Chapter 87 — We All Owe Mario Balotelli an Apology
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The Bayern fans at Allianz Arena were hoping Arjen Robben could "eat" Xia Qi alive again.
Robben felt it would be difficult, but he still wanted to try.
The wing duel began amid the cheers.
Robben's step frequency was high: sprinting at times, sudden stops at others, straight runs, feints, changes of direction...
But no matter how hard he tried, Xia Qi was always within three steps of him, as if there were a mirror three steps ahead and Xia Qi was the reflection.
Robben was firmly shepherded out wide.
They tangled from the center circle all the way to the right flank of the box, then to the byline — Robben lost.
Robben decided to force an inside cut. After two pedal-step feints, he suddenly made a pass-looking motion toward Toni Kroos;
if Xia Qi's attention wavered even slightly, Robben would use that moment to cut inside once he retracted his foot — a complete, cohesive sequence.
But unknown to Robben, Xia Qi had been waiting for exactly that opportunity.
Previously, Robben had been walking and stopping, with the ball kept between his feet so Xia Qi had no chance to step in.
Now Robben faked a pass. To sell the deception, he had to go through the full leg lift; the ball would leave the protection of both feet and sit to one side of his body.
That moment, when the ball was no longer safely between his feet, turned the feint into a vulnerability.
In a flash,
Xia Qi moved like lightning. When Robben lifted his leg for the "fake pass," Xia Qi poked in. At the moment his toe made contact he converted the poke into a controlled trap, boosting speed by +5%, then with a pull another +5%.
Play switched instantly from defense to attack!
"Beautiful!"
"A Nesta-like elegant interception!"
"Xia Qi's tackle was as pure as fresh water, unsullied by human dust — it reminds me of the graceful defender Alessandro Nesta."
"This is not ordinary defending but football art. In an age when back lines rely increasingly on brute strength, this kind of artistic defending has almost vanished."
"So tonight I shout: elegance never goes out of style!"
On the pitch, after winning the ball Xia Qi immediately sprinted forward. His speed was huge — in less than three seconds he tore through Bastian Schweinsteiger — this left just two center-backs between him and goal.
(When Bayern attack, they like both full-backs to push forward and join the attack.)
Jérôme Boateng came at Xia Qi without hesitation — he feared Xia Qi would attempt a long shot from thirty-odd meters out.
Boateng's defense was correct.
A bit later, Xia Qi really might have unleashed a world-class screamer.
Al chose to pass.
In counter-attacking football speed is key!
Al's choice, though disappointing to Arsenal fans, was rational and calm. On the sidelines Jupp Heynckes couldn't help asking his assistant: "How old is that kid?"
"A bit over 18."
"To play with such a steady style at that age is unbelievable."
Mario Balotelli received the ball and drove it toward Dante. He nudged the ball to the right with his right foot while leaning his body to the right.
Dante shifted his center to the left, and Balotelli used the inside of his right foot to push the ball left; his left foot then dragged it through — a right-to-left lateral feint.
Dante was prepared and shifted back.
In the normal script Balotelli would feint again, trying to bamboozle Dante until Dante fell.
But Balotelli isn't normal.
He ran at Dante while still in control of the ball.
Dante panicked; his balance was off and if Balotelli hit him cleanly the gate would open.
Boateng was alarmed and lunged at Balotelli.
In the blink of an eye, Dante did the best thing available.
He threw himself into Balotelli, using everything he had — he couldn't defend him cleanly.
Now he could only try to buy time for his partner.
The strategy worked.
Balotelli lost his one-on-one opportunity with Manuel Neuer; Dante bought Boateng time and Boateng recovered.
Balotelli's football IQ showed again.
Staggering, instead of trying to steady and shoot, he slid the ball across.
Under normal circumstances that move would be poor.
But at that moment it was brilliant!
Bayern were hit on the break and the penalty area was empty!
Dante went down, Boateng was back, and the only man who could contest Xia Qi for the ball was the fifth defender — Manuel Neuer.
Both rushed for the ball.
Neuer saw Xia Qi was faster and slid with a full-stretch "I"-shaped dive toward Xia Qi.
