8:30 AM – The Parents' Reaction
Claire and Phil were in the kitchen when we came downstairs. Luke had already told them everything.
"Is it true?" Claire asked with a mix of surprise and emotion.
"Yes," Alex replied shyly.
"Since when?" Phil asked.
"Since now," I replied.
Claire approached Alex and hugged her.
"I'm so happy for you, honey," Claire said with tears in her eyes.
"Don't cry, Mom," Alex said with embarrassment.
"They're tears of happiness," Claire said.
Phil approached me and patted me on the shoulder.
"Welcome to the family, kid," Phil said with a smile.
"I'm not family yet," I said.
"You already are. You've been for years," Phil replied.
My mom and dad arrived at the Dunphy house an hour later. I had called them to tell them the news.
"Is it true?" Mom asked with emotion.
"Yes," I replied.
Mom hugged Alex tightly.
"Welcome to the family, Alex," Mom said with tears in her eyes.
"I'm not family yet," Alex said with embarrassment.
"You already are. You've been for years," Mom replied, repeating Phil's words.
Mark shook Phil's hand.
"Looks like we're going to be family," Mark said with a smile.
"Looks like it," Phil replied.
"Did you see the gift he gave your daughter?" Mark asked with pride.
"What gift?" Phil asked.
Mark showed him the box. Phil read the scroll.
"This is... this is beautiful," Phil said with surprise. "Where did you learn to be so romantic?"
"From my father," I replied.
Mark looked at me with pride.
"And from my mother," I added.
Mom smiled.
Claire took the scroll and read it.
"Alex, these are your words," Claire said with surprise.
"Yes. Leo put them together," Alex replied.
"It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen," Claire said with emotion. "Phil, you never wrote me a poem."
"I wrote you a song once," Phil replied defensively.
"It was the song from a shampoo commercial," Claire said.
"But I personalized it!" Phil exclaimed.
Everyone laughed.
The Hotel
Phil and Claire had decided to celebrate Valentine's Day at a hotel. Role play. Phil was calling himself Clive Bixby, a businessman. Claire was Juliana, a local housewife.
"Do you mind if I join you?" Phil said with an English accent in the hotel bar. "I'm Clive. Clive Bixby."
"I see. I'm Juliana," Claire replied flirtatiously.
"So, Clive, are you in town for a convention, or do you just forget your name a lot?" Claire said.
"The pretty kitty has claws. I like that," Phil replied.
At the other end of the hotel, Jay and Gloria were at the comedy club. David Brenner was on stage.
"Women with big butts live longer. Men who tell them that don't," David Brenner said.
Gloria was laughing. Jay, not so much.
"Did you read about this guy, a 91-year-old bank robber in Texas? Walks into a bank... 'What the hell did he want?' They had over 4,000 photos of him escaping the bank," David Brenner said.
People laughed. Jay still wasn't laughing.
"What's it like being married to someone who was there when the Bible was written? What was it called then? Just 'The Testament'?" David Brenner said, pointing at Jay.
Jay stood up and left the club.
"Jay, where are you going?" Gloria asked.
"Home," Jay replied with anger.
"Why? He was just joking," Gloria said.
"I don't feel like laughing anymore," Jay replied.
The Great Shakes Restaurant
Mitchell and Cameron were at the Great Shakes restaurant with Manny. Manny was depressed because a kid named Durkas had stolen his poem and given it to Fiona, the girl he liked.
"We're going to go to Great Shakes to find a table. Manny can win back the love of his life," Cameron said with enthusiasm.
"I don't know. Durkas is going to be there. I've seen the guy do a pull-up," Manny said with fear.
"Hey, Manny, it's Valentine's Day. It's not the day to run from love. It's the day to find it, tie it up, and take it home," Cameron said.
Mitchell made a fake call to Durkas, pretending to be a pollster.
"Mr. Durkas? This is Don Jolly from the Great Shakes corporate office. You've been selected to participate in a random survey where you could win cash and prizes," Mitchell said with a Southern accent.
Manny sat down with Fiona and Durkas.
"May I join you?" Manny asked.
"I guess so," Fiona replied.
"So, why would Ted say he wrote the poem if he didn't?" Manny asked.
"Maybe because you're the prettiest girl in school and you have a laugh that makes science lab feel like recess," Durkas said.
Fiona smiled. Manny sank into his seat.
Mitchell approached the table.
"Stop! Stop right there, sir! Sir, you have no right to claim ownership of someone else's work," Mitchell said with authority.
"Who are you?" Durkas asked.
"I'm a lawyer. Do you have a lawyer?" Mitchell replied.
"It's one thing to lie, but then to intimidate this young man... it's unforgivable," Mitchell said.
"Clearly, Ted Durkas didn't write that poem. I know it. He knows it. Deep in your heart, Fiona, you know it too. Shame on you!" Mitchell exclaimed.
"Fine. Whatever. I stole your stupid poem," Durkas admitted.
"Did you?" Fiona asked.
"I only did it because I had those feelings. I just didn't know how to show them," Durkas said.
"That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," Fiona said.
Manny stood with his mouth open.
"Let's get out of here. This girl is crazy," Cam said.
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Claire almost died. Phil wrote her a song from a shampoo commercial.
And Mitchell pretended to be a pollster. Cam filmed it all.
Who had the worst Valentine's Day? Jay with the comedian or Manny with Durkas? 💔🎤📝
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