Xu Changqing didn't understand the mentality of 'I'm happy when you're miserable.' Perhaps she had been twisted for a long, long time.
She watched Xu Baimei, who had never before had to wash clothes by the riverbank at dusk, her movements flustered and clumsy. She listened to the furious curses mixed in with the frantic footsteps.
Xu Changqing felt she had never been so refreshed. 'I must be pretty sick myself,' she thought. 'This is bad. Very bad. Incredibly bad.'
'In this life, I shouldn't live with so much hatred. The people I care about are all by my side. This is the greatest blessing heaven has given me. I shouldn't—I can't—fall back into that pit.'
It wasn't being wrong that was scary, but the thought of her mindset becoming more and more warped without her even realizing it. Back in Changqing Garden, Xu Changqing quietly busied herself with planting as she reflected on her behavior.
