—Year 1, Day 275—
The initial surprise had passed after a few days of the revelation that I would become a father.
The revelation was shocking but welcome. I felt a lot of strange emotions, I guess that's what they call paternal instinct.
Don't get me wrong, I have paternal instinct with my creatures of darkness, since I consider each one like a child of my own, but I know they'll be fine no matter how much damage they have.
But bringing a fragile and delicate being into the world... the mere idea that something might happen to it terrifies me. Even now I feel fear.
A fear I hadn't experienced in years. Not the fear of death or pain, but that deep fear that gnaws at your insides when something you love more than your own life is in danger. Cassie had been strangely calm the past few days, as if she knew something I didn't. Her eyes, those eyes that had always seen beyond what they should, looked at me with a mixture of joy and something I couldn't decipher.
Maybe that's why I'm writing this. To try to sort out the chaos I feel inside.
The child, boy or girl, would be part of us. An extension of everything we were and everything we could become. And that possibility, so beautiful and terrible at the same time, terrified me more than any creature I had ever faced.
Well, I'll leave this here for now. Cassie is calling me for dinner, and her voice has that tone that admits no argument. Something I've learned in these months: when a pregnant woman calls you for dinner, you go.
---
—Year 1, Day 282—
Shade returned after almost three months since our fight.
The waters have calmed between us, so we decided to drink a while and remember the old times. The bottle of wine I had saved for special occasions —and this certainly was one— was opened with a ceremonial gesture that made Shade laugh for the first time in a long while.
During our drinks, I noticed Shade had an expression of sadness on his face. Maybe he had discovered something in his travels, those moments where a character reaches self-reflection at the end of a movie, as we used to say jokingly. But this was no joke. His eyes, which had always shone with a spark of contained madness, now seemed dim.
Sometimes he would just sigh and look at me with sadness, even pity.
When I asked him what it meant, he told me he couldn't tell me.
"It's not the time, Uriel," he said, taking a long sip. "But someday you'll understand. I hope you don't have to."
I decided to leave that matter aside for now. Shade had always been like that, cryptic and enigmatic, keeping secrets that only he understood.
I told him the news that I would become a father and he was quite happy for me, saying I would be a great father. There was something in his voice, however, a note of something I couldn't identify at that moment. Maybe envy, maybe sadness. Or perhaps it was just the wine talking.
We both joked and insulted each other like old drunk friends. I told him his face looked like that of a beaten dog, and he replied that my sense of humor was still as bad as ever. We laughed, and for a moment everything seemed normal.
In the end, Shade decided he would go to sleep for a while and that he would see me again sometime.
I accepted it. With that last talk, I had managed to turn the page.
Or so I thought.
As he walked away, his shadow stretched strangely, and for an instant I swore I saw something more in it. Something that shouldn't be there. But I blinked and it was gone. The wine, surely.
---
—Year 1, Day 287—
Another week has passed and now I understand first-time parents who have to deal with their pregnant partners' cravings.
Seriously, this gets on my nerves, and even more so her fluctuating emotions. Sometimes she was incredibly happy, then terribly angry, even sad. I swore I saw her cry just because she heard a slightly sad story. A story about a dog that lost its owner, and there was Cassie, the seer who had seen the horrors of the world, sobbing as if the world were ending.
I had to comfort her for hours only to have to make chocolate for her craving.
Gods, seriously, this is harder than dealing with Dick. At least that thing only wanted to eat me, but Cassie wants to finish me off. Now she's chasing me with an axe just because I ate her dessert.
I still don't understand where the hell she got an axe.
Oh...
It seems she found me. Better leave this here.
"URIEL! GIVE ME BACK MY DESSERT!"
Her scream echoed throughout the house as I ran upstairs. There was something in her voice, a tone I had never heard before, and that scared me more than any monster I had ever faced.
---
—Year 1, Day 294—
Half a year has passed since it all began, since 294 days ago I started writing this diary.
I must say time passes really fast. Between battles, adventures, friendships and hardships, the days have slipped like water through my fingers. I guess that's why life is life. It's those experiences that make life worth living.
I am a happy and fulfilled person.
There were only a few months left for my child to be born. If it was a boy, we agreed that I would name him, but if it was a girl, Cassie would name her. We had spent entire nights discussing names, laughing and dreaming about the future.
Although things are far from improving. The creatures of the Great River are beginning to gather in a strange area, increasing the number of their attacks. The reports that came in were increasingly worrying: coordinated attacks, patterns suggesting intelligence, an organization we had never seen before in those beasts.
