As Edward saw the young boy in front of him get clocked in the head by Ha-Yoon's fist, he finally had enough with the girl's envy and reacted with instinct. Punching his old companion.
"What is wrong with you?! What's wrong with me, you're the problem!"
They each said at the same time, Ha-Yoon laying on the ground and getting up while Edward was still standing. The two walked away from each other, Edward sat near Johan while Ha-Yoon went back to her spot in the room.
A while later, Laureano came back, eating a muffle and carrying a bag. Sofi, right behind, carried a corpse while eating a cookie.
'I forget to hide the body.'
Edward thought as he looked at the corpse of the vampiric boy that Johan killed.
"Edward."
Laureano said
"Who killed the kid?"
Laureano said as he placed down the bag on the counter.
"It was m–"
"It was Johan."
Ha-Yoon interrupted Edward as he planned to take the blame.
Laureano's eyes widened for a moment before going back to normal looking at Johan who was beside Edward, currently laying down on the bed and looking at the ceiling with a dazed expression.
"I didn't see anything until it was too late. But from the fact he is in shock, had multiple wounds, and his opponent was a rogue, I'm guessing he was attacked and defended himself. It was merely muscle memory from training, a mistake."
Edward said as he looked at Laureano.
"I see you're taking regret for your own actions from a few months ago."
Sofi said right before Laureano covered her mouth.
"She might be disrespectful."
"I know."
Edward replied to Laureano though there was a little bit of annoyance in his reply.
The room fell silent before Laureano took a glance at Johan, who was doing better than he thought. At least from what he could see and use against. He still remembered his first kill three years ago, when he was 16. He had gotten to a fight between a group of thugs. He was only rank 2 so he thought he was stronger than them, if enough fought him at the same time, he would lose.
It was near the end of the fight. Where one of them went to stab him. He had decided to pull out his own knife. He dodged the attack and stabbed into the stomach of the guy. At this point, he didn't care about anything more than his own life. He was tried, beaten, and cut up. So he didn't think. It wasn't until later on, after he rested that he finally had time to think.
After that he had broken down and even started to get panic attacks. So compared to Johan who was at most in shock and guilty sorrow, he seemed a bit more normal. Of course unlike Johan, he wasn't to sleep near his dad's corpse nor forced to feel what being cut up felt like.
So Laureano who never had a traumatic event until then versus Johan who had, it was easy to understand the difference in reaction. Though if it did seem messed up.
"You two,"
He said with a pause as he looked at Ed and Ha,
"Just go out and have some fun.
Sofi take care of them."
"Find."
She said before taking a box of strawberry shortcake popsulcers, opening it up, taking one out.
"When did you start liking strawberry?"
Ed asked as he looked at the scene.
"Since I decided to."
A few moments later, Laureano and Johan were left in the room alone.
"Johan. I know how it feels."
"I know, but it doesn't make any difference."
"Did you want to kill him?"
"No."
"Did you wish harm on him?"
"No."
"So why are you guilty?"
"Because I ended a life.
He said as he sat up. He left arm trembling slightly.
"Listen, God says do not murder and in Matthew five He says not to wish harm on others for it is equal to murder. Now people in the Bible have killed but they never wished for their victims to die. It was simply out of necessity.
Therefore killing someone is not a sin. In fact even the word used in the bible means this. רָצַח or Ratsach means to purposely end the life of someone, do it out of malice, or do it without a good reason.
While נָכָה or Nakah means to strike someone down. And in times when someone killed another to protect themselves or others in times of war without malice, it the latter instead of the former. Meaning unless you purposely killed him out of malice or a cold dislike of like, you didn't sin against God nor against the boy. Because you didn't do evil, in fact you did what was expected."
Laureano explained as he looked at the boy. His words calm and gently carry an air of a mature older brother or young father.
"Yeah but, it didn't feel right."
"It shouldn't. Taking a life is hard and if you can avoid it, then do so. But that doesn't change the fact you didn't do anything wrong."
Johan stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking:
"I guess I can understand my dad."
"Yeah. People don't learn things until they experience them. So I recommend avoiding killing. Avoid fighting in general unless you're forced to. If you do avoid kill shots but make sure to end the fight as first as possible without killing them or giving them injuries that would lead them to death. But to do that you have to be faster, stronger, and more skilled. So work hard and be better. Remember God and His ways."
"I guess the feeling doesn't go away."
Johan asked as he looked at the sky outside. The white sun, shining brightly in the sky."
"Yeah no, honestly the best advice I have is to keep your father's ideology on it. Which to avoid conflicts when you have the chance and only to fight to protect yourself or others from harm. Making sure to use the appropriate amount of violence necessary for the situation. And lastly, to only kill as a last resort, to where if you don't, you, or others will die."
Johan remained silent for a few seconds before replying.
"Ok."
It was silent for a few seconds before Laureano spoke up.
"Alright just remember, it's not your fault, do better, and be better." He got up and walked towards the door before continuing.
"Run away when you get a chance but if you are forced to kill, don't take it to heart. Be sad for them but don't their death cause your own. If you want something sweet there's some ice cream in that bag. If you aren't going to eat, put it in the fridge in about two minutes."
Laureano finished before exiting the room. Johan laid back on the bed, it didn't take long before he remembered the feeling of chopping through someone's neck. The memory caused his arm to shake.
