The shadow didn't fly.
It fell.
It wasn't a creature moving through the air—it was the mountain itself deciding to descend.
The wind screamed, shaking trees to their roots.
Pines snapped like matchsticks.
Snow, ice, and rock exploded into the air, a frozen torrent that buried the valley in a blinding, white cloud.
Sai Ji stood in the yard, clutching the sack of Frostfall Reds like a fragile shield.
The smell of earth, potatoes, and normal life was almost comforting.
Almost.
"If that thing touches a potato," he said flatly, "I am filing a complaint with the universe. I want a manager. I will escalate."
Nyx slid into a perfect stance, blades shimmering faintly. "Master," he said, calm as a still pond, "that presence… is illegal. Its magnitude… unprecedented at this altitude."
Aeliana's hands glowed, tracing arcs of frost in the air. "Pre-Imperial energy. Archaic. This is… more than S-rank. More than modern S-rank. This… may be banned entirely."
Midnight Wolf clung to the farmhouse wall, knees shaking. "Bro… we signed up to deliver potatoes. Not survive a mountain's temper tantrum!"
The farmer and his family tumbled into the yard, eyes wide, panic straining their voices. Bram pointed at Sai Ji, voice cracking. "You! Save us! Save… the potatoes!"
Sai Ji raised his hands helplessly. "I… am just the delivery guy! I'm not a mountain tamer!"
The shadow landed.
Snow roared, ice shattered, and the ground quaked.
When the white cloud cleared, it stood there: a bear-shaped mountain of ice and stone, taller than the farmhouse, six glowing blue eyes staring unblinkingly at him. Its breath froze the air.
Frost leapt in sparks from the ground.
It didn't roar. It didn't charge.
It sniffed the sack of potatoes with deliberate curiosity.
Sai Ji gulped. "Okay… note to self. Must not… make eye contact."
The Behemoth raised a claw—but not at him.
At the potatoes.
Sai Ji panicked.
He swatted the claw with one hand while hugging the sack with the other.
BWOONG.
The claw struck nothing.
A ripple of force hurled the creature backward.
It skidded across the yard, slammed into a boulder, splitting it perfectly in half.
Silence fell, heavy and complete.
The Behemoth turned its six glowing eyes back on Sai Ji. Slowly, impossibly, it pressed its massive icy snout to the snow at his feet. A deep, purring rumble vibrated through the valley, shaking the trees.
"No! I have a strict no-followers policy!" Sai Ji shrieked. "I am not adopting a mountain-sized dog! I did not sign paperwork!"
Nyx tilted his head. "It respects authority, Master. Not force. You… established a boundary."
Aeliana whispered, awed. "You… wrote a law it understood."
Sal Vera's voice filled his mind, warm and amused. "A new follower pledges itself. You inspire, even by accident."
Sai Ji groaned. "I did not ask for this. I am not royalty here. This isn't a title—it's a liability!"
Midnight Wolf, flattened against the wall, whispered, "Bro… the world isn't playing the game. The game is playing around you."
Bram and his family stumbled forward. "Y-you… saved… the crops?" Bram stammered. "With… your… uh… presence?"
A cow in the distance mooed nervously.
"Yes, we are not worthy," Sai Ji muttered. "I can barely handle three copper coins and a sack of potatoes."
The family bowed. The children looked like they were going to worship him. Sai Ji waved a hand. "No! I am not your deity. I am… a delivery guy!"
Aeliana elbowed him. "You inspired awe, and the Behemoth recognized you as authority."
"Authority is exhausting," Sai Ji said. "I want paperwork. I want quiet. I want normal. Not a narrative event."
Nyx sighed. "Fate rarely consults the weary."
The return trip to Frostfall was silent.
Townspeople peered from windows.
Children whispered.
Even birds avoided Sai Ji's path.
Broken pines and shattered rocks marked his route, like breadcrumbs of unintended power.
At the guild hall, conversations ceased mid-sentence.
Even the clerk froze, letting a ledger fall.
Sai Ji approached the quest desk, clutching three copper coins, praying for a return to obscurity.
The doors slammed open. Presence alone..
Not kicked. Not pushed. Just slammed.
The Crimson Talon, Frostfall's famed A-rank party, entered.
Their leader, Vesperion, froze mid-step, eyes wide with disbelief and anger.
"You," he said, pointing at Sai Ji's F-rank token. "Prove your rank. One strike. Defend yourself."
The guild hall held its breath.
Vesperion lunged, summoning a spear of ice magic.
Sai Ji didn't move.
He looked at the spell
Presence alone, casual, neutral, unbothered.
The ice dissolved into harmless mist.
Vesperion froze. "What…?"
Sai Ji raised his hands, tired. "See? Harmless."
He turned and walked to the quest desk.
Behind him, the guild realized the F-rank adventurer was no longer a beginner. He was something else.
Impossible. Safe. Unreachable.
By evening, the town buzzed with rumor.
"Did you see him? The F-rank tamer of mountains?"
"His potato delivery… was a miracle."
"Do not anger him. Even the Behemoth bows."
Sai Ji sat quietly in the guild hall, hiding behind a mug of watered cider. "I just wanted a chill, uneventful mission. That's it. Zero magical consequences. Zero fanfare. Just potatoes."
