When I woke up, I realized I was still inside the cage.
However, my cage is inside a huge, dungeon-like room.
It's cold.
I continued to huddle while lying down, trying to keep warm and at the same, comforting myself.
I'm alone.
The pack must have think that I'm horrifying and repulsive. I don't know. I didn't look at their reactions earlier.
Feeling hungry, I tried to chew the remains of my hair while observing my surroundings.
The room is empty, without any furniture and my cage is at the center, as if I'm the main attraction.
It's a bit dim inside as there's only a single torch near the door.
Cold... I'm feeling cold. They didn't give me a blanket to cover myself, nor a rug to sleep on.
I'm a beast to them.
To be honest, I don't know what I am anymore. Am I still human?
The door suddenly opened and it's Subus.
I don't want to look at her.
So I acted like she isn't there as I continued to chew on my hair.
She stood directly in front of me and stared until I felt so intimidated that I ended up asking her what she needed from me.
With a shrug, she told me that I always looked hideous.
What else is new?
Seeing that I'm not affected by her words, she sighed and asked me if I needed something.
I don't need her mercy! Oh, wait. On a second thought, I need her for something.
After a sigh, I asked her if she could cut my hair short.
Without hesitation, she did it using her magic.
To my surprise, the color of my hair is white. Not just white but extremely white.
As if the magic of the cage somehow removed the spell that prevented me from aging.
Instantly, I tried to touch my face and body but nothing else changed.
My hair turned white because of stress?
Could be.
It's possible.
....
Even though Subus didn't give me any food, she left me a bucket of water, just enough for me to drink a bit and to make myself presentable.
She didn't give me clothes either.
What do I expect from her? Kindness?
What a joke.
Soon, all sorts of hooded creatures and beings went inside, making me think that they were magic users, as their cloaks had runic designs on the edges.
What are they going to do with me?
Am I some sort of a freak show?
Thankfully, they stood at a distance but kept staring at me with fascination but malice in their eyes.
I felt fear but tried my best not to show it.
Afterwards, Maelsa came inside with Asmodeus, Subus and the pack behind him.
I tried not to look at the pack but out of the corner of my eye, I can see that they looked..
Broken.
No, the correct term would be destroyed.
I don't know how to feel about that.
They looked like walking shells of themselves as they followed Maelsa obediently.
Seeing them looking like that made me feel..
Furious.
THEY DONT HAVE ANY RIGHT TO FEEL LIKE THAT!
Does our story end up like this?!
If they just succumbed to their emotions then I might as well go knocking on the demon king's door.
Stupid, stupid, STUPID!
In my anger, I can feel myself starting to transform, despite the magic that was placed inside the cage. The cage rattles loudly while the magic users begin to panic as they prepare to attack me.
With my actions, the pack suddenly woke up, as if they were in a trance all along. They immediately formed a protective circle around my cage, trying to transform themselves.
I screamed in anger and pain as monster-like wings suddenly appeared on my back while my hands turned into a monster's claws.
Seeing that I partially transformed despite the negation magic that was placed on my cage, Maelsa looked extremely pleased, instead of being angry at my actions.
He gave a maniacal laugh and told everyone to settle down. As for the pack, he glared at them and told them not to get close to the most beautiful creation he had ever seen.
He.. is.. WEIRD.
Maelsa came near my cage and observed me with sheer delight, murmuring all sorts of unintelligible words while I tried my best not to transform completely despite my rage.
I hate this.
But I can't do anything about it as long as the transformation stone is still embedded on my forehead.
I'm a freak.
To everyone's surprise, he opened the door of my cage.
Why?
Is this a trick?
He grinned widely at me as he reached out towards me while I hesitantly took a step outside my cage.
When he took hold of my claws, something snapped inside me.
With intense rage from deep inside me, I suddenly grabbed his neck and lifted him high above me, making him choke though he seemed delighted by what I did.
EW!
He's a weirdo!
I looked at him with disgust and threw him towards the wall with all my might, destroying a bit of the wall in the process.
The magic users looked at me with contempt and began attacking me with all sorts of magic spells.
The pack defended me by attacking the magic users with magic while I calmly approached Maelsa.
This is it. Time for my long, awaited revenge.
Clenching my clawed hand into a fist, I was about to land a deadly punch, but his hand caught mine with no effort. He looked at me with a sinister smile and whispered in a strange language that I somehow understood.
Beautiful but a bit uncontrollable.
That's what he said to me.
What the..
I feel creeped out that I tried to land several punches on him but he easily avoided them.
Soon, we were engrossed in our actions, with him avoiding my attacks while I tried to land a punch on his nasty face.
He continued to grin at me with delight while I was getting more and more frustrated as time went by that the rest of my body was about to change completely into my monster form.
