The first day I saw her—Aria—something happened in my mind. I tried hard to ignore her presence. I knew she kept looking at me, but I still avoided her. It wasn't that I hated her presence or found her annoying… I just wasn't ready to build any kind of relationship with anyone especially love. I had already decided to stay away from that stuff. Maybe she would understand.
After she left the town the whole house felt silent. Her parents missed her desperately. Sometimes, when I stood on the roof, looking down at the courtyard, I would hear Aunty calling her again and again but Aria kept declining her calls. It made me angry. And jealous. Jealous of how she had everything—a mother, a father, a little brother… a family. The most important thing. And me? I had nothing. My hands were empty. There's no one I can hold on to anymore. I've already lost everything that once belonged to me.
I was just roaming around my room, walking back and forth. I lit a cigarette and looked out the window, trying to relax my mind. Rain was dripping onto the ground outside, and the garden lights flickered. Music was playing—the only sound in the room. The ashes from my cigarette slowly filled the air, making the small space feel heavy and suffocating. It had become a habit to live like this. Like a beggar… or one of those unsheltered people who sleep on the streets.
I smiled at the thought. I had once slept on the roadside too. It was actually an adventure for me back then—when I decided to leave home, not knowing where to go… or rather, having no place to go.
I chuckled softly. In my other hand was a glass of wine. I took slow sips, then exhaled smoke like a villain.
"That's it," I muttered, throwing the cigarette into the dustbin without even looking.
Now all I had left was the wine. I gulped it down in one swift swallow and placed the glass on the table. Then, I picked up my phone.
It was off.
I turned it on.
99+ missed calls—all from my Uncle Shahid. But I didn't call him back. I only checked the call logs to see if my brother had called me.
I turned on my phone only to know whether he had called or not.
How is he?
Is he doing well?
Is he eating properly?
Is he in trouble?
These thoughts popped into my mind every minute.
I had turned from my brother's hero into his villain. He wished I was dead. He wished I had never been born. He wished I had died instead of Mom and Dad.
He's my younger brother. It's his choice to hate me. And I'm ashamed… not because of the accident—it wasn't my fault—but because I didn't stop myself from hating him back.
After the accident, when he stopped talking to me, why did I let it happen? Why didn't I go to him and try to understand his pain?
Instead, I distanced myself. But the bond of a family is built through conversations. If you stop talking, if you keep your distance… the family breaks.
I wish I had talked to him.
Maybe we're both just waiting for each other…
Waiting to see who starts the conversation first.
Sigh—I breathed heavily, trying to calm myself. But the thought alone made me more anxious.
There were some pills I had been taking lately.
I didn't even know if they worked or not… but I swallowed them anyway.
Two… sometimes three pills a day.
Suddenly, someone knocked on my door.
I was startled.
I opened it.
It was Ryaan. (Babu.)
"What happened?" I asked, confused.
"We need to talk," he said seriously.
I nodded and closed the door behind us. We both went into the storeroom. There were already two chairs there—he sat on one, and I sat on the other.
"Look…" He cleared his throat. "I'm Mimi… I mean, Aria's younger brother." He coughed awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.
"But I know what you're trying to do. So please, stay away from her… Shadow. Or you will regret it."
He was threatening me.
"Ahh… I'm not trying to do anything," I replied, caught off guard.
"Then why did you give her extra meals? And say, 'You're looking thin'?"
He mimicked me—not in my voice, but enough to tease and taunt.
"I was just being nice… We were friends. But only for a few days. Then we both decided to end it."
He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you saying it like you two were lovers who fell apart?"
"No, I mean—we were trying to be friends. But our hobbies didn't match. We're completely different people. So we dropped the whole… thing."
"Ohh, you think I believe that?" He smirked. "Oh, grown man…" He leaned closer. "Look—I don't have a problem if you two are together.
But the main problem is… not now. I mean—I'm still young. I just can't digest the idea that my sister's love might be shared with someone else!"
He glared at me.
"YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?"
"Yes, I understand, Ryaan," I said quietly.
The possessiveness in his voice… the obsession in his eyes—it wasn't just protective, it was intense. But in a strange way, I smiled at that thought.
It was beautiful.
To have someone like that—someone who could threaten the whole world for you, stand between you and anything that dared to touch you.
She's lucky.
So damn lucky.
In that moment, I realized… it wasn't love I felt.
It was jealousy.
Not for her… but for the kind of love she received. The kind I never did.
The kind where someone looks at you like you're their entire world.
The kind where someone knocks on doors, walks into rooms, and says "Stay away from her"—like you're important enough to be warned.
Like you matter in someone's universe.
That's what I envied.
Not Aria. Not even her smile or her presence.
But her position in someone else's life.
Ryaan was still glaring at me, waiting for me to respond.
But I just sat there, my lips curled slightly in a bitter smile.
He tilted his head. "Why are you smiling?"
"Nothing," I said. "It's just… you really care for her, huh?"
"She's my sister. I don't need to explain."
"No, you don't," I replied. "But still… it's rare to see someone like you. The way you stormed in… ready to punch or threaten… that's not ordinary. That's… love, in its rawest form."
He narrowed his eyes, sensing something in my tone.
"Don't get any ideas," he warned.
"I'm not," I said quickly. "I already told you… Aria and I tried to become friends. But we didn't match. That's it."
There was a long silence.
Then he stood up. "Good. Keep it that way."
As he turned to leave, I remained seated, staring at the wall.