Nyx murmured: "You inspire narrative events even in mundane tasks."
Aeliana sighed. "You've single-handedly rewritten what 'F-rank' means."
Midnight Wolf raised his hand. "Bro… the bard will write a trilogy about today. Gold, pure gold!"
Sai Ji groaned. "I hate being this conspicuous."
A faint purr vibrated in the distance. Frosthorn Behemoth, perhaps patrolling the valley, a silent sentinel of respect.
Sai Ji pinched the bridge of his nose. "No. I am not adopting pets this size. Absolutely not. No paperwork signed."
The guild hall door swung open.
A courier arrived, breathless. "Sir! Next F-rank assignment—uh… are you ready for another 'normal' delivery?"
Sai Ji stared at the slip. "…Potatoes. Bramblewood Farm. That's it. No magic. No monsters. No narrative interference. Perfectly boring."
Aeliana nodded. "Three-hour walk. Peaceful."
Nyx muttered: "Zero variables."
Midnight Wolf raised a fist. "Chill vibe. Okay, bro."
Sai Ji exhaled slowly.
"Yes. Chill. Normal. Boring. For once, no one dies. No mountains fall. No Behemoths bow. Just… potatoes."
The sun set over Frostfall, dusting the valley in pink light.
Somewhere, high in the mountains, the Behemoth's six blue eyes watched.
Respectful, patient. Waiting.
Sai Ji took a deep breath.
This was supposed to be the start of nothing happening. Somehow, he already suspected it would be a long, very long, absurd journey
.Perfect. Let's add a mini-epilogue scene for maximum comedic fallout and to show the guild—and Frostfall at large—reacting to Sai Ji's "Frosthorn Fiasco." This will give the chapter more weight, humor, and setup for the next absurd F-rank adventure.
By the next morning, Frostfall was a city-wide theater.
"Did you hear?" whispered a baker to a blacksmith. "The F-rank delivery guy… tamed a mountain-sized beast… with… potatoes?"
"That's impossible," said the blacksmith, rubbing soot from a forge. "F-rank doesn't do impossible."
At the guild hall, the rumor mill was even worse.
Every adventurer, clerk, and apprentice had an opinion.
"F-rank?" said a seasoned swordswoman. "He couldn't even be human. I felt his aura from three streets away."
"Three streets?" muttered a rogue. "I felt the mountain."
Midnight Wolf, stationed at the door like a hype-scout, scribbled furiously in a notebook. "Bro… legend! Gold-tier legend material!"
Nyx sat beside him, calculating. "Master's influence radius… incidentally exceeds all known F-rank metrics. Data: catastrophic, statistically impossible."
Aeliana pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is why we can't have normal missions."
Sai Ji slouched behind the quest desk, trying to become invisible.
His F-rank token gleamed like a cursed badge.
Every eye in the hall seemed magnetized to him.
A young acolyte peered up timidly. "Sir… I… uh… could you… maybe… show me how to… move a potato?"
Sai Ji groaned. "Kid… you really want to start that life now?"
Meanwhile, the Crimson Talon lingered outside. Vesperion paced, fists clenched. "One strike. I was supposed to test him. One strike. And he… disintegrated my ice magic with a look?!"
Inside, Brynn—still recovering from last week's "tap"—peeked from a corner. "He's F-rank. They said F-rank. He… is… not."
Even the guildmaster, Rokan, appeared at the doorway, arms crossed, expression unreadable. "You've broken the hierarchy… again. And I don't even know how to discipline someone like you."
Sai Ji waved a hand helplessly. "I did not break it. I just… exist. I am literally trying to deliver potatoes without narrative complications."
Aeliana whispered under her breath, "Narrative complications follow him like shadows."
Outside the guild, townsfolk gawked.
Children pointed. Merchants paused.
Someone shouted, "The F-rank tamer of mountains! He walks among us!"
Midnight Wolf scribbled the headline anyway. "BRO DELIVERS POTATOES, MOUNTAIN BOWS. BARDIC TRILOGY INCOMING."
Nyx muttered, "It's statistically impossible to survive this level of absurdity while remaining F-rank. He's… rewriting the parameters of reality."
Sai Ji leaned against the desk, holding his three copper coins like a shield. "I… I just wanted a chill, boring day. I just wanted potatoes. And yet… here we are."
Sal Vera's voice echoed softly in his mind. "Master, the world notices even your smallest steps. Prepare… your mundane is no longer mundane."
Sai Ji sighed. "I will never just pick potatoes again. Ever."
Outside, a shadow moved along the mountain ridges. Six glowing blue eyes watched, patient, respectful… and judging.
Sai Ji blinked. "I hate everything about my life."
Aeliana patted his shoulder. "You've officially become folklore, Master. Welcome to F-rank legend."
Midnight Wolf raised his notebook. "BRO! We've got gold! Pure gold! The next F-rank mission will be epic!"
Sai Ji buried his face in his hands. "I… need a vacation. Maybe somewhere… fictional. Far away from Behemoths… and potatoes."
And somewhere in Frostfall, the rumor mill spun faster than the northern wind, ensuring that no F-rank mission would ever again be… normal.