"Do you want to know? I'll tell you for free. Why must one always go out?"
The youth listened to Rikuo's words, and the doubt in his eyes deepened.
"It's my least favorite part again: the sermon."
Rikuo sat down cross-legged, unconcerned by the dust on the ground.
"You sit too. We still have a long time. Anyway, my memories won't disappear, so I can play with you all day long!"
The eerie being, seemingly in a state of chaotic consciousness, seemed to understand Rikuo's feelings and also sat down cross-legged. A rusty iron gate separated the human and the eerie being.
"I once thought that forgetting that memory might help me move forward better. But, the more painful the memory, the deeper it becomes."
"I also once wanted to end it all: the bullies' arrogance, the teachers' indifference, my parents' lack of understanding."
"I also once wanted to escape. Perhaps you, in this era, don't understand the internet, so just think of it as a game console. Compared to the real world, I preferred games and anime. Because even if they weren't perfect, you could change them."
"I loved reading fantasy because my world wasn't exciting enough; I loved reading cultivation novels because they could ascend and escape the mundane; I loved reading sci-fi because I could see how wonderful others imagined our world to be."
"Actually, I just didn't like myself."
"People, ah, are changed by others' opinions. Classmates think your grades are bad, teachers think you're a lot of trouble, bullies think you're easy to pick on, and parents also think you're not motivated."
"Perhaps you don't know about internet addiction treatment centers, but coincidentally, I've been to one. Already over 18, I was tricked into going there by my parents. Of course, it wasn't long, just one summer. But, people's strange looks don't change with the passage of time."
"A parent's command must not be disobeyed. Can you steel your heart and report parents who you believe are doing what's best for you? Besides, you can't report them."
"But, aren't you doing very well now?"
Listening to Rikuo's words, the youth only felt that the other person should have met a similar fate as himself.
"Indeed, as you see, I am still alive."
"Because I love this world."
"Although it's painful, I still have next week's anime to watch. Although it's sad, I still have to play games with my friends. Although I can't see the future, I live in the present."
"I like Sakiko because she's very cute. Although she makes mistakes, she doesn't do nothing. She tries hard to prove herself, even if she's wrong. I can't muster the resolve to fight against a conglomerate, and while that sounds funny, she has it."
"I like Kamen Rider because they're cool, it's that simple. From the beginning, it was because they were cool. But the word 'Blade' is so beautiful, severing one's own destiny and all that. And 'Build,' creating a world and all that. They are also my favorite Riders."
"I also love my family. Although they don't understand me, I know they aren't irresponsible parents; they actually love me very much."
"Yes, I am just a self-pitying clown. But so what?"
"That is the 'me' in your eyes."
"I can't satisfy everyone, but I can satisfy myself. I like to play some bad jokes; if you like them, you can laugh. If you don't, you can leave, or mock me, it's none of my business; I like Sakiko, I like to tease her, I like to joke about her. You can like her and laugh with me, or mock her. Again, it's none of my business; I like this world, but the world deceived me. I may be full of suffering, but I can laugh, and I can cry. But I am still here, and it's none of your business."
"Indeed, I may not be liked by most people. But as long as the people I like, like me too, and the people I care about, care about me, that's enough."
"Since I can't change the world, then I'll change myself. Change my perspective; suffering won't disappear, but it will only become a memory, and like happiness, it's all a part of me. So, why should I go out?"
The youth looked at Rikuo, no longer questioning, and walked back to the school building.
Rikuo walked with his hands behind his head, his face relaxed, and followed him.
The building was no longer dilapidated, returning to how it was in the youth's memory. Students were studying in classrooms, playing in the corridors, and running on the playground. The youth's seat was being carved with words by bullies, but the youth made no move, only looking at the girl who was trying to stop them.
The youth watched the bullies bullying him in the restroom. The girl was reporting to the teacher, although the teacher still ignored it.
The youth watched himself confide in the teacher, but the teacher still didn't pay attention to him, yet the girl was waiting for him at the office door.
Haha, actually there was no girl at all, it was just the youth's imagination. But why can't imagination be used to give oneself courage?
Since there was no girl, though it sounds funny, then he would become the girl. Although he might not be able to help everyone, if he could help just one, or merely give encouragement, that would be enough. Perhaps all the other person needed was just that little bit of hope.
"Sure enough, it's unsolvable. The pain of memory only deepens."
Rikuo sighed.
"But, my friend, life has only just begun. If you can't tear it up, keep moving forward. If you're going to tear it up, remember to buy insurance in advance."
The youth looked at Rikuo and asked his final question.
"Don't you feel pain?"
"Of course, every night. So, I choose to make myself happier. The things I like, I cherish more; the things I dislike, I despise more. Maybe what I like, you dislike, and what you dislike, I like, but, it's none of my business."
The space gradually twisted, yet it emitted sunlight. The youth gradually dissipated, his expression no longer gloomy.
Rikuo did not call out the other person's name until the very last moment. Although he knew it, that would represent an attempt to approach the other person without permission, which might be a bit too sentimental, but bullied people are just that sentimental. If you don't know his pain, why should you make him go out? He died, so he also found his own liberation. That is the answer. What salvation of the past? His choice is his own salvation.
"Of course, my choice is to keep moving forward, to live a happier life with the pain. The destiny I want to sever is myself. So I could have done it long ago, couldn't I?"
Rikuo took out a blank card, and the light of the space gathered there.
"I can't guess what Undead it will be. Blade never used a corresponding ability."
The blank card gradually materialized, and a centipede appeared within it, with the 10 of Hearts (Shuffle Centipede; Enables user to reuse Rouse cards) engraved in the upper left corner.
"Shuffle, and start anew? How wonderful."
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