My father's death both made me feel relieved and depressed. It made me unstable, the shell that was built up shattered slowly yet the image and memories of trying my best to fake the memories of having the best life with my father continued to run.
After all, he was the only one that was there for me despite his wrongdoings. "So, you hate or love him?" The child version of me asked, completely wanting to know the answer that I've bottled up for years.
"Both." I answered before explaining, "If it weren't for him… Then I would've been dead on the street, he hustled so many jobs to keep us alive and yet abused me to make me the perfect child for him…"
"That's funny." The child version of me mocked me before standing up, our surroundings immediately changing from the environment where I pretended to be a 'blank' to the environment when I started lashing out.
"You sure about him raising you right when you acted like him?" He asked as a memory surfaced.
An innocent freshman who pissed me off when I wasn't in a great mood before slamming them hard against the wall, bashing their head before punching them right in the guts before leaving them in the hallway while others ran away from my wrath.
"You may love him or hate him but he sure does make you just like him too."
More memories came to life as it showed the worst version and action that I took upon breaking when the supposedly royal king position of our school ticked me off, revealing my true power while ruling the entire school with my tyranny.
Another memory resurfaced again, this time, it was the day I had an intense argument with Sylvie. The words that left out of my mouth repeated over and over again, making my guilt and anger even more stronger than the sadness that I was supposed to feel after watching my childhood.
"Rei! Just let me help you!"
"I don't need help! For fxck sake! What would a slxt like you would understand me?!"
Tears started to fall even more, my regret becoming even more stronger as the next thing that I said out of my memory has pushed me over the edge.
"Stop it! I don't need your help! Whxre!"
I clenched my fists before punching the child version of me. "Are you done?! Are you fxcking done?! Showing me every mistake and trauma that I've got through?!" I asked before glaring at them as my prowess activated intensely.
It was a rhetorical question, obviously knowing what I wanted to seek for myself after being shown my past memories of trauma with my abuse, then the regret of almost becoming like my father by pushing away the person who kept on trying to reason with me.
The only difference was the fact that I accepted her and went for forgiveness so many times even when she had forgiven me after that.
"Yeah…" It muttered weakly before I started to wrap my hands around his neck, there was no uncontrollable rage in me anymore that disrupted my panicking and anxious state.
"Just need to know if you can do it…" The child version of me said, his intention was clear as the sky since I already knew what it meant.
"It's not that I can do it…" I paused before continuing after slamming them to the ground again. "Cause I will do it…" The statement that left my lips had no emotion behind it, it was just action and no feelings involved.
Pushing them down to the ground as the once manifested field of white roses soon changed into red spider lilies, every field turning from white to red almost instantly.
Despite having no more emotions and feelings at the current situation, the tears continued to flow down my face. Memories of my father's abuse, my childhood of being pushed aside then the incident of my irrational rage behaviour that pushed Sylvie so much.
I had one goal in mind…
To be stronger…
To no longer hesitate…
To take what needs to be done…
Even if I have to take another one's life…
Further than that, to make a bargain with the devil…
In front of me after finishing killing the previous me, I was staring right into the eyes of the 'Fallen'. "Alright. You do have guts, I'll tell you that… So, why come here rather than waking up?" They asked, their golden yellow eyes staring into mine.
"If you've read my thoughts already, then you should know it by now."
...…
"To think that he's been treated like that… How did he even choose to live until now?" Rinka muttered loudly after hearing the details from Keon, who had finished recalling every single information of Rei's childhood.
"It's a miracle that Rei is still sane after all that." Eunji said as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "You mean that he's been running with all that trauma while coping with it unconsciously without even knowing it…" she uttered while Sylvie was trying her best to hold herself back from crying.
Elliot had already punched the wall while Sho was in a deep thought, wondering if there was anything that he could do to support the male's mental health.
"I see… I'll arrange a new schedule for him to follow while allowing him to have time to recover." The headmaster stated before ending their discussion with Rei's mental health, the academy's new curriculum and regime, new management with the staff then lastly, Sylvie's current situation.
"The meeting is adjourned. Let us walk forward without any danger nor trouble in the way." Sho stated as he allowed them to leave.
Sylvie had already went on her way to visit Rei, wanting to take a look at him before heading to the dormitory shared with the two seniors who waited for her in the hallway.
She expected to see Rei still sleeping but was surprised when the latter was sitting straight as if he just woke up. "Sylvie?" He uttered weakly but the magenta haired girl could only let out a tear before dashing as she hugged him tightly, confusing the male but he didn't bother to ask as he did the same while holding her tightly.
"I'm sorry. For trying to leave you." Rei said while Sylvie shook her head, "It's alright. I'm here. I should've been there for you." The magenta haired girl responded as her cries had alerted Eunji and Rinka who were waiting outside had immediately entered the room.
The two seniors relaxed almost instantly as they let the two have their moment, one who was recovering with their long-term trauma or depression and one who was beginning to experience the harsh treatment as a 'blank'.
After visiting hours were concluded, Rei was once examined by Elliot and Eri who were careful to speak to him while assessing his well-being. He was listening to them but was remembering the details that Rei had done with the 'Fallen'.
...…
"What kind of offer do you have?" They asked while Rei matched their intensity from the gaze that they were sending towards each other, "To restore your former glory." The male said as the ancient being laughed.
"Really? Is that it? That's cute. I could kill you right now-"
Rei interrupted, "Yeah. But you haven't, which means that you are under an order from which you are currently looking forward to find the key or something that you still don't know of…" he smirked upon seeing the being flinch at the latter.
"Then that means you still don't know what kind of thing has restrained you for this." Rei stated as the 'Fallen' sighed before finally complying to the conditions that the latter was giving to him.
"So… is that applicable to you?" Rei asked while the ancient being rolled their eyes, "Yeah. A deal is a deal which is favourable and pleasurable enough for me." They responded before reaching out with their right hand.
A golden yellow flame coating their hands as they awaited Rei's response. "Alright. It's a deal." The latter held up to theirs as they both shook each other's hand while the flame glowed bright while a bright blue chain formed between his soul that he assumed upon seeing his scarlet red flame while a golden yellow flame was connected with it.
"Let's see how interesting our road is to whatever place we go to." The ancient being said before Rei nodded his head as he walked away, seemingly to wake himself up as he had a lot of preparation that he needed to do in under a month or two. Maybe three months in total if he was able to achieve what he wanted for his goal.
"Let's see if you're worthy from how Ethereal and legends had described you to be…" Rei uttered to himself before waking up as he first checked on his current state while immediately trying to reassure Sylvie.
...…
Rei was resting at the infirmary bed, not asleep but was checking his spiritual energy if it was enough to try experimenting for a bit before unleashing the stockpile energy that became a small slash although it wasn't enough to cut something down.
"Looks like I have work to do after getting out of here soon." He muttered to himself before finally letting himself sleep.
...…
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