The thirteenth planet had appeared.
Its arrival, and the gravity it generated, had already begun affecting the entire star system.
On the hololithic simulation, the projected result had changed. Under their original calculations, the planet that had been flung away would, quite amusingly, ricochet off the others in this system.
In the end, every single planet would tumble straight into that hole of a star.
But now, because this new planet had appeared, its gravitational interference had ruined their game.
The recalculated result showed only total orbital chaos. Not a single planet would successfully fall into the star.
Their carefully arranged game had been destroyed, and that made them furious beyond words.
"WAAAGH!!!"
They roared as one, determined to punish that planet brutally.
They very nearly activated the super-gravity cannon and blew the world apart on the spot.
But it was too close. If they fired now, they would get caught in it themselves.
They reveled in violence and destruction, yes, but they were not mindless to the point of having no reason at all.
So they changed the plan. They would dismember the planet into fragments.
No, that felt too merciful.
They decided to reshape it instead, to mutilate the planet until it was hideous and unrecognizable.
They would erect enormous statues across its surface as well, all posed in deliberately insulting stances.
The question was, what statues should they make?
"…WAAAGH!!!"
One of them shouted out a particularly interesting proposal, followed by the signature battle cry.
The suggestion was this: they should build a statue of that one thing the humans called the Emperor, and depict humanity's worshiped god being ridden by them.
The idea won immediate, enthusiastic approval from countless others.
"…WAAAGH!!!"
Another excellent suggestion followed. Why not just remodel the entire planet into one giant lump of filth?
Then they could hurl the world straight into human territory.
After that, even more entertaining suggestions for humiliation began pouring in.
But there were too many. Choosing between them had become a problem in itself.
Still, one thing had to be done first. They had to seize the planet before it vanished or escaped as well.
A gravity lash whipped out, tearing viciously through the planet's crust and driving deep into it to hook fast.
That was when the anomaly appeared.
The side of the planet facing them began to split open. This was clearly not natural planetary collapse. Some force was controlling the world itself and forcing it apart.
The motion resembled a closed flower slowly opening its petals in bloom.
Through the widening seams, they could see metallic structures inside.
It looked as though the interior was a gigantic metal sphere-prison, now spreading open a monstrous maw in an attempt to swallow them whole.
"WAAAGH!!!"
An order was barked at once. The massive fortress had to pull away immediately.
But they were too close, and the planet itself seemed to be drawing nearer under some counterforce.
That left only one option. Attack the planet.
Countless weapons erupted at once. Lasers, shells, gravity lashes, all of it poured into the world in a frenzy.
But the barrage failed to stop the planet from trying to devour them.
The firepower was not enough to halt its functions, nor enough to destroy it outright.
It was not that their weapons lacked the necessary power. It was that the range was too short. At this distance, unleashing enough force to destroy a planet would mean the resulting detonation would annihilate them as well.
So an even more extreme order followed. Every warship other than the Attack Moon was to ram it directly and cripple its functions.
Yet another change occurred.
Those "petals" that had already begun opening bore enormous structures that looked like engines, and suddenly they ignited.
Vast beams of plasma blasted out, like fangs lining the petals, intercepting the suicide-charge vessels.
With that, the transformation became even clearer. It really did look like a planet opening a gigantic, tooth-filled maw to eat them alive.
"WAAAGH!!!"
Fire the super-gravity cannon!
"WAAAGH!!!"
Another roar drowned that one out, rejecting the proposal.
Because this thing, was it not even more interesting than their Attack Moon?
They should capture it. Make it theirs!
That cry won even more support immediately, because every last one of them had fallen in love with this gigantic planetary toy, a thing that could bite.
No, not bite.
Eat planets.
Something this entertaining would be a terrible waste to destroy.
As for the Attack Moon being swallowed, let it be swallowed. If that was the price for obtaining something even better, then so be it.
They were utterly convinced this thing would belong to them in the end.
"WAAAGH!!!"
"WAAAGH!!!"
"WAAAGH!!!"
Preparations for a landing began at once. A war of seizure was about to begin.
Hm?
Now it was starting to bite down shut, and more colossal energy exhaust structures could be seen activating. More lances of light stabbed inward.
For a time, the entire Attack Moon was erupting with explosions and fire. Countless of their kind were dying.
But the sight only excited them more.
This was unbelievably fun!!!
At the same time, the Imperial fleet watching all this unfold could only stare in stunned silence.
"It's like a Venus flytrap. Once the prey gets close, it swallows the giant beast…"
Someone in the vox channel tried to describe it that way.
"No, no. This is a better comparison. An iron maiden. This is a planetary-scale iron maiden execution."
The iron maiden was an ancient method of torture, one that still existed even now.
The Imperium still employed it in the interrogation of certain prisoners.
It was a metal coffin-like device that could be tailored to match the size of its intended victim.
Once opened, the interior revealed metal spikes welded all throughout it. After the victim was forced inside, the device was closed, and the target suffered a piercing torment that riddled them with wounds.
What they were witnessing now was exactly that, on a planetary scale.
The greenskins' Attack Moon was swallowed whole, and those countless lances of light drove savagely into its interior, impaling it until it burst apart.
But that alone was nowhere near enough to exterminate greenskins, creatures even harder to get rid of than cockroaches.
If anything, the Attack Moon would just explode into chunks and spatter greenskins all across the planet.
Still, at the very least, the great threat of the Attack Moon had been neutralized. Seizing this mechanical world would now be far less difficult.
Suddenly, the laser lances that had looked like nails of light began flickering as though they were running out of energy. Then they retracted and vanished.
That was bad.
A massive tide of greenskins was already pouring out from the wrecked Attack Moon, swarming like locusts across every corner of the planet, inside and out.
Just as the Salamanders captain was preparing to issue the order to attack, a new development appeared.
Those devices that no longer seemed capable of firing light-lances had instead begun emitting microwaves, rapidly heating the interior of the planet.
In other words, it had now become a planetary microwave oven.
(End of Chapter)
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