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For the next half hour, Hagrid laid out their zoo development plan. It started with Abraxans and Thestrals, moved on to Hippogriffs, then Thunderbirds and dragons—it sounded less like a zoo and more like they were planning to turn it into a flying fortress for Hogwarts. That many winged creatures? They'd need one.
"…And we want to conjure up a swamp. Lots of the little ones would love that…"
"Hagrid? Hagrid!" Henry had to raise his voice slightly to be heard over Fang's loud crunching as he worked on a treat. "Isn't the zoo supposed to be built on that empty patch west of the Forbidden Forest?"
"That's right, that's right!" Hagrid said enthusiastically. "Want to take a look, Henry? We've already moved the Chimera over. Built the stables and paddocks for the Abraxans too—Professor Kettleburn had a few leftover Jobberknolls from class, they're living nearby now, maybe we can put them next to the horse field—"
"I'm not on the authorized list to set foot on that land," Henry reminded him. "I just wanted to point out… that empty patch doesn't seem very large. Especially compared to a zoo that's supposed to have cliffs, swamps, forests, and deserts."
"Professor Kettleburn will figure it out. He always does! Wanted to borrow a few horses from Beauxbatons, but Professor McGonagall wouldn't hear of it…"
He launched into another enthusiastic description, this time including more creatures whose names contained multiple X's.
Henry glanced at Hagrid's still-blank parchment, shook his head, and grabbed the quill. He started writing. Hagrid stopped mid-sentence, surprised.
"What's that, Henry?"
Henry grunted an acknowledgment. He quickly jotted down a list: the magical creatures Hagrid had mentioned, the terrains, some of their key behaviors. Then he pushed the parchment back.
"Just a knowledge checklist," Henry said. "Maybe you can base your report on this. Tell Minerva exactly how many dangerous and highly dangerous creatures you plan to introduce next to the castle. And explain how you'll stop the Chimera and the dragons from fighting. Or how you'll stop them from eating their zoo colleagues—like those juicy winged horses—along with a few other… snacks."
Hagrid looked confused. "Other snacks?"
Henry gestured vaguely towards the castle. "Aged eleven to eighteen. Running around. Full of curiosity. Absolutely not going to follow any researcher's safety manual."
"Oh, that." Hagrid scratched his head. "Just give them enough space to roam and they'll be fine…" He admitted somewhat dejectedly, "We haven't started the dragon enclosure yet. Professor Kettleburn wants dragons too, but he says the other professors will never agree… Would you, Henry?"
Faced with Hagrid's hopeful, dark eyes, Henry hesitated. "I do have some concerns…"
"That's because you don't know what we can do!" Hagrid insisted stubbornly. "If you could see the barriers Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall made for the Chimera—Merlin's beard, you really should come see, Henry. You'd love it!"
Henry repeated, "I'm not on the authorized list for that land."
Hagrid hauled him to his feet (Henry was nearly lifted off the ground). "We can look from the side. I can lend you that telescope you gave me for Christmas."
Henry tried to refuse. "You know you blocked it off with a fence."
"Well, that's true." Hagrid thought for a moment. "Climb a tree then."
"Climbing isn't my strong suit—"
"Don't worry, I can lift you up into one," Hagrid said dismissively.
…
Under Hagrid's relentless insistence, they left the cabin and headed towards the western edge of the Forbidden Forest. Dark clouds churned overhead. A cold wind made the lantern in Hagrid's hand swing wildly, its metal frame clinking. Fang trotted ahead, nose to the ground, sniffing hard, and started veering off in a different direction. Hagrid tugged the leash, forcing the boarhound to stop reluctantly and lift his head.
"Probably a rabbit," Hagrid said, giving another firm pull. "Back here, Fang! We're not hunting today."
"Didn't know there were rabbits in the Forbidden Forest," Henry said.
Life for a rabbit here must be thrilling, surrounded by Acromantulas, Thestrals, and Centaurs.
"Might've wandered over from the woods nearby," Hagrid said. "They get everywhere. Fang found one by the chicken coop the other day… Almost there."
He quickened his pace. Henry had to half-jog to keep up. The more confident Hagrid looked, the more Henry dreaded what he was about to see.
"Hagrid, I still think—" Henry began, then nearly collided with Hagrid, who had stopped abruptly. "What is it?"
Hagrid brightened. "Professor Kettleburn's over there. They're having a Care of Magical Creatures lesson! Maybe they're about to study the Chimera." He craned his neck, peering intently for a moment, then sagged with disappointment. "Jobberknolls. How boring."
"Excellent," Henry said, standing on his toes curiously. "I've never seen a Jobberknoll. I hear their mane-hairs can… wait, is that Umbridge?"
Now Hagrid squinted too. "That Umbridge everyone's complaining about?" He frowned, staring. "Which one?"
"The pink one," Henry said. "Standing next to Miss Katie Bell."
Unless a student with mousy brown hair had suddenly decided to wear a giant pink bow and dye their robes pink, there was no other answer.
"Blimey, I thought she was a student," Hagrid said. "What's she doing here?"
"No idea," Henry said, suppressing a sinking feeling.
They moved closer. Now Henry could hear Umbridge's sickly-sweet voice.
"…According to the Curriculum Standards, contact with Jobberknolls is fourth-year material and above," Umbridge said, her back to them. She seemed to scribble something on her clipboard, then looked up, her voice dripping syrup. "Now, now, Silvanus, don't fret. I'm merely investigating how many professors are… unfamiliar with the Ministry's Curriculum Standards. If I were you, I'd give them a thorough read. All the knowledge a qualified witch or wizard needs is contained within. Consider this a friendly reminder." Her lofty tone carried the exact opposite of a friendly threat. She tilted her head in a parody of concern. "You know, just in case you receive another 'Unsatisfactory' during the next inspection…"
Professor Kettleburn's voice boomed, furious. "I don't give a knut for your Satisfactory or Unsatisfactory! If I were you, I'd shut my mouth, turn around, and leave before you spout any more nonsense. 'Friendly reminder'? How about this—you keep talking, and my walking stick might just find its way to your backside."
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