With all sorts of jeers and taunts from him, as if he wanted to test my limits, I slowly began to lose my sanity again, roaring in anger and frustration towards him as my attacks became more aggressive and mindless.
All sorts of chaotic spells erupted from me while Maelsa continued to taunt me, uninjured. He must have placed a protection spell on himself.
The magic users stopped their attacks and hurriedly exited the room in fear.
As for Asmodeus and Subus, they guarded the door while observing the whole exchange with interest.
I've become a total monster, consumed by thoughts of wrath, revenge, destruction and the need for relief from pain.
But somehow, a small speck of humanity still remained in me that even though I roared in insanity, tears kept falling, much to Maelsa's surprise.
Suddenly, something seemed to push me to the ground and bound my extremities with a magic rope while I kept thrashing around in madness though the tears didn't stop falling.
Something heavy is on my back.
With a huge amount of effort from me, I tried to glance around and saw Lion on his ultimate form, pinning me down.
WHAT IS HE DOING?!
He made a sound that seemed to me like he was sobbing.
GET AWAY FROM ME!!!
Despite my tears, I kept on thrashing around. With a bit of effort, I broke the magic ropes that bound my extremities and gave a huge kick towards Lion, setting myself free.
I still can't forget that he almost killed me, even though he didn't know that it was me.
What happened next is a bit of blur.
It's like seeing a movie in fast forward.
Lion and I fought, but it was mostly me acting out while he simply tried to pin me down, to prevent me from falling further into insanity.
I unleashed all the pain and frustration I felt on him. Knowing that he wouldn't fight back, I took advantage of it and tried to hurt him.
And yes, I did but not physically.
The rest of the pack tried to intervene but Lion simply roared at them, as if he were telling them that he would handle it alone.
AS HE SHOULD!
But the longer we fought, the more he realized that I was descending fast toward a point of no return.
Sounds of my madness echoed throughout the room, making Maelsa laugh in glee as if he is truly enjoying the show.
He commented that it was simply remarkable and marvelous, that a new creation such as myself astounded him.
What a sicko!
At this point, Lion decided to allow the rest of the pack to help him or else I would have become a monster permanently.
It took a long time, but after a difficult fight, they finally succeeded.
As a final act of revenge against them, in my madness and pain, I transformed myself back into a human and smirked at them, asking if they were killing me for real this time.
Lion was pinning me to the ground with his claw when I unexpectedly transformed back into a human.
I told him to continue with what he did before as they can't get the transformation stone without killing me.
Horror and despair filled the pack's eyes as they suddenly realized that what I said is true.
I taunted them to kill me, while deep inside my mind, I was horrified by my actions and words.
I'm not like this! This is not me at all!
Yes, they hurt me. But they didn't know that it was me!
Yet, the influence of the corrupted transformation stone is much stronger.
They finally broke down when I reminded them that by killing me, nobody would meddle in their lives anymore and they could do what they want.
How petty.
But much to my shame, letting everything out felt good, though at what cost?
Some words are better left unsaid while others require a careful thought before being spoken.
At this point, I don't know how my words affected them, as Maelsa used magic to place me under a spell that knocked me out.
.....
I was placed inside a small room.
Despite being small, I'm thankful that at least I'm not placed inside a cage like some sort of freak.
Besides the cuff around my neck, one of my ankles had a chain attached to the wall.
Thankfully, my transformation stone seems to quiet down, making me think rationally after a long time.
What happened to me? I've change for the worse.
Right now, I'm sitting on my bed and staring at the door.
There's no window in my room and nothing else to look at as the walls are bare, no furnishings at all.
Even the bed itself is plain, with only a thin sheet covering it.
With nothing else to do, I huddled with my knees towards my chest, as if I'm trying to make myself small.
I'm pathetic.
It's like a huge part of myself was drained and was replaced by something that is foreign to me.
What happens to me after this?
Dad... Where are you? Save me!
Anybody!
Oh, wait.. maybe I deserve to be here..
I'm alone now.
Maybe I shouldn't have tried to defend myself. I should have let the pack kill me at that time.
Everything is a mess.
Maybe they will throw me away.
It's all my fault.
I'm a monster. I'm hideous. I'm disgusting.
I don't know who I am anymore.
I sobbed for a long time.
...
Despite trying not to do it, I ended up biting my arms again.
I'm insane.
Heh.
I was so engrossed in biting and chewing on my arms that I didn't hear the door open.
Without interest, I looked at the individual trying to approach me then continued on biting myself more fiercely.
It's Lion.
He was about to stop me from biting myself when without looking at him, I told him in a low voice not to touch me.
The sounds of my biting and chewing sounded too loud.
