Ben
During Winter break, Bryce and I kept in touch constantly. We would text each other at random times during the day, and call each other usually at night to wish each other goodnight. He even told me that he met up with his childhood friend Tom and his boyfriend.
The day after New Year's day, Bryce messaged me with a quick I'm home. I need you. NOW text with a horned devil emoji on it.
"Gotta go," I said to my family, "I'll call you on Saturday, ok?"
Mom, dad, and Billie grinned, knowing the reason why I was going back to the apartment. The only one who said anything was Bart.
"Hey Benny," he called to me, "Sam was coming over to see you."
"Oh," I told Bart, "Tell him I'm sorry and I will talk to him later."
I left home immediately. Bryce and I haven't seen each other for a few weeks and both he and I have some catching up to do.
And boy did we catch up. The moment I walked through the door, Bryce was wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt. Not just any T-shirt, one of mine. I didn't even have a chance to say hello, because he immediately attacked me by pinning me against the wall and kissed me with a furious hunger. I returned the sentiment and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly against me. Even through the fabric we were wearing I could feel that we were both hard and they were both rubbing against each other.
"What took you so long?" asked Bryce when he broke away from the kissing.
"Traffic was a nightmare."
"You weren't here waiting for me."
I looked at him and chuckled at how ridiculously needy he was with me. "Hey," I replied, "I'm not some dog who stays waiting for his master to come home."
"You're not a dog," he reassured, "But you are my boyfriend."
I couldn't help but smile at his remark, "What are you wearing?"
"Your welcome home gift."
"Well then," I said, "Let me unwrap it."
We spent the night in bed, releasing all the pent up horniness we endured over the break.
Bryce
Ben and I went at it so many times, we ended up breaking the bed. Well more like we somehow punctured the air mattress we had set up for the apartment. It started out very firm when we started, somewhat firm when we went to sleep, and this morning, we woke up on the floor.
It was time to go shopping for a proper bed, and I dreaded returning to that Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I didn't want to go and see that lady again, but Ben said he'd take me out for lunch and I got to pick the spot.
I decided on a sushi place, since Techno said it had a great selection. And he was right. I ordered the mega platter which was a platter in the shape of a boat with my choice of six rolls and it was a platter for two.
Ben however only ate the vegetable roll, even though I made sure to let the server know he had shellfish allergy. They did inform me that their imitation crab does not contain any real crab but Ben still didn't want to risk it, which I understood, but I had other rolls that didn't have any of his allergens. I practically had to force him to eat a spicy tuna roll.
After lunch we went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and I was immediately searching for that sales lady. When we were last here she assumed Ben and I were a couple, which pissed me off. Now that we are, I knew it would make my idiot boyfriend happy, but I was still uneasy with other people knowing about us.
Ben seemed to notice my anxiety and asked, "What's wrong?"
"I'm just worried about running into that associate from last time," I said, "Why do I have to be here?"
"Bryce," Ben said to me, "We're buying our bed. We're going to be sleeping on it together and I don't want to get one that you don't like."
"Aren't they all the same?" I asked.
"Actually, they're not." And there she was, still as chipper as ever.
"Hello miss," Ben greeted her, "We're looking for a bed for our new place."
Dammit, Ben. Why do you have to announce our relationship to the world?
"Excellent," she said, "I'll be happy to assist you with that. As I said before, not all beds are the same. First we have the bedframe, which can be either metal or wood. Wooden frames can break if enough weight and force is applied and can damage the mattress or cause it to slump on one side. Also there's the mattress itself, we have the traditional spring coil mattresses, foam, rubber, it all depends on your sleep needs. We can try different ones and find one that's best suited for you both."
Ben took out his phone which was vibrating. "I'll be right back," he said, "I gotta take this."
Ben went off to take his call and left me with her. Together, the associate and I went to the displays and tested out the different mattresses for our new bed.
Ben
My phone was vibrating, and I checked the caller ID. Sam was calling. I knew he was planning something since my birthday is coming up.
"Hey Sam."
"Don't hey Sam me," he said, "You bailed on me yesterday."
"I didn't bail on you," I replied, "I just had something to do."
