I hug my mum real tight, practically inhaling her familiar scent into my nose. She pulls away, smiling brightly.
"How are you, my dear?" She asks, running her hand through my hair.
"I'm fine, Mom."
She takes a look at me, a slight frown tugging at her lips. "Are you eating well? You lost some weight, didn't you?"
"Ma, don't tell me you already plan on stuffing him with food." Connor cuts in, stepping next to me.
My mom waves a dismissive hand at my brother. She chastises him in Mandarin, but Connor decides to wave her off and makes his way to the kitchen to greet Dad. I follow in suit, the smell of freshly steamed buns summoning me in an instant. I missed Dad's dumplings so much and I'm not lying when I say I could eat these pillowy goods every single day. I'm already drooling. Surely, Dad won't mind if I eat one.
A firm swat lands on my hand and I hiss, "Ow! Dad!"
He shakes his head with a huff. "Food isn't ready yet. Go help Connor and set up the table."
"Fine." I frown but make my way to the dining table anyway. My steps come to a halt when I see that Connor has pretty much finished setting up the table.
"Well, that was fast." I move to stand next to my brother, admiring the set of decorations he picked out. Connor is as efficient as always.
"Here," he whispers, shoving a half-eaten dumpling in my hand.
"Sweet!" I exclaim, popping the ball of goodness in my mouth. Same old Connor, always spoiling me, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I watch as Connor walks towards his old bedroom. I debate for only a second before I go after him. Preparations are all done and we're basically not allowed to be in the kitchen. It messes up the vibe, as Dad always likes to say it, so Connor and I stay in our old rooms until the guests arrive.
"Why are you following me?" Connor asks, raising an eyebrow as he shuts the door behind us. Normally, I would be in my own room, but I don't want to be left alone with my thoughts right now. A certain someone won't leave my mind.
"Hello? Earth to Charlie."
I snap my gaze to Connor, sighing. "Can't I hang out with you?"
"You can," he says as he takes a seat at his desk. "But you're not really here to hang out with me, are you?"
I hate how he sees right through me. Every time. "I just missed you, dear brother."
He snorts, clearly unamused. "Right. You never bother to text me, you little rascal. Even Luke does a better job at keeping me updated."
I perk up at that. "Since when do you talk to Luke?"
"Since always, but that doesn't matter right now," Connor deflects as always. "Is something going on? Is it university? Having a hard time finding friends now that Luke isn't with you?"
"I made plenty of friends," I grumble and plop down onto his bed.
"You have?"
Why does he sound so unconvinced? "Yeah."
A faint smile forms on Connor's lips. "That's good then."
We fall into a comfortable silence and for a while, Connor doesn't push. He knows something's up and he thinks it's only a matter of time before I spill. Usually, I'd tell him right away, but I can't do that this time. Because I don't even know what exactly is bothering me. I just know that Blake has been on my mind more than usual. Rightfully so. And he acts as if nothing happened. Blake treats me the same, but ever since that kiss… I can't think of him the same.
"Connor, how did you know you were in love with Anne?"
I catch my brother tense up and for a moment, I think he doesn't want to answer, seeing as he averts his eyes.
He breathes, "I guess I just knew."
"But how? What made you think she's the one?"
"I…" Connor trails off, almost hesitant. "She's not the one."
My eyes widen and I sit up so fast, my back cracks. "What? But you're going to marry her!"
My brother gives me a sad smile. "My marriage with Anne is strictly for business. I don't love her, Charlie. And she doesn't love me."
Well, this is the news of the century. It takes me a solid minute to find my voice, strained. "Do mom and dad know about this?"
Connor dips his head and I'm left utterly dumbfounded. I'm aware that my brother has always been a workaholic, taking over our Uncle's business as soon as he graduated, but I never expected that to extend to marriage. Sure, I never saw Anne and Connor be intimate together in public, but I simply thought they were keeping it professional. Anne is a PR agent and I heard from Connor that she'll be taking over a manager role soon. Both strive to do better at their work each and every day, so I thought they're naturally a great fit together. Turns out I don't know anything about my brother's love life at all.
"I'm sorry," I mutter. Because, quite frankly, I don't know what else to say.
Connor shakes his head, his expression solemn. "This is what I want."
"Is it really?"
He doesn't even hesitate. "It is."
Lunar New Year was lively as always. Dinner was chaos, but also enjoyable and filled with laughter. Mom and Dad are happy, which makes me happy. Connor was also enjoying himself, chumming with our cousins. I, on the other hand, rushed to my room as soon as the first guest started to leave.
I have a major headache and I didn't even get the chance to talk to Connor before he drove back home already. Our conversation earlier ended as soon as he revealed his arranged marriage and I didn't have the heart to bring up my problems. And even if I don't think I had the courage to tell him about Blake anyway.
Just then, my phone buzzes. Speaking of the devil.
Blake: "How is it going? Do you have time to call?"
I should say no and go to sleep, but something stops me. Hearing Blake's voice does sound nice right now. So without thinking much about it, I dial his number.
Blake picks up after the first beat. "That was quick."
I huff, "You're the one who wanted to call. What do you need?"
A beat of silence. "Nothing. I just wanted to hear your voice."
Same here. I clutch my chest, feeling the rapid beating against my palm. Blake is not even here, yet I'm afraid he'll hear how hard my heart is pounding. I need to calm down and luckily enough, Blake's voice is like a soothing balm. Lately, he's been calling me at night and I've been getting used to it. I wouldn't want this to change between us.
Yeah. This is fine. I shouldn't break my head over this any further.