"No, it's not my fault. I didn't do anything wrong. I just defended myself. I didn't sin!"
He yelled as he looked at the corpse of his victim.
"It's your fault, you attacked me, I just responded like how people are might to. God doesn't hate me but He must hate you, you died trying to murder me. So you died in sin but I'm, not only did I not do wrong but It wasn't my fault."
He said as he laid back on the bed.
A few moments later, he suddenly punched the bed and got up.
A walked towards the corpse, its eyes wide open. He grabbed his blade and unsheathed it.
He shakily held it before getting into a fighting stance and lifting it up to do a pulling cut. He looked at the boy's dead body, once alive. Now simply a dish for maggots.
He let go of the blade, causing it to bounce on the ground as he fell to his feet, and crawl up into a ball.
"It wasn't my fault."
His voice cracked making it even higher than normal. Not only that, but the reaction he shows is closer to one of a teen going through a mourning than a child.
A few minutes of sobbing later, a shadowy man appeared from no one. His dark colored hair as black as the shadows themselves .
It was Lucius now wearing a cream colored shirt, vast, and dark trench coat. His boats sounded throughout the room. He walked over to Johan and kneed down next to him.
The young boy felt a hand ruffle his hair, just like how his now dead did so. He went to see who it was, and as soon as his face was uncovered. He was slapped right across the face, so hard in fact that it caused to fall on his side.
Lucius spoke, his voice cold and unmoving:
"You came here knowing full well you were going to kill. I told you repeatedly to run away from a fight. I also did you harm over kill and that killing is painful. You even called your father weak because he lost against me simply because didn't want to kill. Now that you experience it yourself, you understand why. Now get up, your job is simple. You wanted to avenge your father, okay then. How about this? You go and fight for what matters. Fight for the protection of others, or their suffering. The joy for ideals or the ways of God. You chose to come here and I'm certainly not sending you back home simply because you entered the adult world sooner than you should have.
Get up, wield your blade for the right reasons and still be there. You decided to fight so you live with its consequences. I tell you, unless you fight for the goodness of God or for the goodness of others if you somehow don't believe in Him. Then you fight for a reason stupider than anything. So get up or I'll kill you myself."
He said as he stomped on Johan's ribs. Pushing his feet into them before letting go. Johan held onto his side, tears flowing from his eyes like a great river. Mostly sorrow but some anger was mixed in.
"Listen, killing may not be wrong. Nor is breaking down from killing. But you choose to give up. Not only that but I gave up when I told you repeatedly what you were going to have to do. What you were going to feel. And what you could do to avoid it. I drilled your father's teachings. Front to back, side to side. But you and your pride wouldn't listen. You thought you simply had to get to rank 4 and train. You chose to embody the fighter. Not a fighter but the fighter. As in you chose to simply be a class instead of a human and look where that got you. Now get up and be ready."
Johan got up and stared down Lucius. Though it was quite laughable to Lucius.
"Honestly if you were older, I would have taught about God too."
He said as he shook his head.
"I know about God. And I'm mature enough to know."
Johan said, his voice even higher than normal.
"No you don't. If you knew God you would keep true to all His teachings and commands. You also would have never gone this road nor would you be this prideful. The mere fact you mentioned your maturity shows your pride. Just because you're mature doesn't disapprove your a child. In fact the only reason I'm even here is because I can't be a still at home person. So get up and fight. Or you'll die yourself. Never knowing God. And–"
He paused before staring down at the child with cold, dead eyes.
"You will never ever see your family ever again. To you they are basically dead. You came here for your father and lost your sister, mother, and friends."
Johan's mouth shook, lips twigs as if to say something but no words came out. 'He's wrong. He's wrong. I didn't abandon my family. I just…I do know God. I went to the church..I.' Lucius looked at the child in front of him, head low, legs shaking, and will cracked.
He walked to the bag of ice cream before using a card-like object. Johan felt cold and looked up to see the scene. The bag seemed as if it was just in the freezer. Which Lucius then placed it into. Johan contemplated everything today and heard. None of it was wrong. He was prideful, he knew that. He just didn't believe it would cost him. And even if you look at it. It didn't cost him.
His pride wasn't the problem. The problem was that he had killed a person. But he only killed someone because he decided to throw his life away. That was completely and utterly done in pride. He stared at the floor. Tears dripped down on it.
Before feeling a weird, dreamlike sensation. The world turned dark before he arrived inside of a dark hallway. He saw candles lined up against the walls. Under his feet was a beautiful red carpet with black aspects. And lastly, the hallway led to a courtyard overlooking a medieval styled town. He realized where he was. He was inside Lucius's divine kingdom. The castle in the center. At that moment he saw the vampiric boy suddenly come out the shadows in front of him. Smiling as if nothing had happened.
Johan's eyes widened as he grimaced. Teeth clenched and showing.
A sense of fear and trauma poured onto like a great river and he could simply think of one thing.
'Why am I so stupid?!' He thought as his neck was stabbed clean through.
His body fell on the ground dead. Before he suddenly woke in the exact place mere moments ago.
This time. It wasn't the boy standing in front of him. But himself.
Cold dark eyes gazed upon him as he fell to his knees and checked his neck. The attack from the boy was far more painful than before. Every other time he was stabbed, cut, or beaten. He felt warm and alive. But just then, he felt empty, cold and,
'Nothing! I felt like I became nothing!'