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Chapter 34 - Chapter 34: The Sworn Shield

HELAENA

Midnight. My chambers.

I sent away the servants an hour ago. Told them I wanted to sleep early. A lie—I hadn't slept properly in weeks.

The fire crackled. Shadows danced on the walls. In the adjacent room, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera breathed softly, dreaming whatever dreams innocent children dream.

Not fire. Please let them dream of flowers and sunlight. Not fire.

A knock. Three taps. The pattern we'd established.

I opened the door.

Ulf stood there. Clean clothes for once—he must have bathed before coming. His hair was still damp. His face...

Different. Something had changed in the past ten days. He carried himself differently now. Like a weapon that had finally been sharpened.

"You summoned me."

"I needed—" The words stuck. "Come in. Please."

He entered. I closed the door. Locked it.

Treason. This is treason.

I didn't care.

ULF

She wore a nightgown. White silk, almost translucent by firelight. Her silver hair hung loose, cascading past her shoulders.

Beautiful. Fragile. Mine.

That last thought surprised me. But it was true.

"Aegon?"

"Drunk. With the kitchen girls. He won't wake until noon." Her voice was flat. Stating facts she'd accepted long ago. "He never comes to me anymore. Not since..."

She didn't finish. Didn't need to.

I crossed the room. Stood close enough to touch, but didn't. Waited.

"I'm afraid." The words came out like confession. "Every dream now ends in fire. The children burning. The Keep burning. You—" Her voice broke. "You burning."

"I don't burn."

"Everyone burns eventually."

I took her hand. Her fingers were ice.

"Then don't dream alone."

She looked up at me. Violet eyes wet with unshed tears.

"Is that an offer?"

"It's a promise."

She leaned into me. Her head against my chest. Her arms around my waist. I held her—carefully, gently, like something precious.

"I've never felt safe," she whispered. "Not once. Not my entire life. My mother used me as a piece. My father ignored me. My husband..." She laughed bitterly. "Aegon can't even look at me without seeing obligation."

"I look at you and see everything."

"What does that mean?"

I tilted her chin up. Met her eyes.

"It means when I'm in the sky on Silverwing, I'm not thinking about battle. I'm thinking about getting back to you."

Her breath caught.

"You bonded with her? Truly?"

"Two days ago. Nearly died three times. Worth it."

"Why?"

"Because I need to protect you. And protection from the ground isn't enough anymore."

HELAENA

He kissed me.

Not like before—stolen moments in the godswood, quick and furtive. This was slow. Deliberate. A question asked with lips instead of words.

I answered yes.

My hands found his shoulders. His neck. The damp hair at the base of his skull.

His hands—those scarred, burned, trained hands—touched my waist. My back. Drew me closer.

"Are you sure?" His voice was rough. "This is—"

"I know what it is." I kissed him again. "I know the risk."

"If Aegon finds out—"

"Aegon doesn't care what I do. He never has." I pulled at his shirt. "I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of being alone. Give me one night where I'm neither."

He studied my face. Looking for doubt. For hesitation.

He found none.

ULF

Afterward.

We lay tangled together, her head on my chest, her breath warm against my skin. The fire had burned low—embers glowing orange in the darkness.

Through the wall, the children slept on. Oblivious.

Safe. All of them safe. At least for tonight.

"I should tell you something," she murmured.

"Tell me."

"When I dream of you—the good dreams, not the fire—you're always standing. Always fighting. Never running." Her fingers traced patterns on my chest. "Other people run in my dreams. Aegon runs. Mother runs. Even Aemond runs, sometimes. But you never do."

"Running doesn't solve problems."

"No. It doesn't." She propped herself up. Looked at me. "What are you, Ulf? Really?"

A man from another world. Someone who shouldn't exist. A anomaly wrapped in Targaryen blood.

"I'm yours," I said instead. "Whatever else I am, that comes first."

She smiled. Sad and hopeful at once.

"Swear it. Like the oath you refused to swear to Aegon. Swear to me."

I sat up. Took her hands. The formal position felt right, even naked and tangled in sheets.

"I am yours. Not the Crown's. Not the Greens'. Not your husband's. Yours." The words came easily because they were true. "Your shield. Your sword. Your shadow. Where you go, I go. When you fall, I catch you. When you die—"

She pressed her finger to my lips.

"Don't speak of death. Not tonight."

I adjusted. "When you live, I'll make sure it's a life worth living."

Tears spilled down her cheeks. But she was smiling.

"I accept your oath, Ulf of House Nobody. I bind you to me, and me to you."

"That's not how oaths usually work."

"It's how ours works."

She kissed me again. Softer this time. A seal on a contract written in flesh instead of ink.

ULF

Dawn crept through the windows. Gray light replacing orange.

I dressed quietly. Helaena watched from the bed, sheets pulled up around her shoulders.

"Will you come back tonight?"

"If you want me."

"I want you every night. For the rest of my life."

Careful. Don't make promises you can't keep.

But I was done being careful.

"Then I'll come back every night. Until the war ends. Until we're safe. Until whatever happens next."

She nodded. Accepting.

I slipped out the door. The corridor was empty—too early for servants, too late for guards on night shift.

Back to my quarters. Back to the pretense of being nothing more than a sworn shield.

But as I walked, I could still feel her warmth. Still taste her on my lips. Still hear her voice speaking my name like it meant something.

If they find out, it's treason. Adultery with the queen. Death.

I knew the risks.

I also knew I'd choose this again. Every time. Without hesitation.

Some things were worth dying for.

Helaena was one of them.

I reached my quarters. Stripped. Lay on my narrow bed.

Sleep found me quickly—the first real sleep in ten days.

No dreams of fire.

Just silver hair and violet eyes and the warmth of finally belonging to someone.

SOMEWHERE IN THE RED KEEP

A servant paused outside the queen's chambers.

Listened.

Heard nothing—the walls were thick.

But she'd seen the bastard guard enter. Had watched the door stay closed all night.

Interesting.

She moved on. Found the shadows. Vanished into them.

Some information was valuable.

Some information could buy a lot of things.

And some information could end a war.

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