When the sun reached its zenith, Verd lay there, tormented by the sunlight hitting his eyes. Harsh, white light pierced through the gaps between the stones and fell on his face in golden streaks, cutting his eyelids, forcing him to squint. Verd lay there, eyes closed, feeling his body slowly returning to him. His side ached with a dull, throbbing pain. His shoulder, where the bird's claw had torn the skin, pulsed with a steady, viscous rhythm. His fingers, which had gripped the spear all night, were numb and wouldn't straighten, and he felt the shaft had grown into his palm, become part of his body. Like a second skin, like bone, like something he couldn't do without now.
Arktia sat at the entrance to the cave. Her back was straight, her hands folded on her knees, her face turned toward the light. She sat as if she hadn't moved all night, as if she had grown into the stone, just as he had grown into the spear. He didn't know if she had slept. Probably not, because he had never seen her sleep.
-Good morning, - Verd said.
Arktia looked at him and said nothing, only nodded. He approached and sat down beside her. His body still ached after all those exhausting days when he had risked his life. His vertebrae cracked, and the sound was dry and old, as if he weren't a man but a tree rotting while standing.
Without looking at him, the girl handed him the flask of water. His fingers slid over the warm metal, and he thought she must have held that flask all night. To his surprise, the water was cold, almost icy. It ran down his chin, dripped onto his chest, onto his clothes, and he felt the cold spreading through his body, washing away the remnants of sleep, returning him to this world.
-How do you feel? - she asked.
-Terrible, - Verd answered quickly. - I thought that fight with the centipede would be the worst. Who knew that after that you'd torture me for the whole next week. - He looked at her with tired eyes, and at that moment his gaze resembled that of a dead man.
-You'll know better than to let your hands wander.
Indeed, compared to the battle with the centipede, the previous week had been much harder. For three days in a row, almost without rest, Verd dodged stones that Arktia threw at him. Then two days learning to survive when a whole horde of monsters chased him. In the last few days, she made him strike rocks and do pull-ups over a lake of lava. The latter was only a punishment for him saying he didn't like it.
During that week, Verd realized that arguing with her was more expensive than it was worth. So he created a rule for himself: don't argue with her until they reached civilization and he became a little stronger. And then somehow run away from her.
'It's all because of that spirit! I didn't even do anything!'
-You just dodged poorly, - she said.
-I don't have a second hand to grab the rope with, - he answered calmly.
-As long as you have one hand, or at least a leg, that's enough.
As much as he wanted to respond, he chose to hold back. He just looked at her, feeling his body ache.
-By the way, why didn't you wake me up like usual?
Instead of answering, Arktia abruptly stood up.
-Get ready, we're leaving.
She said it as if they hadn't been sitting here in complete silence for half a day. As if he hadn't woken up just a few minutes ago. As if he didn't have a thousand questions she had again left unanswered.
'She's completely unpredictable. It's a little unsettling...'
***
They came out to an open area where the stones formed a flat platform, and the sun stood directly overhead. Arktia stopped and turned to him.
-Sit down, - she said.
'Sit down? Right here?'
He sat on a flat stone. Arktia sat across from him.
-Today... - Arktia hesitated for a second, not knowing whether she should do this now. - You'll try to form a core.
Verd froze. He had waited for this day, feared it, wanted it. There were so many emotions inside him that he didn't know what he was feeling right now.
-Now? - he asked.
-Now.
She paused, looking into his eyes, as if checking whether he was ready.
-Listen carefully, - she said. - The core is not just a clot of energy. It's the crystallization of your will. Your "self." If you don't know who you are, the core won't form. It will crumble like sand. And with it, you will crumble.
Verd grew more anxious and clenched his fists.
-Of course, forming it is difficult, but I'll tell you something, - she began slowly. - Remember three rules. First: don't fight. The core isn't taken by force. It comes on its own. Second: don't be afraid, or fear will block everything. Third: don't try to take more than you can hold. If you feel the power slipping out of control, just let go. Better not to form a core today than to become empty forever.
He nodded. His throat was dry, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, but he nodded.
-Close your eyes, - she said.
Verd obeyed immediately.
-Breathe. Not with your chest, with your belly. Do you feel the air passing through you? How it fills your lungs, how it comes back out?
He felt that the air was dry, hot, it burned his throat, but he breathed evenly, using the breathing technique she had taught him.
