma'am," Mirro explained.
"This is not good. I'm sending you the coordinates. Begin the attack!" Secura shouted as she disconnected.
"We understand, Master Secura. Knight Vikt—"
"Yes. Lichtendal, let's go! Blam, get the fighters ready. Ahsoka… you'll go with Master T'ra Saa. Your target is the enemy base. I'll go help Secura."
"Good plan," replied the Neti.