Seraphina POV
Such vibrant yellow petals blooming beautifully, with no traces of imperfection.
I silently admire the miniature yellow rose bush on my table that has accompanied me for quite a while now. I've been carefully taking care of it ever since I received it and it has certainly made my dorm room feel more welcoming.
I reach out and gently pinch a flowerhead, feeling the silky smoothness of its petals.
Even though I never really cared much about flowers before, looking after this rosebush myself and seeing it grow has been quite rewarding and just looking at it helps me calm down and improve my mood.
To think that such a small plant has helped me so much just by being next to me, but when I touch it, I can feel how delicate it really is. It would only take a single rough movement to break its stem. Of course I'd never hurt it intentionally, but it could simply dry out if it doesn't get enough water or a random disease could easily kill it as well.
Such a fragile flower, just like the person I received it from…
Even though I only spent a few months with Lucy, I cherish all the time we had so far and it never even crossed my mind that it could all end so abruptly.
Thankfully she managed to destroy the curse, Miss Julia has confirmed that part too so she should be fine, but what if she didn't succeed? She could have been right next to me one second, then the next she would have been gone. All the light and happiness she brought into my life would have vanished just like that.
Even though now it's just an unrealized possibility, I can't help but think about what that could have been like. The worst part is that I wasn't even aware that there was any danger and I just let her attempt to break the curse. So if it had really taken her life, I could only blame myself for it… and part of me still does.
Before, just imagining Lucy marrying Bernard made me uncomfortable because that would mean that we spend less time together, but I would take that outcome any day over losing her for good.
Even if I never met her again, but knew that she was okay and living her life I would still be content with it. But if she was truly gone, then I…
That suffocating feeling once again grips my chest and I feel short of breath.
This is the only thing that has been on my mind since I learnt about it yesterday, but this uncomfortable feeling hasn't subsided at all. Maybe because I know that it could still happen, if not today then maybe the next day or after that, or…
I really want to scold her, I want to make her swear that she'll never do anything like this again, but I'm also afraid. What if she just refuses? What if she doesn't listen to me or thinks that I'm annoying and just holding her back?
I do consider her my best friend, but I don't know how she sees me. She certainly didn't trust me enough to tell me she was taking such a big risk. So my thoughts have been just going around in circles, I don't know how to treat her at all.
Knock. Knock.
The sound of someone softly rapping on my door takes me out of my daze and I slowly walk over and open the door.
"Ah, Hina. How are you?"
"..."
I instantly recognize that familiar golden hair and I avert my gaze and stay silent, unsure of what to say.
"Um… Can I come in? I wanted to talk about something…"
"..."
I let go of the door handle and walk back to my seat. I hear Lucy hesitantly take a step inside and then close the door behind her.
"...H-Hina, are you still upset?"
After fidgeting with her hands for a while, she finally manages to bring herself to ask that question. However, before I even have the opportunity to answer she continues:
"Ah, nevermind. That was a stupid question. I came to apologize."
Then she extends her arm and takes my hand. I can feel her warmth slowly seeping into my skin. I flinch slightly at the sudden movement, but eventually I relax my hands.
"So… will you look at me?"
She asks in a somber, yet hopeful tone.
Even though I'm still afraid to confirm her true feelings, since she managed to gather the courage to come to me like this, I guess I should also properly look at her.
I move my gaze upwards, meeting those big, clear blue eyes.
"Why… Why didn't you tell me? Am I really that untrustworthy?"
"...!"
Ah, this is why I didn't want to look at her. Those words slip out of my mouth and even I can tell that my voice sounds really shaky. I feel the edges of my eyes burning as well, but I can no longer stop myself from asking her.
"No, no! That's not it at all! Actually it's quite the opposite. I just didn't want you to unnecessarily worry about me. I knew I was able to overcome the curse so I thought it was better if I just didn't mention the danger. But now I see that I was wrong to think like that and I won't do it again. I'm really sorry."
Hearing her say all of this, my hand slightly tightens around hers. Even though deep down I knew I was just overthinking things, I couldn't help but obsess over the what-ifs. This much should be enough to reassure me, but now that she's being so open with me, I can't help but let my other thoughts slip out as well.
