Chapter 21 - "First Time"
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Saki walked beside Ren in the quiet corridor, her heels clicking softly. He was still buttoning his shirt, movements slow, almost tired.
She spoke without looking at him.
"You're just having sex. You're not giving your seed."
"The Vesper is moving and we didn't have much time."
Ren didn't stop walking.
"I'll live this time the way I want."
His voice was low. Flat.
"You know how hard it is to survive in a place where everyone's trying to kill you? Humiliate you? Use you?"
Saki stayed silent.
Ren kept going.
Flashback.
A small town. A schoolyard after classes.
Three boys—older, bigger—cornered a skinny kid with messy black hair.
"Ren. Your dad owns the supermarket. Go buy us cigarettes."
The boy—young Ren—didn't answer. Just looked down.
They shoved him.
"Go."
He walked inside the store. His father looked up from the counter.
"Ren? Why are you here? It's school time."
Ren froze.
Didn't speak.
His father turned away to help a customer.
Ren reached behind the counter, grabbed a pack, ran out.
Outside, the boys took the cigarettes.
Smiled.
"See? Ren, you're our friend. Why you always stay silent?"
Ren didn't reply.
Another day. School toilet.
The same boys held him against the wall.
One pressed a lit cigarette to his palm.
He hissed in pain.
They laughed.
"Quiet boy. Always quiet."
Classroom. Afternoon.
They dragged him to the front.
Pulled his pants down in front of everyone.
Girls giggled. Boys cheered.
Ren stood there, red-faced, eyes on the floor.
He went to the teacher after class.
"Sir… they—"
The teacher sighed.
"You're an adult now, Ren. Handle it yourself."
Night.
Ren sat alone in his room.
Razor blade in hand.
He pressed it to his wrist.
Tears fell.
He wanted to end it.
But the fear hit harder.
He dropped the blade.
Cursed himself.
"You're useless. You can't even do this."
Months of stress. Pain. Silence.
Cancer came.
Then cardiac arrest.
His father spent every yen he had.
Cold sleep.
One last chance.
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Back in the corridor.
Ren stopped walking.
Saki stopped too.
She looked up at him.
"I can understand you," she said quietly. "Or… only I can understand you."
Ren met her eyes.
"I've seen my mother die for no reason. I learned early—no one helps when you're at your lowest. They only show up when you're successful. For credit."
Ren looked at her—really looked.
Saki stepped closer.
Not lust. Not breeding.
Just… closeness.
Ren's hand lifted slowly.
Hesitant.
She didn't pull away.
They moved together—slow, unsure.
Lips met.
Soft.
Not hungry.
Not practiced.
Just… real.
Ren felt it—warmth. Not mechanical. Not scheduled.
For the first time, a kiss wasn't a transaction.
It was someone choosing him.
Not his seed.
Him.
Saki's fingers brushed his cheek.
Ren's hands found her waist.
Gentle.
She sighed against his mouth.
They walked—backward—toward his room.
Door closed.
Inside, light dimmed.
Clothes fell slowly.
No rush.
Ren touched her—careful, like she might disappear.
Saki arched when his fingers brushed her breasts.
A small moan.
Not exaggerated.
Just honest.
She guided his hand.
He kissed her neck.
She trembled.
They lay down.
Skin on skin.
Ren looked at her—really looked.
"You sure?"
She nodded.
"I want this. Not because I have to."
He kissed her again.
Deeper this time.
But still gentle.
She wrapped her arms around him.
He entered slowly.
She gasped—soft, surprised.
They moved together.
No performance.
No audience.
Just two people finding something real in a world that tried to take everything else.
Ren buried his face in her neck.
Saki held him tighter.
And for the first time in years—
Ren didn't feel alone.
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*End*