-Now imagine there's a place inside you. Empty. A quiet room where no one has ever been. You're standing in it. What do you see?
He saw darkness. Only darkness. Emptiness that pressed down, that waited, that was everywhere. He stood in it, and it looked at him.
-Nothing, - he said.
-That's normal. Don't rush. Just stand, look, and wait.
He stood. In the darkness. In the emptiness. In the silence that was so dense he could hear his own heartbeat. It was loud, heavy, it filled all the space.
-I don't see anything, - he said.
-Don't look. Just be.
He tried. Stood, didn't move, didn't breathe. And suddenly he felt warmth. Not the one from the spear. Another one. It came from his chest, from the very heart, and he felt it spreading through his body, like blood, like water, like life.
'I feel it...'
The warmth grew stronger, pulsing in time with his heartbeat, and he thought this was it. What he had been searching for. What had been waiting for him all this time. He reached out to it. And it responded. But at that moment, he appeared beside him.
A black silhouette without a face. Without eyes. Without a mouth. Just a shadow that stood and watched. Verd didn't know how he knew it was watching. But he knew. The silhouette didn't move. Didn't speak. Just stood. But its presence was heavy, pressing. It filled the darkness, pushed out the warmth, pushed out him himself. Along with this, he felt something familiar, like the moment when someone's hands had rested on his shoulders. Verd tried to step back, but couldn't. Tried to open his eyes, another failure. Tried to call Arktia. Couldn't. The silhouette stepped closer. And the warmth inside him exploded.
He felt spiritual energy tearing out, burning his veins, filling his entire body, every cell, every bone. There was too much of it.
At the moment when his entire inner world began to slip from under his feet, the black silhouette appeared beside him and placed its palm on his chest.
And then Verd opened his eyes.
The world was swimming. Everything was blurry, unclear, as if he were looking through muddy water. He felt his body shaking, something hot flowing from his mouth, someone holding him and not letting him fall.
-Verd, - a voice said. - Verd, look at me.
He tried to focus. Before him was Arktia's face, holding some kind of flask in her hand.
-Can you hear me? - she asked.
Verd wanted to answer, but instead of words, blood burst from his mouth. Hot, salty, it ran down his chin, dripped onto her hands, onto her clothes.
-Don't say anything, - she said. - Just breathe.
She held him. Her hands were unusually warm, and he couldn't even believe they belonged to her.
'Why am I so unlucky...'
***
Verd woke up to someone wiping his face. The cloth was cold, damp, and he felt it sliding across his cheeks, his lips, his neck.
-Don't move, - Arktia said.
He didn't move, not because he obeyed, but simply because he couldn't. His body was alien, heavy, it wouldn't obey. He lay on something soft, probably a cloak, and stared at the ceiling of the cave.
-What happened? - he whispered. His voice was hoarse, alien.
-You lost control. I told you not to try if you couldn't.
He turned his head. She sat beside him, on her knees, her hands covered in blood.
-I didn't try, - his voice was hoarse, and every word came with difficulty. - I did everything you said.
Arktia didn't answer, she sat and looked at her hands. Verd didn't know if he should tell her about what happened. After thinking a little more, he decided to trust her.
-There was something else there, - he said. - Actually, someone... Some kind of black silhouette.
Arktia immediately raised her head and widened her eyes.
-At first everything was normal, - Verd continued. - But when he took a step toward me, the amount of spiritual energy suddenly increased several times.
Arktia was silent. For a long time. So long that he began to regret having said it.
-Have you seen him before? - she asked.
-In that world when I took the spear. There were someone's hands. I didn't see a face. But the feeling was similar.
Verd watched Arktia's face. Even though she didn't show emotions, she tried not to look at him and looked away.
-Sleep, - she said.
-But I...
-Sleep, - she repeated.
Her voice was calm, steady, and he suddenly realized he couldn't argue. Not now.
Verd closed his eyes. The cloth touched his face again, wiping away the blood.
-Arktia. Are you angry?
She didn't answer. Just kept wiping his face, and he felt the cloth sliding across his cheeks, his lips, his neck.
-No, - she said at last.
-Does my master like to lie?
-Say one more word and I'll rip out your tongue.
He wanted to say something else, but couldn't. Darkness crept up to his eyes, and he fell into sleep.