For now I'm going to investigate along with some navigators to discover and eliminate the origin of this.
Cassie didn't want me to go. Her eyes darkened when I told her, and for a moment I saw something in them that chilled my blood. Fear. Not fear for herself or the baby, but fear for me. As if she knew something I didn't.
"Be careful, Uriel," she told me, holding my face in her hands. "Please, be very careful."
"I always am," I lied.
We both knew it was a lie.
---
—Year 1, Day 301—
Soon the year will come to an end and with it the second year would begin.
I had traveled downstream to the point where the nightmare creatures gathered, and what I discovered left me baffled.
It was a corpse. A huge corpse of a great creature dead on the Great River, downstream of Fallen Grace.
Corpses weren't rare, however, this one was special. It bore marks of having been wounded by weapons used by humans.
They weren't the drowned, since the pattern wasn't irregular; they were clean cuts, as if they had been made surgically. Someone, or something, had dissected that beast with a precision that wasn't natural.
This left a bad taste in my mouth.
There was something else. Something I couldn't see but could feel. A presence, like a shadow at the edge of my perception, watching me from the depths of the river. When I turned to look, there was nothing. Just the dark water and the echo of my own breathing.
I will have to fortify Fallen Grace's defenses.
That night I couldn't sleep. Something deep inside me, something I had learned over years of struggle and survival, told me a storm was coming.
---
—Year 1, Day 315—
Two weeks passed since that event. It took me a week to return to Fallen Grace and another week to begin preparing the city's defense.
The defenses consisted of a barrier of runes to repel any nightmare creatures that approached. I worked day and night, engraving each symbol with a precision that left my fingers bloody and my mind exhausted.
Likewise, I began mandatory training for all inhabitants. My instinct told me that something dangerous was brewing, something very dangerous.
For now I can only be on alert.
Cassie watched me from the window as I trained the guards. Her belly was already beginning to show, and there was something in her posture that I didn't like. A tension, a rigidity that wasn't like her. When I tried to talk to her about it, she just shook her head and said it was nerves.
But I knew Cassie. And I knew when she was lying.
---
—Year 1, Day 322—
I was right.
I was right.
Damn it!
They're attacking Fallen Grace.
Thousands of profaned emerged from nowhere to besiege the city. The sky darkened with their twisted forms, and the air filled with screams that weren't human.
Among them were my friends, or at least a corrupted version of them.
A huge dragon that burned everything in its path, which was Kai. His skin, once golden and radiant, was now black as coal, and his eyes burned with a senseless fury.
A giantess in coarse clothing with a large scar on her belly who destroyed and devoured like a hungry beast. Effie. My friend Effie, who had always been the strongest of us, now reduced to a monster of flesh and hunger.
A huge titanic amalgamation of fused beings that controlled bodies. Mordret, who had always been an enigma, was now a horror that defied all understanding.
A silent mist that killed everything in its path. Jet, whose laughter used to fill our nights, was now a lethal silence that enveloped everything in its path.
And among them, the worst of all. A version of Cassie, dressed in dark robes, surrounded by floating eyes that blinked like dead stars. Her face was covered, but I knew it was her. I knew her too well not to recognize her.
Effie, Kai, Jet and Mordret: they were corrupted by profanation.
I fought against all of them and barely managed to temporarily knock them out, even though all of them possessed corrupted ranks capable of fighting saints.
But I was Uriel. Corrupted creatures were no different from a Fallen or Awakened for me.
I ran through the streets as fast as I could, moving through the darkness to reach Cassie. My heart beat so hard I thought it would burst. Shade's words, his sad look, his sighs full of pity... everything made sense now. He knew. He knew everything.
When I reached the castle and entered the room where Cassie was hidden, what I saw shattered my heart.
Cassie lay dead. Her lifeless corpse, with her stomach open, a sword made of shadows impaling her.
The culprit was a corrupted version of Sunny, while beside him there was a specter with a silent mocking smile on his face.
Finally, my gaze fell on Cassie, or at least a corrupted version of herself, surrounded by floating eyes with a robe covering her face.
In her hands she held a mass of dead, lifeless flesh.
It was my unborn child.
I felt a rage, a hatred so visceral that I lost myself.
I don't know what I did. I don't know what happened after that. But when I woke up, all of Fallen Grace was destroyed and in ruins. All its inhabitants were dead, their bodies scattered staining the ground red.
There were the thousands of inhabitants of Fallen Grace.
The huge corpse of corrupted Kai.
The huge headless corpse of corrupted Effie.
