"So what do we do now?"
Ethan was speechless.
The Saint of Formations shrugged helplessly.
"I can't do anything about it either. There are always some sneaky thieves stealing my chess pieces. Just a moment ago, some bastard secretly sent in a bunch of Ghost Hands and stole one of my cannons and one of my horses. It really pisses me off."
"I don't know where that little thief got some kind of lightning-proof treasure, but it actually blocked my lightning strikes."
"If I ever catch him again, I'll strike him dead."
"..."
Ethan had originally wanted to take out the black horse to strengthen his side.
But after hearing what the Saint of Formations said, he quietly put the piece away again. The Ghost Hands were lightning-proof, but he wasn't.
Besides... showing off stolen goods right in front of the victim really was a bit too much.
"Charlie."
Not daring to take out the stolen piece, Ethan quietly asked Charlie, "With one horse and a pair of elephants missing, can we still win?"
Bzz!
"It'll... be difficult," Charlie seemed to be affected by the chessboard's magnetic field, and his voice became intermittent, "I just... simulated it. The Saint of Formations is extremely skilled. I've already simulated hundreds of games against him."
"With what we have now, missing a horse and a pair of elephants, it's almost impossible to beat him."
"If we had just one more elephant, I'd be confident we could win."
"Alright," Ethan nodded, "Then I'll ask."
No matter what you were doing...
The biggest taboo was amateurs telling professionals how to do their job. Whenever it was something he didn't understand or wasn't good at, he would leave it to someone who knew what they were doing.
"Senior Saint of Formations!"
Ethan shouted across the board, "I know we're both missing three pieces, but I'm definitely at a disadvantage without my pair of elephants."
"How about lending me one elephant?"
"Or we switch sides. I'll take White, and you take Black. How about that?"
"Of course...", The Saint of Formations stood up, "No!"
Ethan frowned.
"Why?"
"I, the Saint of Formations, have always conducted myself with integrity. I can only be White! Don't even think about blackening my name," the Saint of Formations said with complete seriousness, making a terrible joke, "But if you want more pieces, that's not impossible."
Ethan immediately cupped his fists, "Please enlighten me!"
"Heh! It's simple."
The Saint of Formations lifted the bronze sword resting on the ground and pointed its tip at Ethan.
"Don't you happen to have a treasure carrying a soul on you? Put it on the elephant's position. I'll turn it into a chess piece, and that'll solve the problem."
Bzz~ Bzz~ Bzz-bzz-bzz~
Charlie immediately sounded like he was short-circuiting, frantically making crackling noises as he said, "Lord Ethan! You promised me that once I finished predicting a hundred things, you'd set me free."
"You can't turn me into a chess piece! Otherwise, I'll really be trapped here forever."
"And I'm the only one who can help you win this game!"
"If I become an elephant, I won't even be able to talk!"
"Lord Ethan, please!"
Charlie begged repeatedly.
Just then, the Scam-God Statue, which had been pretending to be dead all this time, suddenly spoke.
["Who says an elephant can't talk? Elephant also means minister. In Chinese chess, the elephant serves as an advisor. I think you're perfect for the role."]
"Bullshit!", Charlie, usually a refined and polite man, was driven into swearing by the Scam-God Statue, "I think you're the perfect one. Tell me, what have you ever done to help Lord Ethan? All you ever do is stand there making sarcastic comments. You're the most useless thing here."
"That makes a lot of sense," Ethan rubbed his chin, "I also think this Scam-God Statue isn't very useful. Let's turn it into the elephant instead."
["Nonsense! Who says I'm useless?",] The Scam-God Statue hurriedly defended itself, ["I'm much better at predictions than Charlie! And I can do far more than predict a hundred things. At worst, I just won't charge you anymore!"]
["And even though I don't know Chinese chess, that doesn't matter."]
["As long as that old man over there makes one move, I can simulate it a thousand times, ten thousand times, and pick the move that's best for us. Wouldn't that guarantee victory?"]
"Oh?"
Ethan looked down at the Scam-God Statue.
"So now you're suddenly useful? Why didn't you say that before?"
["Why would I say anything if there was nothing in it for me?"]
"See? That's exactly why you're a Scam-God Statue."
Ethan simply couldn't trust it.
Ever since obtaining the first fragment of it, he'd been getting tricked over and over. If not for the Scam-God Statue, he never would have ended up in the Goblin Underground Maze, barely escaping with his life.
Compared to the Scam-God Statue, the Charlie Brand radio was much more useful for now.
"..."
The Scam-God Statue fell silent.
But when Ethan walked toward the elephant's position, it suddenly cried out again.
["I don't want to become a chess piece! Please, I really don't want to become a chess piece."]
"You weren't human to begin with," Ethan said helplessly, "So does it really matter what you become?"
["I may not have been human, but I'm still a divine statue, a divine statue worshipped by countless people! If I become a chess piece, who'll respect me anymore? Who'll burn incense for me? Who'll offer me energy?"], the Scam-God Statue shouted excitedly, ["Anyway, I don't want to become a chess piece! No matter what, I don't want to become a chess piece!"]
However...
Ethan ignored it.
He took the Scam-God Statue out from his clothes, then slowly crouched down, preparing to place it on the elephant's square.
[T/N: Consider joining P@treon to keep the stories going. Enjoy~]