When I, middle-aged man from your reality find my car free falling end over end off of a highway bridge, my first thought is I'm done for. But— huh? Immortal Chuuni? What kind of wacko Gen Z name is tha—

[Author here! Shut up boomer! *ahem* sorry readers. Our friend here got a little carried away. Our… not so lovable MC died. He's cooked. Offed. Unalived! Donezo! He— *muffled shuffling sounds* h-hey! You old sack of dust! Give me back contro—】

AND STAY GONE, PUNK! *ahem* sorry about that. Some youngster tried to get the drop of me. 133 rewatches of the Karate Kid trilogy pays off, eh?

Anyhow. When a few kids in a car caused me to nobly sacrifice myself, I found myself in the realm not my own. The domain of a real goddess. So after cursing my grandmother for countless hours wasted in mass, I asked why I was there. 

From there on, She grabbed me a few wishes and tossed me into the world I lived to watch on the Big screen as a Teenager. KARATE KID! Except… somethings wrong.

 My chosen perks were changed, I ended up years later in the storyline, where Johnny and Daniel are old, saggy men, with full on dad bods and multiple kids. Confused, I looked around. But the next sounds I heard made me freeze.

[DING]!

[HOSTS SYSTEM MALFUNCTIONING. YOU WILL NOW GAIN UPGRADED VERSIONS OF YOUR CHOICES. ALL YOUR MEMORIES OF YOUR PAST LIFE WILL BE PERMANENTLY ERASED AS A FAIR COMPENSATION FOR YOUR NEWFOUND POWER. BEGGINING REBIRTH…]

Uhhhhhhh… what? 

[Immortal Chuuni]: BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! You think you can embarrass me? I'm your creator, fool! I've rewritten your entire destiny! You are nothing but a slave to my whim! Hahahaaaa!

[DING]! [Korey McCarthy -

Title(s): (Reincarnator), (Born on the Bayou), (The one who gave the author the finger), (Fate, Kiss my A**)
{Age}: 15
{Height}: 6'5”
{Weight}: 215lbs
{Strength}:  ∞³
{Speed}:  ∞³
{Stamina}:  ∞³
{Endurance}:  ∞³
{Intelligence}:  ∞+
{Potential}:  ∞³
{Experience}: E-
Note: ???= there isn't a statistical metric for a certain curcumstantial reason
³= It's changing too rapidly to be quantified by a single metric
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Reincarnator Perks:

{Absolute Healing Factor¹}, {Photographic Reflexes¹}, {Absolute Adaptation¹},{Smart Atoms¹}, {Perfect Body¹}

Note:
¹ passive
²active  ]

[Immortal_Chuuni]: Wait… did I just give him a power boost as punishment? Eh, who cares? Lance would beat the breaks off of him anyways…




(IYKYK)

I'm sorry guys. I'm stopping writing. I hope you guys stay safe and keep being positive. 


Chapter 2 - retirement