Sitting beside Little Nell in the cab, Richard was struggling to keep his eyes open. The sleepless nights had finally caught up to him. Of course they did, he was after all a hard-working middle-class man who struggled to make ends meet. But that wasn't the reason for his insomnia. It was that he still cared for Jane and couldn't stop thinking about her. After all that had happened, he still loved her and, more strangely, pitied her. This gave him sleepless nights where he'd imagine her in the white room, chained up, swearing like a rapper on drugs.
Richard would like to imagine himself as tough as he used to be, and tried to ignore his own lethargy that had replaced his youthful energy. He still thought about her: the lovely pink hair with rabbit ribbon, her long dress that used to sweep the ground as she majestically walked around; her perfect eye-liner which gave way to a gaze that stole his heart.
The eyes… He never imagined those same eyes could look at him the way they did back then:
"You really liked the ring, didn't you? You've been staring at it for 2 days now."
She hadn't replied, but just looked at him - blankly. Maybe it wasn't blank. Maybe it's just him trying to ignore the real emotion behind those eyes.
"Our girl is so adorable, isn't she? As beautiful as you are."
She wouldn't reply, but looked at him blankly.
"Headin' to work, honey. I'll be a bit late today."
She didn't reply, only threw him a glance that is still vivid to him today, the glance that made his skin crawl with guilt for a crime he didn't do–
The cab stopped. Richard blinked into the real world and gently picked Little Nell, placing her down on the ground. She kissed him on the forehead and ran into the daycare screaming a friend's name. Richard smiled.
He really should stop throwing garbage into his mental garden. Heck, it would be fine by him if it was a garden, but it is now a violent forest that has crushed through the sky and gone beyond control.
Richard tsk-ed. Why is he thinking about all these now! Afterall, he didn't take a leave to brood; the excuse was 'taking a mental health break'.
After instructing the cab driver to go to "the biggest house in the city", he called and confirmed with Eve that he would be there in 10 minutes. He switched off his phone and had to stand to keep the phone in his back pocket. And before he knew, the past had already forced its way in…
"That's why you fucking looked at me like that! How, how could you even think of me like that? I married you and raised a child." Richard's voice cracked.
"I love you dear, can't you see? L-look at me" He held her hand, "What even made you remotely think, that… That I'm having an affair with Eve. She is my childhood friend, Jane. I never even saw her like that!"
Jane pulled her hand out of his. She looked at him, tears filling her eyes. "You have no idea how I feel." She shoved him.
"Now that we made The Ore, you don't need me. Y-you used me for it, and I saw you two snogging the fuck out of eachother-"
"-That was for the movie! You know it-"
"-FUCK YOU! Fuck you, bitch." She hit a glass off the table, it fell and broke into pieces. "Movie, my ass!
"Manipulative shit. You pretend like you don't notice. Even when we go to parties, your saintly friends ask who I am." She spat at his feet.
Richard was lost for words, "Manipulative. Oh" He clapped, "I used you!" He clapped again. Richard turned around and went to the doorway. "When you come back to your senses, and out of your paranoia, I will return." Richard went outside and lifted Little Nell who had been playing alone with stones. Nell looked at her papa and fell silent at once.
"Don't return! I'll give your 'friend' a lesson." Jane howled. Nell glanced at mommy then back to papa who suddenly had caught a cold. Richard walked straight ahead, not turning to look back once.
Richard had thought to live in an apartment for the day; he hadn't just abandoned Jane. He wanted her to know how much he loved her and that her doubting him infuriated him. He went on thinking over what just happened and tried to calm himself with his thoughts. "I get angry if you doubt me — cuz I trust you. I want you to see that." He wanted to stay away for one day till she would call him back. If not, he could keep his ego aside for her and call her to apologize. Maybe swear on God that he'd never do such a thing. That was his plan.
But when in the morning he heard that the largest house in the city had nearly caught a deadly fire, he cried for hours. Nell cried too, unable to see her papa in that state. He hugged Little Nell tightly, "I'm sorry dear. I'm sorry."
Then, Richard pulled himself together for her, and he quietly filed for divorce.
The cab halted. Though it took him some time to realize that, he opened the door and climbed out. Looking at the 3-storeyed glass house in front of him, he saw that it had every sign of an ongoing party.
The coloured lights formed the face of Eve and wrote "HB CELEBRATED LIGHTLY" above her head. The roof had rectangular holes, through which money was uniformly falling.
That had to be fake, he thought, not because Eve had so much respect for it, but because the Colonel was also inside. Richard strode ahead to meet the guard at the door who didn't even bother asking for the invitation card.
The guard grinned at him.
"Hello, Robbie!" Richard said, "Had your drink?"
"No no, Rich. I'm the guard, don't forget that. I'd love to keep my job now!"
Richard snorted out a laugh and opened the door. As he crossed the doorway, memory slipped in – unchanged, untouched by time.
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