A day in the life of Chen Li was busy and fulfilling.
What's the first thing to do after waking up in the morning?
Open your eyes, of course.
Chen Li opened his eyes and looked up at the familiar hole where his ceiling used to be, now completely immune to the sight. He spread out [Mom's Tablecloth] and enjoyed a grand feast right there in bed.
After finishing breakfast, he drank a cup of black tea-flavored All the World's Evil to settle his stomach. He then made a request to his roommate, who was peering down at him from the edge of the hole in the ceiling.
"Kaguya, want some breakfast?" Chen Li invited.
"No thanks. Just watching you eat with such gusto has made me full," Kaguya Houraisan said, shaking her head. In any case, she didn't think any ordinary person could eat an entire tablecloth's worth of food.
"How do you have time to chat with me now? Shouldn't you be playing games with Silver Wolf?"
"Oh, Silver Wolf... She's started muttering things about friendship and bonds. She didn't even notice me stealing her kills. I think she's about to break. Sigh, it's only been two days and two nights. How could she not hold on? This Silver Wolf is such a lightweight," Kaguya said, shaking her head, seemingly unimpressed with her gaming partner's stamina. When you play games, you must have the resolve to die from exhaustion!
"I think it's pretty amazing that Silver Wolf lasted two days and two nights. Speaking of which, doesn't she have work to do as a Stellaron Hunter?" Chen Li scratched his head. Was it really okay for Silver Wolf to be skipping work for this long?
"I don't know about her business, I just know she's at her limit. But you, on the other hand, are you really not going to deal with that strange-looking thing next to you?" Kaguya had deliberately not restored Chen Li's ceiling precisely so she could watch the mysterious, squirming, vine-covered flowers that had spread across his bedroom floor.
To be honest, the flowers were quite beautiful, but the fact that their vines could move was truly disgusting. Why do you think Chen Li was eating in bed instead of getting up?
"Next time you plan on sending trash here for me to deal with, could you send something that can be preserved, not a living creature?" Chen Li complained to the heavens as he grabbed a vine, pulled it to his mouth, and took a bite. A flame of miracle ignited in his hand, instantly setting all the vines in the room ablaze.
"Tastes pretty good, though."
In just a few moments, the vines that had covered his entire room were burned to ashes, leaving behind only a crystal containing four Entries as proof of their existence.
[Devour], [Disguise], [Assimilate], [Dominate]
They certainly didn't seem like friendly Entries. Unfortunately for them, every world-destroying seed sent to Chen Li's room was truly just a seed. They might each have indestructible properties, but the Flame of Miracle loved to burn things like that.
[Heavenly Drop] Entry extraction in progress... Progress: 4/5
At the same time, his Star Stone count increased by 600.
"Sigh, the first thing I do every morning is receive a transfer of 600 Star Stones. At this rate, how will I ever spend them all?" Chen Li sighed, then opened the lid of the Holy Grail and took a sip of the black tea-flavored All the World's Evil.
Before going to bed last night, he had specifically gone to Haruhi Suzumiya's world to tell her that the flavor of the All the World's Evil in the Grail was determined by the last item you dropped into it. Haruhi had believed him without question.
And then, Chen Li discovered that the flavor of the evil really could be changed by the "seasoning" he added.
Man, tricking Haruhi is so cost-effective.
Chen Li still didn't know if Haruhi had fundamentally changed the nature of All the World's Evil within her own world, or if her power was continuously acting upon the Holy Grail. But figuring it out wouldn't be hard; he just had to wait until Haruhi took a trip to another world.
"If you can't spend all your Star Stones, you can give them to me. I can help you spend them," Kaguya said sourly.
Her reason for wanting Star Stones was different from the others. Kaguya wanted them to eat. According to her, Star Stones tasted absolutely delicious! And they could also be used to amplify her power over eternity.
"Oh, I can spend them. I just need to pull from the Starry Sea Treasure that costs 7,133 Star Stones and they'll be gone."
"That many Star Stones? Are you trying to pull out an Aeon's bone marrow? Speaking of which, why does that cup in your hand look so familiar?" Kaguya's gaze fell upon Chen Li's Holy Grail.
"Oh, this is a Holy Grail. The one with All the World's Evil."
"Holy crap, you dare to hold something so dangerous? Aren't you afraid a little bit will spill out and burn your house down?"
"Don't worry, I installed a lid, see?" Chen Li showed Kaguya the lid he had specially made for the Grail. It was a lid shaped like one from a trash can, woven from the merit of [The Cleaner]. An item designed to contain garbage, woven from the tool of [The Cleaner], was extremely effective at suppressing filth and sin, such as All the World's Evil. The effect was perfect.