The shattered, soulless body of Mordret.
There was no trace of Jet beyond a corpse wrapped in mist.
Finally, only three remained.
Sunny, who called himself the Mad Prince.
Cassie, or Torment, as she now called herself.
And me.
Now I will leave what exactly happened.
"You... why?" I asked with barely contained hatred.
The Mad Prince smiled. His face full of deep scars looked at me with a profane amusement, one that only a true madman could understand.
"Because it's fun," he replied.
"It was fun at the beginning and it's fun now. And it will keep being fun, over and over again. Do you think this is the first time I've done this?
"You're wrong, Uriel. I've done this hundreds of times before. Every time the same thing happens, no variation. I hate it, it disgusts me, it's disgusting..." the Mad Prince became discouraged for a moment before recomposing himself, and his face changed to one of fury as his nails opened new bleeding wounds in his skin.
"How is it that you can be happy and not me? Why did we kill Nephis? Why does she have to die and not Cassie?
"Because I am her slave and I hate being her slave. I love her but I hate her, it's a paradoxical existence. So I killed her over and over again. I killed her, I killed her, I killed her, I killed her until I lost myself... Hehehe... I'm a murderer, Uriel, and habit made my death."
"Why?" I asked, ignoring his diatribe. I didn't care about his motives, I just wanted an answer.
The Mad Prince stopped smiling. A serious expression adorned his face and he told me something I would never forget.
"Because you are not destined to be happy. You are darkness, cold and loneliness. You don't deserve to be happy. That's why I did it. There's nothing beyond. I killed Cassie and her bastard, although he would have been stillborn anyway, so you're welcome."
Upon hearing that, I clenched my hands into fists with so much rage that I drew blood.
I lunged at him to kill him, but chains of shadows held me back, preventing me from reaching him.
"I'm not finished yet.
"Uriel. My old friend, my best friend. We've been through many heartbreaking things. So I'll be honest with you. You are just a creation of the Nightmare Spell.
"What do you mean?"
"You should know. The you that you are now is not your real self. You are just an echo conjured by the nightmare. You don't even know how you entered this nightmare, do you?"
I tried to refute his words, but they were true. I couldn't remember the moment I fell into the nightmare. I just opened my eyes and...
"You should know by now. The memory loss. For someone who knows many things, you forgot a lot about this tomb, the truth behind the nightmare, the island of Alethes of the Snow, the secret of the Estuary and how to end everything. Your real self entered the tomb, and we, upon entering it, summoned you."
"My... my entire existence is just a lie."
"Yes," said the Mad Prince.
"You have lived deceived, miserable echo. Even that thing that lives inside you knew the truth."
"Is that true, Shade?" I asked mentally.
Shade's voice came weakly.
"Yes, that's true. I found out after a few weeks. I didn't want to tell you anything for fear of what you would do. I'm sorry."
"Bastard. I trusted you and this is how you repay me, with betrayal."
Sunny smiled.
"Ah, seeing that expression is so great. I'll never get tired of seeing it, even after thousands of cycles. But like all good works, it's time for its end. I've had enough fun. Now comes the final act.
"Torment, do it now."
Torment stepped forward, approaching me and whispering profane truths to me, causing corruption to contaminate me at an unimaginable speed.
I felt a tearing pain in my soul as I was corrupted. My soul cores exploded, turning into black stains. Countless whispers were in my mind driving me to absolute madness. My memories distorted and only the untamed desire to kill, devour and spread was born.
Sunny smiled and released me.
"It's done. Congratulations, you are now a corrupted Titan, a disgusting existence like me."
With the last remnants of consciousness, I grabbed Sunny, separating his head from his body in one movement.
The Mad Prince died with a smile.
I looked at Torment and knew she was a corrupted version of Cassie. I killed her too. She wasn't my Cassie.
Letting out a scream of madness, I headed toward the Estuary.
I just had to go back in time to fix everything and forget everything.
But something I didn't take into account is that once you know the forbidden, that knowledge never goes away.
---
—Year 2, Day 0—
I was corrupted and I can barely fight myself to write this diary in such a way that you don't get corrupted like me. The voices order me to write their names, but I ignore them. I don't know how long they will last.
I have traveled in time with the Estuary, but it didn't work. I'm still corrupted.
I have tried everything, but nothing works.
That bastard, the Mad Prince, remembered every loop, so he killed Cassie over and over again.
---
—Year 3—
I have fought for almost a year with that bastard. We have gone back and traveled in time more times than I can imagine.