Despite my trying to ignore him, he held out his arms and told me to bite him instead.
He's trying to manipulate me! He knows that I won't bite him!
I stopped chewing and told him that his arms don't taste very good.
He knelt on the floor and mumbled that maybe I should cook his arms instead of eating them raw as they might taste better.
Dummy.
But he succeeded in making me stop biting myself.
.....
Healing doesn't come easily. Especially forgiveness.
And Lion knew that.
Also, no amount of tears, excuses or reasons will make everything go back to the way it was.
Something changed.
But is it going to make us strong or will it cause distance between us?
Time will tell.
Both of us are in pain. He's broken while I'm suffering.
Since there are no window, Lion keeps updating me on whether it's morning or evening and how many days I've been here.
I don't want to know.
Still, he leaves every morning, perhaps due to his work at the palace and returns at night, or so he says.
He sleeps here but on the floor.
We don't talk much. Actually it's him who does all the talking, as I haven't talked to him since the time I told him that his arms don't taste very good.
To pass the time, he tried to update me about his day despite me ignoring him.
Somehow, he understood and he doesn't talk to me that much anymore.
He just sat down and stared at the wall before falling asleep because of exhaustion. Sometimes he didn't sleep at all.
He just sat there... until it's time for him to go back to work.
When he first stayed here, he always told me that he had to go and would be back later.
Until he didn't anymore and then he just left.
It hurts.
Both of us are hurting and we don't know what to do.
I want to reach out to him for comfort but something is trying to hold me back. I somehow remembered the intense pain that I felt when he tried to burn me alive.
What shall I do?
It's not pride that's holding me back but fear.
Fear of getting hurt again by him and fear of hurting him with my insanity.
Maybe it's better if the demon king will take me now.
I'm so.. pathetic.
...
Lion's visits inside my room are getting shorter and shorter until there are times that he didn't show up.
I know that it will eventually come to this point.
We are too hurt, too damaged and too traumatized by everything that happened.
As for the rest of the pack? I haven't heard from them.
They don't want me anymore.
I still have my mating marks from them though but maybe the emotions are not there anymore.
I'm alone.. truly.
I sobbed for a long time until it knocked me out.
....
I dreamed that I was back at the place where the high council experimented on me. The pain seemed so vivid, too vivid that I tried to fight off whoever was pinning me down, begging for mercy and a quick death.
Then suddenly, I woke up crying and saw Lion embracing me tightly as he tried to comfort me.
I flinched and tried to push him away when he held me tighter, tears falling down his face as he told me that it didn't matter if I hurt him or pushed him now, he would continue to hold on to me.
He said that if hurting him will bring me comfort, then I'm more than welcome to hurt him as much as I like as he won't do anything to me.
I didn't say anything but turned my back on him as I faced the wall.
He placed his head on my shoulder and continued to sob, as if his heart is being pulled out of his chest.
Between his sobs, he apologized for everything, including embracing me without permission, telling me that he is pathetic and a worthless mate.
He admitted that he doesn't know what to do anymore and understood why I am like this, as what he did is truly unforgivable.
To be honest, I already forgave him but yeah.. I'm still feeling hurt about what he did.
But I have a choice here. If I let this go by, then our relationship won't ever heal. I know that pain doesn't disappear instantly with a simple sorry and forgiveness. It takes time to repair the damage the action has caused.
Repairing the damage is easier if both of us work together. It's a long road ahead, but a first step will start the healing process.
It's not only I who've been hurt but also he. If I were in his shoes.. yeah.. I would feel the same way.
I would feel shame and rage towards myself, as well as an intense fear of losing someone who is my entire life.
Maybe it's time for me to stop being silly if I want to continue our relationship.
I slowly turned towards him and tenderly embraced him.
He stopped sobbing and didn't move, as if he was afraid of scaring me away with his actions.
Gently, I caressed his head for several moments while his tears continued to flow.
In a small voice, I told him that I had already forgiven him a long time ago and no, it's not pride that's holding me back, but fear.
I admitted to him that I'm afraid of being hurt by him again but at the same time, I'm also terrified of hurting him because of my insanity. I told him that I'm way too damaged at this point and that I can't blame him if he decided to stop being my...
At this point, he embraced me tightly, saying no, he wouldn't do that. He insisted that he had decided long ago that he would stay with me, in joy or in sorrow, for eternity.
And if I'm insane then he's way more than that. As despite my insanity, I can still manage not to kill anyone and even try not to hurt them as much as I could, according to him.
We talked for a long time, pouring out our hurts and thoughts until we both admitted that it feels lonely without the other.
Once again, we apologize to each other and agreed that we have a long journey of healing, but at least we won't be alone.
Then we both nuzzled each other and fell asleep in each other's arms.