"I really care about you, you know? You might not think the same way about me, but I really don't want you to risk your life so easily, especially when I don't even know about it. If things went wrong and you were just suddenly gone, I…"
"No, I care about you too! And I swear I won't recklessly risk my life from now on, or at least I will always inform you about it first."
After my words, Lucy becomes flustered and she quickly explains herself. Although her response is pretty much the best I could expect from her, it still sounds a bit off. So a certain idea form is my head and while trying to keep my tone as neutral as possible I say:
"That doesn't really sound reassuring at all."
"B-but if there was someone in front of me who needed help, I… I'd try to help them even if there was danger…"
"So that's the extent you care about me, huh… Even less than a random hypothetical person…"
I deliberately make my voice sound weak and sad as I lower my head and let go of Lucy's hand.
"Eh? Ah… that's not... Of course I care about you more! You're the person I'm closest to, it's just… I couldn't leave someone in need alone… S-so…"
Subtly glancing up, I can see her panicked expression as she's tripping over her words, trying her best to clarify her stance.
Heh. That's what you get for making me worry so much.
Watching her in this flustered state just because I pretended to be hurt makes the rest of my concerns melt away. Okay, I shouldn't play too much with her feelings. So I let the sad expression disappear from my face and look up at her.
"I'm kidding. I know what you're like, asking you to not help someone is impossible from the start. But you better keep your promise to always tell me about it first and we will figure something out together. You better not try handling things on your own again!"
"Huh? So you're not mad? I mean, I swear!"
She freezes for a moment after my words, but then her eyes light up and she earnestly answers me. Even though I thought I already fulfilled my selfish revenge on her, with her being so sincere, my teasing side flares up again.
"Really? Can I trust you to keep your word?"
"Um… Ah! How about this?"
Lucy thinks for a moment and then she grabs my right hand and uses her pinky finger to wrap around mine. Honestly, I didn't really expect much of a reaction from her, so her sudden movements catch me off guard, and before I can react, she quickly recites her promise with a serious expression.
"I swear I won't act recklessly from now on and I will always find Hina before doing anything dangerous. If I don't keep my word I have to swallow a thousand needles!"
"Pfft. What was that? Hahaha."
As she recites such childish lines so seriously, I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of this sudden development.
"A pinky swear? D-Do people not do it here?"
"Not that, only little kids do something like this. Hahaha."
"Ah, well…"
I try to hold back my laughter, but after being so tense and depressed since yesterday, I have a hard time controlling it so I just giggle to myself while Lucy looks at me with a rather confused expression that slowly turns concerned. After a few seconds, my sides begin to hurt and I finally manage to suppress it.
"Haha… Haah… A hug."
"Huh? What?"
"A hug. I'll forgive you if I can hug you."
"Eh? Um, okay… Like this?"
After briefly hesitating, Lucy stands up and awkwardly holds out her arms. I follow her lead and stand up as well, then wrap my arms around her waist and pull her in.
I feel her whole body stiffen in my arms, clearly not used to such close contact.
Sorry, but let me be a little more selfish today.
"I was really worried."
"Ah, yeah… Sorry."
"Remember to keep your word too."
"Hm."
After getting those last bits of reassuring words, I tighten my hold on this troublesome girl. I never really noticed it before, but even though she's about the same height as me, she's so thin it feels like she would snap if I just exerted a bit too much force.
And yet she's the one who wants to protect others. She should look in the mirror first.
But really… To think I would care about someone else this much still feels a little weird, but I don't dislike it.
Actually, maybe it's a little more than just simple caring. I feel like I wouldn't have reacted like this if this happened with just a regular friend of mine.
Lucy… Ugh. I might actually be in love with her…
"..."
I can feel my cheeks heat up as that thought forms in my mind, so I quickly bury my head in her shoulder and tighten my arms around her even more so that she has no chance to notice the change on my face.
"Uh, t-too tight… can't breathe-"
I ignore the faint whine beside my ear and just keep holding Lucy until my emotions calm down again.