"I just assumed you started killing for hire once you got here," Kai said, sounding awestruck.
"I'm over nine hundred years old Kai, what do you think I did to pass the time? Your world isn't all that interesting, killing people holds back boredom," the saddest part was it was entirely true. She had killed solely for the purpose of giving herself something to do. No one who knew her ever claimed she was a good person. She at least only tried to kill bad people when she was bored. Anyone was fair game when she was hungry though.
Shaking his head to clear it, Jaia squinted at her.
"Just how many people have you killed?"
"Recreationally, professionally, or for food?" she asked, somewhat wary of the turn the conversation had taken.
"All!" Kai barked and she looked between the two.
"A lot," she said evasively.
"How many is 'a lot'?" Jaia asked, his own expression turning wary.
"I didn't keep track…" she lied. She had kept track of them all, every last one.
"You're lying," Kai said and she slumped back in the chair, her arms crossed.
"Why are you picking on me?" she complained, knowing they were curious.
"We'll stop when you tell us," Jaia quipped and she glared at him.
Letting out a low breath, she scowled.
"Fine. I've killed one human roughly once a month for the past 900-odd years for food. That's what? Ten and a half thousand? Boredom accounts for around half that again, and then there are the professional kills and there are around fifteen hundred of those," seeing their expressions, she got defensive. "Nine hundred years is a long time to be stalking your world you know. It's not like I could steal food from Ceress and bring it here with me."
"Ceress has food you can eat?" Jaia said suddenly and she suspected he was trying not to focus on her significant undercounting of her actual kill count.
"Of course, pulling humans from this world into ours would be too obvious when it came to feeding that many people. I suspect Epharis came up with a food source very similar to the fruits that grow there. It's not that different really when souls are simply a shred of faerie given sentience," she looked up from examining her toes to see the two staring at her. "What?"
"That's not what souls are," Kai said, sounding horrified.
"Of course they are," she looked between the two, confused by their disturbed expressions. "You hadn't figured that out? And here I was thinking you two were some of the smartest men in both worlds."
The silence stretched on and she was back to wiggling her toes, the movement's sole purpose of keeping her mind off her memories.
"No! That's not what souls are!" Kai cried, standing and she looked up. He was angry now and she shrank back, sudden panic filling her at the sight of his anger.
"Why are you so upset? What did you think souls were except magic?"
He clenched his fists and she tensed, ready to move and move she did. He had only meant to brush his hair back, but she had already leapt over the back of the couch and flattened herself against the wall as far away from him as possible, her heart racing.
Kai had frozen at her retreat, her defensive posture and connected the dots.
"Oh Etani I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."
She couldn't really hear him, her heart was pounding in her ears and her chest felt tight.
Sinking to sit on her heels, she stared down at the floor as she tried to breathe but it was getting harder by the second and her mind was racing, flicking from thought to thought and then delving viciously into terrors of Kai's face on Drizdan's body as he beat her, hearing his sadistic joy as he taunted her and Epharis over what he had done to their child.
Crossing her arms on top of her knees, she buried her face in them and focused on trying to breathe, her lungs feeling horribly insufficient to get in enough air, the sound of her gasping was incredibly loud in the silent room.
***
A hand touched her shoulder and she jerked away so violently she nearly fell, eyes wild as she found Jaia standing beside her, his hand outstretched.
"Shh, it's okay," he crooned and she immediately latched onto the sound of his voice in a desperate plea for something, anything to focus on.
"Talk…" she gasped and he dropped onto his backside beside her.
She didn't listen to what he said so much as the sound of his voice itself, slow and even with a gentleness one used around frightened animals. It was working on her, the minutes ticking by and he talked constantly.
When the door opened, Kai flung out his hand to Versalis who immediately went still, sensing the tension in the room and finding them in the corner, the loud sound of her breathing as it finally started to calm.
"That's not how you fix this," Versalis said, crossing the room and picking down a trinket from the shelf.
He approached slowly, offering it to her and when she took it, he backed away again.
The thing shimmered in her hands as she spun it, her attention focusing on the way the candlelight shone from its polished surface. She found a tiny seam in the wood and opened it slowly, a waft of spice reaching her nose.
Lifting it, she took a deep breath of the spicy scent and her shoulders eased.
"What was that?" Kai asked, looking terrified.
"Haven't you ever seen the men after war? They look exactly like that. You give them something to play with, it usually helps."
She opened and closed the little hinge, admiring at the craftsman working the wood so well that it fit together that perfectly.
Looking up from the little circular box, she found Versalis and then Kai, her smile slightly nervous and apologetic.
"I'm sorry Kai, I didn't mean to do that."