"I came to see you," said Sam, "I haven't seen you since I graduated."
"So," I proceeded, "What do you want?"
"Do you want anything in particular for your big day?"
"No," I told him, "I'm good. You don't have to get me anything."
"C'mon Ben," Sam pleaded, "You know how I hate to give random gifts. Do you want anything in particular?"
"I already have what I want," I told him as I looked at Bryce, "You don't have to get me anything."
"Fine," he said, "Don't complain about your gift when I give it to you."
Sam hung up. Knowing him as well as I do, he was upset because I didn't want a gift from him. I just laughed at his silly behavior and went back to Bryce as he was testing out a Tempur Pedic bed.
Bryce
Ben and I decided on a bed and it was delivered hours after we left. But we had a talk before the bed came.
"Why are you mad?" he asked.
"I just don't know why you have to announce to the whole world why we're in a relationship," I answered, "Why can't it be our little secret and nobody else's business?"
"Because," Ben replied, "I want to be able to tell people that I'm yours and you're mine. It may not matter to you, but it does to me."
Hearing him say that made me feel awful. I also want to be able to tell others that he's mine, but I'm not used to having a boyfriend and even though my hatred towards gay people no longer exists, the fact that I am in a gay relationship still feels alien to me.
Before I could apologize to Ben, he said, "I understand it's still new to you. You're not ready to acknowledge our relationship to everyone yet, and it's ok. Take your time. You'll be ready in your own time."
I don't know if that day will come. I know Ben held out on the hope that I would be ready to publicly claim him as my boyfriend, but I doubted that would ever happen.
As we waited for the bed to arrive, I checked my social media notifications and one notification jumped at me before all others.
Upcoming Birthdays: Ben Saldivar
"Shit," I said out loud, thinking it was only in my head. I look at Ben as he heard me swear.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
We still had a week before classes start up again so I would be able to take him out on a birthday date. Just the two of us.
"Hey Ben," I asked, "Are you busy this weekend?"
Ben grinned and said, "Where are you taking me for my birthday?"
"So much for surprising you."
"Well, I'm free in the afternoon of my birthday, but I have to go home before 5pm."
"Why so early?" I asked.
Ben leaned his head on my shoulder and explained, "My family has this tradition for birthdays. The day is for friends, but evening is for family."
"And," I proceeded to ask, "What if you have a boyfriend?"
"Then he counts as family," he said, "So I can bring you along. However, my mom has mentioned that if the boyfriend or girlfriend, depending on the sibling, protests and wants the evening with the birthday boy or girl, then she will start saying that her word is law as she suffered the pain of childbirth. Trust me, I heard my brother's birthing story and you don't want to go through that."
The thought of meeting Ben's family was terrifying to me. To me it felt final, like I'm ready to get married and become part of the family. But at the same time, it also felt like I would be judged as unfit to be with Ben.
"Come with me," Ben asked, "They'll love you."
"What if they don't?"
"My family knows I'm gay and when I came out to them, my mom and dad both told me that whoever I love, they will love. You are the one I love, therefore, they will love you too."
"I don't think I can go with you," I said, "It's like we talked about earlier. Your family may accept you 'cause you're their flesh and blood, but I'm not sure I'm ready to declare that I'm your boyfriend and I don't think I can handle them thinking that I'm not good enough for you."
"But you are," He reassured me, "You are good enough for me. My family will see that, and if they can't…"
"I don't want to create a wedge between you and your family," I said, "Go without me. Maybe next year I'll be ready to be a part of your family. This year, I promise I will have a present you will never forget."
Ben sulked, knowing I wouldn't be celebrating his birthday with him, but he sighed and said, "I get it. And as I told you before, take your time. I don't want you to feel pressured into accepting this as normal before you're ready."
It's moments like this that make me feel that I'm not worthy of him. He's so good to me and I'm just here playing catch up when he's miles ahead of me. He's too good for me and I don't deserve him. I guess this is why I'm not ready to declare our relationship publicly. But I want to be with him and I can't see myself with anyone else but him.
It is for this reason that I promise to become the man he deserves. The man worthy to be with him.