Seeing how readily his consultant admitted fault, Hu Tao's expression turned strange.
…Was this really Zhongli?
Had she hired a fake consultant all this time?
If people outside saw the Geo Archon like this, their jaws would probably hit the floor.
That said—surprise aside—how could she possibly let such a golden opportunity slip by?
The aggressive aura around Hu Tao vanished instantly.
She rubbed her chin, eyes spinning rapidly.
"A request?"
"Anything goes?"
"Ahem—someone as kind-hearted as Director Hu surely wouldn't make things too difficult for a humble consultant like me."
Zhongli coughed lightly.
This absolutely couldn't be agreed to outright.
Based on his understanding of the Director, she would definitely come up with something outrageous.
Better to play it safe.
Hu Tao rolled her eyes adorably.
She knew it—this guy was never that easy to deal with.
Still, this was more than enough.
A rare chance to squeeze some benefits out of him!
As for the request…
She thought about it, but nothing suitable came to mind.
After all, her long-cherished dream of "Rex Lapis endorsing Wangsheng Funeral Parlor" had already come true.
With that in mind, she decided to save it.
Who knew—she might need this card later.
"Alright, I got it!"
"I haven't thought of anything yet. I'll tell you when I do."
"But today's promise has witnesses—Venti and Dvalin—so you can't go back on it, Consultant~"
Hu Tao pointed toward the two professional spectators nearby.
Venti and Dvalin immediately thumped their chests in guarantee.
"Ehe, Director Hu, don't worry!"
"With us as witnesses, the old man definitely won't dare go back on his word!"
Jokes aside—
Opportunities to see the old man suffer were extremely rare.
Now that they had one, they had to seize it.
Zhongli could only feel helpless.
He was the God of Contracts, for heaven's sake.
How could he ever go back on his word?
What kind of image did he even have in the Director's mind…?
Hu Tao nodded in satisfaction.
A free request from Zhongli—huge profit!
Thanks, Rex Lapis!
…No, wait—thanks to the light screen~
"You guys sit tight. I'll be right back."
With that, Hu Tao turned and headed out of the main hall.
But as if she remembered something, she waved her hand casually without turning around.
"Relax. I'm not going to trouble the undertaker girl."
"I'm just telling her to buy that hairpin."
If she hadn't known, that would've been one thing.
But now that she did, she naturally wanted to help.
As for the money?
Heh—she'd just deduct it from Zhongli's salary~
Her mood instantly brightened.
She even began hopping as she walked.
Zhongli watched her leave, feeling relieved—and quietly moved.
"The Director really puts one at ease when it comes to serious matters."
"If only she weren't so… headache-inducing."
"Ehe~ without that quirky spirit, she wouldn't be Hu Tao."
Venti swirled his wine, speaking sagely.
After a brief pause, Zhongli smiled and nodded.
"Indeed."
"Come—let's toast to the old man having such a unique boss!"
"Cheers~"
"Me too~"
…
Near the Northland Bank
At the same time, Tartaglia was quietly slipping out of Liyue.
He had already disguised himself inside the Northland Bank.
Without careful inspection, no one would recognize him as Tartaglia.
Thanks to the light screen, everyone in Liyue knew his face now.
If he didn't change outfits, he'd be spotted the moment he stepped outside.
Even so, he tried his best to act natural.
And at all times, he kept an eye on the light screen and the chat group.
Just in case something unfavorable popped up.
After all, speaking with a shift of thought cost almost no effort.
And then—
It happened.
"I… I became Mr. Zhongli's other wallet?"
Tartaglia froze when he heard the commentary.
He'd only just met Zhongli!
How had he become someone's wallet already?
With that doubt in mind, he kept watching.
And then his mouth twitched.
Zhongli treated him to a meal—
And sent the bill to the Northland Bank?
He paid?
Is that how invitations work in Liyue?!
…Fine.
For Her Majesty's plan, it wasn't completely unacceptable.
Just like how he paid for them earlier in the light screen.
But the gift?!
You give me a gift—
And I pay for it?!
Alright.
That was absurd squared.
Absurdity opened the door for absurdity, and absurdity walked all the way home.
If this weren't Zhongli, Tartaglia would've started cursing already.
If you don't have money, don't act like a big spender!
Still, frustration aside, he felt a sense of relief.
"Whew…"
"Good thing I found out now."
"If this kept going, the Northland Bank would probably get buried in bills."
The Northland Bank wasn't Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
Zhongli wouldn't hold back.
At that point, Her Majesty would—
Lost in thought, Tartaglia suddenly caught sight of a group of people from the corner of his eye.
His expression changed instantly.
Pulling his collar tighter, he hurried off.
…
That group was naturally Ningguang and the others.
They didn't have Tartaglia's concerns, so they advanced openly and quickly reached the area.
They also kept part of their attention on the light screen.
After watching the video, their expressions turned strange.
Tartaglia was the Geo Archon's wallet?
Then arresting him—
Wouldn't that be arresting the Geo Archon's wallet?
Wouldn't Rex Lapis be out of money again?
Ningguang clenched her fist and coughed.
"Ahem. He still needs to be arrested."
"As long as Tartaglia remains in Liyue, Rex La—cough—the Geo Archon can visit this… foreign friend at any time."
"But if he escapes…"
"Then Rex La—cough—this friend would truly be gone."
Keqing, Ganyu, and the others struggled to keep straight faces.
Arresting him was one thing.
But now they were also planning to let the Geo Archon drain the Fatui Harbinger's wallet?