At that moment the safest shot would have been a chip, but the two were too close and there was no space to lift it.
Options were to dribble horizontally around the keeper — but Boateng was there — or to gamble on a toe-poke and out-speed Neuer with a strike!
Al chose to complete the shot Balotelli had started.
Right foot — he flicked the ball with the heel behind him, lifting the ball up behind his body roughly to waist height.
After pulling his foot back, he then drove both feet downward with force and launched himself forward. His head dipped as if he had tripped, and his legs naturally kicked upward. With his right heel he struck the ball in free-fall.
The ball screamed toward an unguarded goal!
"Holy shit!"
Zhan Jun spoke what everyone was thinking.
Boateng and Neuer stood stunned, watching Xia Qi, a thousand curses racing through their minds...
Balotelli's eyes shone. He surged in from the side and flung himself onto Xia Qi.
Xia Qi had intended to leave three marks at Allianz Arena, but before he could he was pinned beneath Balotelli.
"How did you do that?"
"Quick, teach me."
Then Jack Wilshere, Mikel Arteta... they all piled on.
"Well done. Not only did we score, we humiliated them."
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On the touchline Arsène Wenger buried his face in his hands.
Pat Rice comforted him: "There is a thin line between genius and madness. Newton had schizophrenia, Pushkin had manic depression..."
"We think Xia Qi is odd. Maybe his seven-move dribble is what he thinks safest. So far, his unorthodox methods haven't produced mistakes."
Beside them Heynckes shouted, "Is he playing like this because it's safer or just to show off?"
The assistant shrugged and spread his hands, "Who knows? Anyway, that non-human goal — he's scored quite a few like this."
"Tell Karl [Rummenigge] to send someone to contact that boy — quickly. Hope Florentino [Pérez] isn't watching tonight."
"Arsenal wouldn't—"
"He's already sold three captains... you call now."
Online:
[Xia Qi's goal was beautiful, but why are my brain's images all of Balotelli's stunned face?]
[Do we all owe Mario Balotelli an apology?]
[Balotelli and Xia Qi are really like Zhuge Liang and Pang Tong — back then Zhuge Liang divided the land in three, Pang Tong only got a county. Does tonight remind you of that pair?]
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1:3!
The match resumed and soon the whistle blew for the end of the first half.
During the interval, Bayern fans were still worried but the singing at Allianz Arena never stopped — this is a hell of a stadium; they are forever the team's strongest support.
The 15-minute half-time passed quickly.
Neither side made changes, but when the second half began it was clear Bayern had changed tactics.
They purposely pressed Arsenal high — a move often used by Dortmund in the Bundesliga, borrowed by Heynckes.
Arsenal was a top-heavy team; Klopp's trick suited them well.
In the second half Arsenal held the ball.
Bayern, buoyed by their fans, pressed hard, and ironically the two-goal-leading Arsenal became unsure of how to play.
They got flustered; the noise and Bayern's all-or-nothing aura unnerved them.
Two minutes later, when Wilshere tried to break forward, he lost the ball.
Bayern countered, again targeting Robben's zone.
Xia Qi shepherded Robben and the ball all the way to the corner flag; Al miscalculated again — it couldn't predict human "meanness" that tricks for the ball.
Robben at the corner nudged the ball into Xia Qi's feet and it bounced out over the line.
Bayern earned the first corner of the second half.
Xia Qi hoped one day a patch could be activated to guard against trick penalties and corners... then everything would be perfect.
Al ignored Xia Qi's self-amusement and returned to defend the box.
In Arsenal's penalty area, Mikel Arteta and Mario Mandžukić were tugging and jostling — a normal scene.
Kroos whipped in the right-side corner. Mandžukić charged to the back post and fell.
Italian referee Daniele Orsato decisively blew his whistle and awarded a penalty.
"Ah! A penalty??"
Wenger immediately sprinted toward the fourth official... fuck! Leading by so much, these rotten bugs are looking to balance things out...
Arteta, penalized, had a face full of disbelief — he couldn't believe that the big Mandžukić would go down from a tug, nor that such an obvious simulation could succeed.
Referee Orsato pointed out Arteta had a pulling motion on his arms.
