Chapter 445: Lightning Oppression Horizontal Chiyo Dance
Although Hozuki Gengetsu had originally humbled himself and become one of Granny Chiyo's suitors in order to investigate Uchiha Madara's scheme. Something like this only needed one person to do it.
It wasn't like strength came from numbers.
Since Sarutobi Hiruzen was willing to step up, there was no need for him to join the mess.
Just look at Sarutobi Hiruzen. In order to expose Uchiha Madara's conspiracy, he was even willing to snatch someone away in broad daylight inside Sunagakure.
Kidnapping people—that was the Raikage's specialty.
"I think it'd be better to send her to Kumogakure instead."
Jiraiya suddenly chimed in.
"Jiraiya, you?!"
Hearing this right after declaring that he and his disciple would stand together to guard Granny Chiyo's camp, Sarutobi Hiruzen felt utterly betrayed. He stared at Jiraiya in shock.
Jiraiya completely ignored Hiruzen's confused gaze.
If Sarutobi Hiruzen wanted to guard Granny Chiyo's camp, then he could do it himself. Why drag him into it too?
Originally, for the safety of the ninja world, he could still make a small sacrifice.
But now that someone else was taking over, why should he still have to go?
Spending too much time around an old woman was extremely damaging to one's mental and emotional health.
What if he ended up unable to write a proper novel afterward? Or worse, what if his novels mutated because his soul had been corrupted? Who would take responsibility for that?
After enduring this whole Granny Chiyo incident, he didn't even know how many trips to the red-light district it would take to cleanse his spirit again.
If this continued, he might suffer permanent trauma.
No way. Absolutely no way.
"What does this have to do with Kumogakure? Weren't they the only village that didn't send anyone this time?"
Roshi voiced his confusion.
"That just proves how naive you all are."
Jiraiya closed his eyes and shook his head with an air of profundity.
If not for the fact that he currently had lips swollen like Kakashi's sausage-mouth, the pose would actually have looked convincing.
"Think about it carefully. We all know now that those of us who came here don't actually admire Granny Chiyo romantically.
"So if you reverse that logic, then the village that didn't send anyone must be the one with someone who truly admires Granny Chiyo."
"..."
"What kind of bullshit logic is that?"
After hearing this, Hozuki Gengetsu felt like his brain was fighting itself and couldn't help blurting it out.
"Relax, I've got evidence too. The Raikage has a move called 'Lightning Abuse Level: Chiyo Dance.' Think carefully about the name of that technique."
Jiraiya waved his hand and revealed what he considered his true proof.
"Lightning abuse what?"
"That's... pretty hardcore."
"Hiss…"
Everyone sucked in a cold breath.
Just hearing the name made it sound indecent.
Not only did it imply an improper relationship, it even hinted at some rather niche preferences.
Even Granny Chiyo, who had been calmly enjoying the drama moments ago, shuddered upon hearing it.
Damn it all, there's even a lightning abuse segment?!
She had absolutely no intention of experiencing something like that!
"Then what does 'Level' mean?"
Hozuki Gengetsu asked.
"Uh…"
"Level, obviously! Don't tell me you people don't even know what that means. You're supposed to be some of the strongest people in the ninja world, and yet you need me to explain that too?"
"Honestly, if you didn't know, you should've just said so earlier. If you'd asked me sooner, I would've told you sooner."
"If you don't say anything, how am I supposed to know you don't know? Right? Doesn't that make sense?"
As Jiraiya rambled in circles, his brain worked furiously at full speed. His imagination as a novelist had reached its absolute limit.
Finally, just before everyone lost patience and beat him up, he came up with an explanation.
"The meaning of 'Level' actually refers to Onoki."
"Onoki?"
Roshi looked surprised, then eagerly turned to Jiraiya.
"Quick, explain!"
"Like I said earlier, the one who didn't come is the one who truly admires Granny Chiyo."
"You think Onoki left earlier to monitor Uchiha Madara?"
"No!"
"He withdrew halfway because he refused to use his pure love for Granny Chiyo as a tool against Uchiha Madara!"
"He didn't want to taint this sacred love!"
"So the moment Onoki realized that we shared the same objective, he immediately retreated. And because he realized we weren't genuinely in love with Granny Chiyo and wouldn't compete with him, he also didn't have to worry about getting cuckolded!"
"Now think about Onoki's title, 'The Two Scales'!"
"That title praises his ability to perfectly balance two extremes."
"The lightness and heaviness of his Earth Release, the toughness and compromise in his political methods… all of that is the source of his title, Two Scales."
"Two Scales means a balance."
"But actually, 'balance' isn't quite accurate."
"A balance can still tilt. Only 'level' is truly unbiased and even."
"The true meaning behind Onoki's 'Two Scales' is a perfectly level balance."
"That 'Level' refers to Onoki!"
"..."
After Jiraiya finished speaking, everyone fell silent.
This… somehow sounded a little convincing.
"Then why would the Raikage use lightning abuse on Onoki and Chiyo?"
Hozuki Gengetsu pressed further.
"Because they're enemies!"
This time Jiraiya answered instantly without even thinking.
Right now, inspiration was pouring out of him like a flood.
It was as if he had finally discovered the source of inspiration behind Kakashi's scandalous underground "Buff Man" book series.
So this was how that kind of thing was written!
What a rush!
"The Third Raikage, who was the father of the current Fourth Raikage, was exhausted to death by Iwagakure through sheer human wave tactics."
"Think about it. When the Third Raikage fought to his final moment, do you think he committed suicide before dying?"
"Or do you think he left himself with no strength whatsoever, dedicating even his final ounce of power to killing Iwa ninja?"
"With the Third Raikage's unyielding personality, it had to be the latter, right?"
"So after the Third Raikage collapsed from chakra exhaustion, do you really think the Iwa ninja, who had been slaughtered for days and nights, would simply kill him cleanly and let him die peacefully?"
"And after being massacred nonstop by the Third Raikage, do you think those Iwa ninja were still mentally stable?"
"Obviously, they carried out unspeakable revenge on the Third Raikage while he may or may not still have been alive, or at the very least, while he was unable to move."
"Although afterward Iwagakure negotiated with Kumogakure and returned the Third Raikage's body, they probably even cleaned it beforehand."
"But if someone really wanted to investigate, the lingering traces would definitely still be detectable."
"And so, the Fourth Raikage, who bore the hatred of his father's death against Iwagakure and Onoki, secretly swore vengeance."
"The name 'Lightning Oppression Horizontal Chiyo Dance' was his way of constantly reminding himself of that revenge."
"He would bind Onoki and electrocute him while dancing together with Granny Chiyo."
"That's the artistic interpretation. In practical terms, it means the Raikage wanted to steal Onoki's beloved woman as revenge against him!"
(End of this chapter)