"Whatever, it's your house, not mine. Just be careful. But how long will it take you to finish drinking All the World's Evil? It's supposed to be the malice of how many billions of people, again?"
"I forgot. But for now, the evil in the Grail is indeed endless. If I really wanted to get rid of it, I could just eat the whole thing, Grail and all. But I think the Grail has other uses," Chen Li said.
This was a genuine Holy Grail. Although its magical energy had been corrupted into All the World's Evil, and the energy would be depleted once the evil was gone, it could effectively become a wishing machine again if it were refilled with sufficient magical energy.
Chen Li didn't have sufficient magical energy, but he did have sufficient Honkai energy.
He wondered if the Holy Grail's effects would change to some extent if he charged it with Honkai energy. Another name for Honkai energy was "Honkai is omnipotent." No matter what ridiculous thing happened in the Honkai world, you could always blame it on Honkai energy. And Honkai energy was essentially Imaginary internal energy. A Holy Grail filled with that kind of power shouldn't be any worse than one from the Type-Moon world, right?
In that case, he could hold a Holy Grail War in the Honkai world in the future! The winner gets to become the Herrscher of Finality!
The only thing that concerned him was whether the Grail was durable enough to contain a portion of the Cocoon of Finality.
Maybe... he should trick Haruhi again?
The thought of his own sincere heart constantly deceiving Haruhi made Chen Li's conscience ache. But then again... just talking to Haruhi and giving her a few dozen Star Stones was a lot better than spending his own crystals to forge the Holy Grail into a Curio, right?
The choice was between a condemned conscience and a condemned wallet. Chen Li knew which one weighed less.
Love your brothers or love your gold? Love the gold!
"Just be careful not to screw up," Kaguya warned him before ceasing to suppress her power of eternity. The large hole between their rooms was instantly patched up.
"Speaking of which, what do you think would happen if I installed the [PRI-Arm] Entry onto the Holy Grail?" Chen Li looked at the Grail, then at the Entries he had in storage, and suddenly had a bold idea.
[You should be thinking about this instead: Honkai energy is Imaginary internal energy, a type of Imaginary energy. The Paths are also Imaginary energy. If you eat enough Honkai energy, will your Gourmet Cells turn you into a Pathstrider-killer, or even an Aeon-killer?]
"...You little brat, you want to see rivers of blood again, don't you?" After seriously considering the question, Chen Li suddenly realized something.
[What are you talking about? Miracle knows nothing at all~~]
"..." Chen Li could see the insincerity practically dripping from the spirit's text bubble, but its words did serve as a reminder...
[Miracle Assistant reminds you that it is now time to go to the Previous Era to beat up the southern mountain nursing home and kick down the northern sea kindergarten.]
"Oh, right. I almost forgot I promised Elysia I'd go pick up Vill-V today. Nearly slipped my mind completely."
Chen Li got out of bed with practiced ease, ready to start his busy day. Because he had so much to do, he simply chose to request a day off from the Divination Commission. This was absolutely not because he had promised Fu Xuan he would return her white stockings when he came to work and was therefore choosing not to go to work.
---o---
As Chen Li once again chose the Honkai world as his destination, the Miracle Card activated again, showing him the 20-odd Herrschers he could choose to challenge.
After some thought, Chen Li flipped over the card for the Second Herrscher of the next civilization.
The Second Herrscher, the Herrscher of the Void, was one option. After flipping past that, the card displayed three figures.
Herrscher of the Void Sirin, the Queen of the Void, and Kiana.
Chen Li wasn't worried at all. He felt that among these three forms, the only one he might not be able to defeat was the six-core Herrscher Sirin. The others would be a piece of cake. The mere Herrscher of the Void? There's no way I could mess this up, right?
"Oh, right, I forgot to feed Queenie... the Queen of the Void, today. Let me think, what would be good to feed her?"
Mulling over this topic, Chen Li chose to use the Miracle Beacon to teleport to the Flame-Chasers' base.
"Flame-Chasers, your daddy's here!"
In my last life, I suffered endless humiliation within the Flame-Chasers. Those incompetent higher-ups not only refused to fully obey my commands, they even dared to propose deals with me! After I graciously accepted their deals, they remained complacent, content with their pleasures, and squandered the good hand the Previous Era was dealt, ultimately leading to its demise.
This time, I have returned! I will use my supreme, invincible power to crush everything, to make the heavens and earth tremble, to make the universe submit! I will seize destiny in my own hands! I will take back everything that belongs to me, and everything that doesn't!
V me 50, and listen to my plan to conquer the female MANTISes of the Flame-Chasers!
____
V me 50 (v我50): A Chinese internet meme originating from a scam message. It has evolved to mean "fund my crazy plan" or "support me," often used ironically.