Jaia wrapped his arms around her and she dropped to her hip, leaning against him even as he pulled her to him.
"I should have realised, I didn't mean to get angry," Kai approached her slowly, anxious but she extended her empty hand to him and he took it, pressing her fingers against his lips.
"You two need to keep calm for a while, no getting anxious or yelling. It will take time," Versalis said, coming back now that it was safe to do so.
Sitting down on the floor in front of her, Kai sat on her other side and she felt incredibly safe with them on every side and the wall at her back.
Offering Kai the little circular box, he shook his head.
"Keep it, you might need it again."
Smiling, she slipped it into her pocket and reached out, drawing Versalis closer and kissing his cheek, not entirely sure of him, but grateful none the less.
Giving a little pleased sound, he pulled a flask from his pocket and handed it over.
Taking it, she opened the cap and peeked inside, the smell of the strange elixir Epharis had made her hitting her nose. She made a happy sound in her throat and lifted it to her lips, drinking around half of it in one go before she leaned against Jaia once more, content in their little group.
"How long do you think it will be before Epharis comes looking?" Kai asked and when she went stiff, he looked panicked.
She didn't want to talk about it and so she shook her head.
"I don't want to see him right now," no, not until she was strong enough to rip his lying head off his lying body and then gleefully follow him into death.
"We'll make sure he stays out," Versalis said and she noticed he had lumped himself in with them, making the four of them one unit. She rather liked that.
"Careful Versalis, you don't want to associate with the crazies. You're the most normal one of the lot of us," she quipped.
Jaia snorted and hugged her tighter to himself.
"I'm normal!" Kai cried, looking put out but then he thought about it. "Mostly," he compensated.
She laughed with the others, at least until the guilt hit her and she cut off suddenly.
She could feel their concern, but she couldn't bring herself to talk about it, not yet.
***
A week passed with her staying down there with at least one of the three vampires, Kai and Jaia not always able to get out of their duties.
She was fine so long as she wasn't alone and they made sure that was the case, even when she bathed.
It turned out that Versalis was the most competent of the group when it came to handling her, his experience in active war leading him to all sorts of tricks on how she could get herself out of a panicked state or able to keep herself present. He was even good with her nightmares, calming her down and getting her back to sleep quickly. Kai was the worst, blaming himself for not being able to find her, his fears for his brother overlaying any concerns he had for her and the missing Prince.
She didn't blame him, he was loyal and sweet, but not very good at looking after a damaged, sometimes violent Fae.
She had been having an episode, screaming at Versalis not to touch her after he had tried to help her up from the couch when a knock came at the door.
Instantly she fell silent, barely breathing. She and Versalis were alone and while he was a very strong vampire, she didn't know the full extent of his powers.
"Open the door," Alaric said, and immediately she was on her feet, eyes blazing that he would dare. He would dare!
Stalking towards the door, she had made it halfway there before Versalis caught her around the waist and spun her, his lips hot against her ear.
"Don't make a sound, it could be a trap."
Instilling terror into her, she immediately headed to Jaia's room, hiding behind the half closed door.
Versalis opened the door and Alaric shoved his way in, glaring around the room.
"Where is she?" he snarled.
"Where is who, your majesty?" he asked calmly.
Convincing herself that he could hear her breathing, she held her breath and listened.
"The Princess, Etani"
"I haven't seen her in a while," Versalis lied smoothly. She had to admit, she admired his ability to lie like that in the face of Alaric's rage.
"I heard a woman's voice."
"That was me play acting," Versalis didn't miss a beat and she almost laughed.
"Is that right?" Alaric said doubtfully.
She didn't think Alaric believed him, but she knew he wouldn't want to start anything with the vampires. A war with the vampires would be catastrophic with the threat of war already looming.
"If you happen to see her, please tell her I need to see her," Alaric said, his tone angry.
"Certainly your majesty" Versalis said and bowed the King out.
Only once she was sure he was gone did she come back out, hugging the startled vampire.
He hugged her back tightly and they settled in to read.
Epharis arrived the next day and he too was politely told she wasn't there. This time by Jaia who wasn't quite as diplomatic.
"My wife belongs by my side, vampire," Epharis snapped when he was told for the third time that she wasn't in there.
"Then I suggest you go find her," Jaia hissed back, refusing to give.
"Tell her, make sure she knows I want her back with me."
When he left, she remained in the room, toying with the box and working hard to get her thoughts in order again.
Another week passed and still she hid out, worrying that she was inconveniencing them but they were adamant that she stay for the rest of eternity if that is what it took. But she felt she were a strain on them.
Versalis seemed to feel the same way, as he was spending more and more time out of the suite.
Still, they were careful to never leave her alone if they could help it.