Arteta became animated and shouted, "Have you seen his weight? Think of Beckham and Simeone."
At the 1998 World Cup the Danish whistleblower Peter Mikkelsen had a very high physical standard of judgment.
He thought Beckham's little flick on the ground could topple an almost-1.9m Simeone like a bowling pin and issued a red card that ended Beckham and England's World Cup journey.
Tonight it was similar — Arteta did have some extra hand movement.
But Mandžukić is more like the paper figure that Simeone once seemed — the dive was obvious.
Seeing Arteta getting worked up, Santi Cazorla immediately covered his mouth: "You're the captain! Do you want to miss the next match?"
Arsenal's midfield was soft to begin with; if Arteta were missing, it would be unimaginable...
Pat Rice surged onto the pitch yelling; Wenger gave up arguing with the fourth official and went to the touchline to urge calm.
The more Arsenal protested, the more Bayern's fans egged them on.
Roars and applause at Allianz — the stadium thundered...
Bayern fans, trailing by two goals, even started a Mexican wave...
They wanted to make Arsenal feel as miserable as possible!
Heynckes watched Arteta walk silently toward the center circle and sighed.
If in the first leg Arsenal had been knocked back, even if Bayern lost tonight they'd have had a better chance to progress.
What a pity!
Heynckes clicked his tongue in regret — the Italian referee wasn't as cold-hearted as the Dane.
The Bayern forwards huddled and after a quick discussion Mandžukić stood at the penalty spot.
Now Heynckes was unhappy — the primary penalty taker at Bayern was Thomas Müller.
Everyone knows Müller is a simple, carefree sort, and naturally the best penalty taker — he does any penalty without pressure.
But Mandžukić had earned the penalty and patiently persuaded Müller.
Emiliano Martínez stepped forward and used that trick again.
He walked up, shook hands with Mandžukić, chatted a bit, and when the referee reminded them to step back he turned to check the ball's placement.
Back on his line Martínez bounced twice, then bent slightly and spread his arms, ready.
For a penalty the keeper bears more psychological pressure than the taker, but their expressions were inverted — Mandžukić looked grim while Martínez was relaxed.
Mandžukić felt like the village's hope; the whole stadium seemed focused on him. The pressure cemented in his chest.
Actually, Bayern's fans were relaxed — penalties are more often scored than missed.
Meanwhile Arsenal fans watching on TV closed their eyes; Wenger did as well.
Beep!
The whistle!
Mandžukić ran up, hesitated a step, then struck!
The ball was hit to the left!
Martínez's reaction was world-class. Mandžukić faltered and braked.
Had it been anyone else that hesitation would have ruined the rhythm.
But as Mandžukić struck the ball, Martínez also quickly pushed off and dived.
Mandžukić's penalty relied on that subtle pause; the shot's angle was not that wicked and was within Martínez's reach.
Martínez punched the ball away with both fists.
"Martínez!"
"Arsenal's fourth-choice keeper made a world-class save!"
"This is a world-class save."
The punched ball was hoofed away by an onrushing cluster of Arsenal players and cleared up into the stands. Who benefited? No one knows.
After the crisis was resolved Arsenal's players rushed to Martínez, who on the goal line celebrated with an intentionally stiff disco-style twist...
On the side Wenger opened his eyes when he heard Pat Rice cheering, confirmed the save, and joined the substitutes in celebration.
Heynckes angrily threw his notebook to the ground; he thought Mandžukić should not have taken the spot kick.
Especially when trailing, responsibility on the taker was large.
A carefree natural like Müller is the usual first choice.
For a moment the song and the wave at Allianz Arena were paused.
Many fans held their heads in disbelief. Although it was too early to talk about elimination, some fragile female fans had tears in their eyes...
Online:
[This Arsenal season has some depth! This Martínez is from Arsenal's academy.]
[This so-called big club has kept some hidden goods in the pantry — quite normal.]
[Young players replacing old stars happens quickly. If Martínez keeps producing highlights, even when Szczęsny returns from injury he might not easily regain the number one spot.]
[If this Arsenal doesn't sell its players, they might revive...]
(END CHAPTER)
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