Chapter 181 Koenji: It's Not the Back?
"Wait, Koenji.
Right now, you should be... very busy, shouldn't you?" Hikigaya spoke pointedly.
"Pay it no mind.
Sexual intercourse is nothing more than a daily routine for me.
More importantly, I have a premonition that whatever Fish-Eye Boy is looking for me for must be much more interesting!" Koenji Rokusuke's frivolous voice came through the phone.
"Uh, it's not exactly an interesting matter..." Hikigaya paused. He was thinking about how to explain this without causing a misunderstanding.
"Speak."
"Gulp, gulp, gulp~" The sound of Koenji Rokusuke drinking water came through the phone.
"It's like this. I want to borrow some lubricant from you..." Before Hikigaya could finish his sentence, a violent sound of coughing erupted from the other end.
"Pfft— Cough, cough, cough, cough!
Did... did I hear that correctly?" Koenji Rokusuke let out a shocked voice.
"Don't misunderstand!
I'm borrowing lubricant for a positive purpose!" Hikigaya quickly offered an explanation.
"It's not for the back?" Koenji Rokusuke asked suspiciously.
'What 'back'— Holy crap, this pervert!'
Hikigaya's eyes froze as he understood instantly; he immediately denied it loudly: "I don't have that kind of special hobby!!"
"What on earth are you two talking about?" Horikita Suzune looked completely lost throughout the exchange.
"Shh!" Hikigaya instinctively tried to quiet her, but she was still heard by Koenji Rokusuke on the other end.
"Oh...? So it's Stubborn Girl.
I thought the first one Fish-Eye Boy would 'eat' would be Energetic Girl or Big Wave Girl."
'This guy is so rude. He gave four people different nicknames all at once!'
"Energetic Girl and Big Wave Girl... he must mean Sakura and Hasebe from our class.
Why are their names appearing here, and what does Hikigaya 'eating' them mean?"
Horikita Suzune's brows were knitted tight, unable to make sense of it.
"Sigh!
Koenji, can you stop talking nonsense?"
Hikigaya couldn't help but palm his face, feeling that things were becoming increasingly complicated.
He urged impatiently: "Just give me one sentence: can you borrow the stuff to me or not!!"
"Is it that urgent?
It seems you and Stubborn Girl have already developed to an uncontrollable stage.
I suppose there's no helping you~ As a great gentleman, I am willing to lend a helping hand at this time."
Koenji Rokusuke said a lot more rambling nonsense.
Hikigaya truly couldn't listen anymore and hung up directly, sending a message telling the other to bring the items to Room 906. He casually transferred 50,000 points as a fee for running the errand and keeping his mouth shut.
"Hey, Hikigaya, what kind of riddles are you playing with Koenji?
Why can't I understand a single thing you're saying?"
Horikita Suzune seriously suspected there was something wrong with her Japanese.
"Sigh... for you, touching upon this topic is still a bit too early.
And I don't want to be beat to a pulp by Chairman Horikita!"
Hikigaya blocked her attempt to continue questioning.
"What you say is truly incomprehensible..." Horikita Suzune still couldn't understand.
-
-
-
Koenji Rokusuke's efficiency was extremely high; he arrived at the door of Room 906 in less than five minutes.
"I'll go get the stuff.
Horikita, don't come out." Hikigaya went to open the door alone.
"Yo! Fish-Eye Boy, you have truly brought me an unexpected surprise!" The corners of Koenji Rokusuke's mouth curled into an ambiguous smile.
"Tch...Things are not what you imagine!" Hikigaya looked speechless.
"Hehe~Using lubricant in the girls' dormitory... I can't think of any other use for it."
Koenji Rokusuke had a look that said: Go ahead and quibble, I won't believe a single word.
"Tsk! This is annoying!I'll just tell you the truth..." Hikigaya was just about to tell the stupid story of "Horikita Suzune getting her hand stuck in a vacuum flask."
"Hikigaya, shut up!!" Horikita Suzune appeared from behind him, covering his mouth with one hand, her face flushed with total embarrassment.
"Mmmph, mmmph~" Hikigaya couldn't explain.
He thought to himself: If this keeps up, I won't be able to wash myself clean even if I jump into the Kiso River!
"No need to explain, Fish-Eye Boy." Koenji Rokusuke patted his shoulder earnestly and handed him a large, full bag.
"Important business comes first.
See, Stubborn Girl can't wait anymore."
Horikita Suzune looked startled and stammered: "How... how do you know I can't wait..."
Koenji Rokusuke's gaze turned odd.
'This woman... how does she have a vibe of being 'pure but stupid'?'
"Horikita, stop making it worse, okay?"
Hikigaya broke free from her hand, took the bag in one hand, and slammed the door shut!
"Having done another very interesting deed, I am truly too beautiful~" Koenji Rokusuke left satisfied.
"What do you mean I'm 'making it worse'? Give me a proper explanation."
Horikita Suzune had her arms crossed over her chest, maintaining a dead-serious expression. But with the vacuum flask still stuck on her hand, it looked incredibly comical!
"Sorry, there are too many things to roast, I don't even want to speak!"
Hikigaya opened the bag. He immediately snapped it shut!
Inwardly, he cursed: 'That bastard Koenji! Giving me all these unnecessary things!'
"What's wrong? Aren't we going to use the lubricant?" Horikita Suzune was confused, while a hint of curiosity flashed in her eyes: "By the way, what's in that big bag?"
"Th-this...Don't worry about it for now." Hikigaya quickly moved the bag behind him. Then, through some fumbling with his hands, he pulled out a bottle.
"Let's begin, Horikita." Hikigaya took a deep breath, trying his best to stay serious.
"Do it." Horikita Suzune obediently held out her arm.
Hikigaya squeezed a large amount of lubricant from the bottle and poured it into the vacuum flask.
"I feel... it's loosening!"
Horikita Suzune's eyes lit up as she tried to shift her stuck palm. One had to admit, the skin-friendliness of the lubricant was excellent, and it even came with its own antibacterial effect.
After a bit of maneuvering, Horikita Suzune successfully pulled her hand out of the flask.
"Phew~ finally... I'm free!" Horikita Suzune let out a long breath, a smile of relief appearing on her face.
"Regardless, thank you so much, Hikigaya."
She couldn't imagine how much longer her hand would have been stuck if Hikigaya hadn't been here today.
"Since the problem is solved, let's start studying now!"
Hikigaya lay in his chair listlessly.
His heart was so tired.
Read ahead (160 chapters) by supporting me on buymeacoffee com/varietl or ko-fi edwriting