Thousands of cycles passed and each time I lose myself more. I no longer know what to do. During my corruption process, I consumed Shade. Now the only thing I have left is this diary.
---
—Year 5—
Time has become blurry. The days blend together in a fog of blood and pain. I have killed versions of the Mad Prince, and he has killed me. Over and over again. An endless cycle.
---
—Year 10—
How much time has passed? Days? Years? I have lost track. I only know that the pain doesn't stop. The corruption consumes me slowly, and each day I lose a little more of what I was.
---
—Year 29—
I no longer remember my name. I don't remember who I was before all this. I only know that I hate. I hate the Mad Prince. I hate Cassie. I hate Shade. I hate everyone.
---
—Year 43—
I have started talking to myself. The voices have become louder. Sometimes they answer me.
---
—Year 77—
I found a way to travel in time without the Estuary. It doesn't work. Nothing works.
---
—Year 100—
One hundred years. One hundred years of suffering. One hundred years of death and rebirth. One hundred years of hatred.
---
—Year 250—
I no longer know who I am. I only know that I want this to end. In any way.
---
—Year 500—
Five hundred years passed and things changed in this cycle.
The Mad Prince attacked me with the Six Plagues together. We fought. I killed some, but in the next cycle I lost and he sealed me with powerful chains that prevent me from leaving or freeing myself.
The bastard said it was a fun time, but that it was time to leave.
---
—Year 505—
Today was different.
Three people appeared.
Nephis, Sunny and Cassie.
Nephis was alive. Sunny was Sunny. And Cassie was alive.
And my other friends were fine.
Apparently, that bastard sealed the plagues in traps to create a winning loop and get out of here.
I didn't talk much to them, since I was sleepy. I just told them the essentials: find two of the plagues.
As they kill them, I will be freed. And when I am free, I will take my revenge.
Now I write this while weaving a memory into a core of my soul. That way, whoever kills me will get this diary and my entire life since I started writing it. And if my assumption is correct, then you.
The bastard who is reading this. Let me tell you something: I hate you with all my soul for creating me by entering this damned tomb and making me suffer.
Someday I will get out of here, and when I do, when I am real, I will take everything you have. That is a promise, and you know I never break a promise.
---
---
Uriel closed the diary as a new day rose over Bastion, after two days of madness.
In front of him was Cassie, who was silent.
"So..." she said slowly. "All this time, when we thought you were dead, you're alive?"
"Cassie, I..." Uriel tried to speak, but Cassie raised her hand.
"Shut up. I don't want to hear you talk. All this time everything that happened meant nothing to you?"
"It did mean something," said Uriel, looking at Cassie.
"Then why didn't you come back and adopt this identity?"
"Because it's necessary for what I'm going to do. In time I will tell you everything, but not now."
"You're a son of a bitch, Uriel."
"I know. And that's why I'm sorry."
From the darkness two figures emerged. The first was Shade, who held Cassie with true darkness, and the other was Soul.
"What are you doing! Let me go!"
"I'm sorry, Cass," said Shade.
"Soul, do it now. You know what to do."
"Yes."
Soul approached Cassie and used her powers to influence Cassie's mind.
Since Cassie was a Transcendent, her mind was an impregnable fortress. But Soul was a Supreme entity.
They bypassed all of Cassie's defenses and found the most recent memories and their backups, and erased them.
Cassie screamed as she felt part of her memory being erased before passing out.
Uriel watched this in silence, shedding tears.
"I truly despise myself," he said, looking at Soul. "Do it."
Soul nodded and entered his mind, destroying those memories and adding new ones.
The truth of what happened with his unborn child and his years of madness. In exchange for all that, he received false memories where the diary told how Uriel was corrupted by the profanation of the Mad Prince upon learning forbidden secrets.
Uriel closed his eyes.
When he opened them again, he was confused about why he was asleep on his work table before remembering. He had finished reading the diary and knowing everything that happened left him pensive.
He woke Cassie, who was confused and disoriented. Upon learning that she had fallen asleep, she apologized and paid for everything before leaving, saying she would return when she had time.
Uriel accepted it, bewildered, feeling immense guilt and sorrow for some reason. He asked Shade, but he was still asleep.
Shrugging, he decided to clean up and sleep a little to mentally rest; he was really dead tired.
---
(Note: With this chapter marks the end of the events that led to Uriel's corruption in the third nightmare, or at least this version recreated by the spell.
Now as a personal opinion, I consider that Uriel of Nightmare suffered more than the real one.
Although that's my opinion. Anyway, I invite you to write your comments; it will be fun to read them.)