As expected of you.
Absolutely… brilliant.
They immediately nodded solemnly.
"Yes, you're right."
"Indeed."
"..."
And with that, they headed for the Northland Bank.
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine:
Huh? "Real name not worth mentioning"? That's such a weird name.
Paimon:
Hey! That's not the point! The wallet is the point!
Lumine:
Oh right—one Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, one Northland Bank. Rex Lapis is making a killing~
Alice:
Wangsheng, a thousand-year-old establishment! Northland Bank—the largest bank in Teyvat!
Alice:
With wallets like these, Morax's retirement life is way more comfortable than Venti's~
Jean:
Ahem… actually, Mondstadt has also established a special fund for Lord Barbatos.
Barbara:
Yes! Lord Barbatos won't be short on drinking money anymore!
Venti:
Ehe~
Yae Miko:
Tsk tsk… pity the two wallets~
Nahida:
So… is cooking the books also something to learn?
Kamisato Ayaka:
Cough—no, no. Cooking the books is wrong. Lesser Lord Kusanali shouldn't learn that.
Lumine:
Exactly! Zhongli's corrupting children! Yanfei, Furina—someone's cooking the books! What's the sentence? (🐶)
Yanfei felt speechless.
You want me to sentence Rex Lapis?
Why don't you ask me to sentence the Heavenly Principles while you're at it?
She was just a legal advisor, not an actual outlaw.
But Furina lit up with excitement.
Another chance to judge a foreign god!
Furina:
What?! Someone cooked the books? Then as the God of Justice, I must judge this personally!
Furina:
Death sentence! Immediate execution!
Azhdaha:
Support! Morax deceiving a little girl out of money—death sentence! (🐶)
Alice:
Exactly! Today it's fake accounts, tomorrow he sidelines Director Hu, the day after he kicks her out! Must judge! (evil laugh.jpg)
Venti:
After that he'll take over Liyue, then all of Teyvat! Support! (🐶)
Ei:
Ahem… cooking the books is bad. Very bad. Morax, please accept judgment. (🐶)
Nahida:
Eh? Is that how it works? (confused.jpg)
…
Zhongli could only sigh.
If he knew Earth slang, he'd say:
"I swear, you people are unbelievable."
But waiting to be judged wasn't an option.
Zhongli:
Yanfei, I wish to formally hire you as my legal advisor for this matter.
Yanfei:
No problem! Leave it to me!
Helping prosecute Rex Lapis?
Impossible.
Helping Rex Lapis fight others?
Absolutely possible.
She was fired up instantly.
Yanfei:
Ahem. I am now Mr. Zhongli's defense attorney.
Yanfei:
First, the light screen only shows a request—whether the undertaker helped is unknown.
Yanfei:
Second, the claims by Miss Alice and Lord Barbatos are speculation and lack evidentiary chains.
Yanfei:
Third, the incident has not yet occurred. One cannot judge based on future events.
Yanfei:
Fourth, for a trial to proceed, the victim—Director Hu—must press charges. She has not.
Yanfei:
Hu Tao, do you wish to sue Mr. Zhongli?
Hu Tao:
Oh, it's all a misunderstanding! What fake accounts? My consultant is a good person~
Normally, she'd tease him.
But she had just secured a free request and was in an excellent mood.
Yanfei:
Excellent.
Yanfei:
Conclusion: insufficient evidence, no plaintiff, and no established crime. This trial is invalid.
Yanfei:
Furthermore, the baseless accusations have caused severe emotional distress to my client.
Yanfei:
Compensation is required—or I will sue all of you. The chat group is not a lawless zone.
The gods fell silent.
They were just joking—
Why was Morax taking this seriously?
Alice withdrew a message.
Venti withdrew a message.
Ei withdrew a message.
Azhdaha withdrew a message.
Furina panicked.
Everyone withdrew?!
Should she withdraw too?
Remembering Yanfei's previous "send you to prison" energy—
She withdrew as well.
Thus, Furina's second divine trial ended in total failure.
Lesson learned:
If she ever wanted to judge gods again—
She'd need Yanfei on her side.
The chat exploded with admiration.
Helping the Anemo Archon last time.
Nearly sending the Hydro Archon to jail.
Now suppressing gods and sovereigns alike for the Geo Archon.
Forcing mass message withdrawals overnight.
Too strong.
Absolutely terrifying.
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
"Old man, impressive~"
"Didn't expect you to pull that move."
Venti winked.
"Likewise."
Zhongli smiled calmly.
Talent flourished in Liyue, after all.
Zhongli:
Yanfei, thank you.
Yanfei:
Your Excellency is too kind! Serving you is my honor!
Zhongli:
Public is public, private is private. As for payment… hm. I'll leave it at Wangsheng. You may collect it later.
Yanfei:
…Huh?
Hu Tao:
...
Hu Tao:
Is it too late for me to change my mind?
Laughter erupted.
She didn't sue him, and he immediately charged Wangsheng again.
As expected of him.
Zhongli:
Ahem. Then send it to the Northland Bank.
Hu Tao:
That works! Yanfei, did you hear that?
Yanfei:
No problem! I'll collect it later!
Lumine:
Tsk tsk—new wallet, very convenient~ (evil grin.jpg)
Yae Miko:
Even if the heavens fall, Tartaglia must pay. (evil grin.jpg)
Alice:
Tonight's spending—on me, Tartaglia! Everyone, have fun~
Venti:
OHHHH~
Tartaglia:
???
Pulcinella:
???
I truly thank you.
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
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