"So Angel," Asher starts, "before we go in we need to know…"
"Are we telling your folks we have officially decided to become a thruple OR are we staying friends and logging what happened between us a birthday gift to you." Alex finishes.
"Umm, I think I still need time to think about it." I answer them. I hope they understand, I'm just not ready to discuss this yet.
"Okay Angel, we understand." Asher says but he sounds defeated. Does he want me to say hey let's be a thruple?
"Are you sure you understand? I just don't want to make a rash decision, whatever I decide could potentially change everything. I just need more time. I want to be sure." I say sounding small. I feel bad, I do, but I can't rush this. This decision could change everything for us.
"Yeah Sweetheart, we understand." Alex says encouraging while nudging Ash in the side. We are currently walking up to the house and the air feels tense. I know they want an answer now but I just need more time to think. Man I wish I had girl friends to talk about this with, why did Ari have to move away?
Once we get to the pourch the door juts open and my dad is standing there with a huge grin on his face, "How was your birthday weekend little wolf?" He asks pretending not to notice the tension in the air. I flush a little then reply.
"It was great Dad! The twins gave me the best birthday gift ever this weekend and I can't wait to tell Sam and Dean about tomorrow!"
"Oh! What gift?" He prods.
I choke a little not expecting him to ask for details then thinking on my feet I answer with a huge grin, "They took me down to the falls, we went swimming and we even climbed up behind the waterfall, did you know there's actually a small cave behind it? It was so cool to see and explore. Of course they also brought stuff for S'mores but the jerks didn't break them out until last night!"
Dad laughs knowing my unhealthy obsession with S'mores, he shakes his head buying my explanation for my birthday gift. I will make sure he never learns what the real gift was, parents don't need to know things like that about their kids, besides if he ever found out he would never allow me to be alone with them like tbat again.
We all make our way inside, I give mom the food Ms. Sally sent with us letting her know she wants to visit with my parents soon. The twins help me bring my stuff upstairs and then we head back down and speand the rest of the evening with my parents. We play some board games and my parents offered for them to stay for dinner but the twins refused saying they needed to head home that their mom probably had a hige meal for them aleady. I walk with them to the door letting them know I will make a decision soon and they both give me a kiss to the temple and leave.
I can't wait to have time with my wold dogs tomorrow, even though they can't speak, they are the best listeners and always help me through my thoughts especially with times like these.
The next day I am excited to work with my camp group. I planned an exciting activity for them and we head over to the the sanctuary learning center first. Once all the campers arrive we gather around for a short indoor lessen then head to the back to meet and greet with the wolf dogs. Sam and Dean aren't around right now which makes me kind of sad but the main group and Alpha come up to the kids while they give out treats just as I thought them and we get to have some nice photo opportunities. Once we are done we go back towards the woods to a special observation area to see the animals in their environment without being detected. Its camouflaged so the animals don't know people are watching but we basically get to hide and watch the other animals come up and do their thing without disturbing them. Once done we head back to the learning center and discuss what we observed and why it's important to not disturb the animals in their habitat. I have a great group this week and all the kids are extremely smart and we het a good discussion going. It makes me proud that thete are some younger kids that will hopefully grow up to do similar things to what my family is doing and it all starts with having access to education like our sanctuary provides.
Once everyone goes home for the day, I go out to my little private area that Sam and Dean always meet me at when they are around. Even though they didn't show up for the kids earlier I hope they will show up this evening. I really want to talk my feelings aloud and I wlways feel more at ease when I do it with them then I do by myself.
I'm waiting about a half hour before the first sign of my boys coming to meet me happens. Sam comes barreling in and tackles me to the ground, nipping and licking at me like I an just another wolf dog in his pack causing me to laugh at his antics. I swear he is always like this with me and it makes me feel special. Shortly after Dean saunters un like he doesn't have a care in the world and he sits right next to me, licks my face then places his head in my lap like always. These two boys sre the best!
"Well hello Sam, Dean, I missed you guys too." I say as I rub behind their ears then scratch their muzzles. Planting kisses in their foreheads. I truly love these two and if they weren't wolf dogs I would one hundred percent keep them in my house.
As I continue to pet them I tell them about my birthday, about going camping with the twins. I tell them about the waterfall and what happened, how it made me feel. I even told them about my thought process that lead to Saturday nights activities. I even decided to go into detail about what happened and how amazing Alex and Ash made me feel and how I was glad my first time doing any of that was with them and not some other guy. The mention of another guy made both growl and I had to laugh at that.
"I swear if I didn't know any better I would say you two only ever want me to mention Alex or Asher and you've never even met them." I roll my eyes and ahake my head. "Seriously I don't know if it's because they have been my best friends since the year after I met you or what but you seem to like only them I swear. Is it because I never really talked about other boys with you so you feel like you know them even if you don't?" I chuckle.
"Anyway, as special as everything was between the three of us, I am just afraid if we move on to becoming a thruple or even just friends with benefits, we will ruin what we already have. I know they say it won't but I just can't shake the feeling that it will. Let's say we go for it, we jump all in, start dating. Then what? We spend a wonderful year together as a thruple doing all the things you do when you date someone. I would give them my virginity, because let's face it, I wouldn't want anyone else to have it, other than maybe my future husband, whoever that may be. I know they would at least make me feel cherished while taking it, where someone else may not care. It would honestly make sense in the progression of a relationship but what happens after that year, after I give myself to them fully, they go off to college. What then? Do we break up? Do we stay together? I'm pretty sure the college they have wanted to go too their whole lives isn't local so we won't get to see each other often. Would we try to do long distance? Long distance friendships last but relationships, they rarely do. And what if they meet someone while away? I could handle them meeting someone if we stayed friends, I honestly have expected it at some point, but if we go into a relationship and they meet someone and decide that they wanted to break up to explore whatever connection they have with them, it would crush me. Like I was never good enough to see as a long time girlfriend. Even if that would never be their intention, it would and I don't think I could remain friends if that happened. Even if it was mutual, if I felt that we didn't have a strong romantic connection and we should go back to being friends, I think it would ruin everything." I rub Sam's and Dean's heads one more time and stand up.
"Guys, I think I have my answer. Thank you for listening as always. I'm going to go home and sleep on it but I think," I pause, "I know, if I don't want to lose the twins forever, we can only remain friends."