"Huang! Quickly! Your father's lost the goat!"
An older woman's voice snapped Jin Huang out of it, and he awoke.
In an instant, he knew the dazzling sunlight pouring through the window of his bedroom in the old wooden house.
He remembered nothing of what caused the odd feeling in the back of his mind, but quickly adjusted as he registered the words the woman had spoken.
"Crap! Coming, mother!"
Jin Huang left his bed of straw behind and vaulted through the window, crashing face-first into some drying laundry.
His mother's deadpan voice drifted from the yard. "Use the door next time, Huang."
Jin Huang slowly peeled a pair of trousers off his face. "Yes, mother. Sorry, mother."
He stumbled upright, a shirt briefly tangled around his head before he gingerly peeled it off, sprinting toward the commotion behind the house.
Their tiny farm was in complete chaos.
Chickens scattered in every direction, a sack of rice had exploded across the dirt, their old mule looked deeply offended, and in the middle of it all-
Jin Lao was sprinting through a cabbage patch with the speed and desperation of a man half his age.
"COME BACK HERE, YOU DEMON!"
The goat bleated triumphantly as it leapt over a fence.
Jin Huang froze for a moment as the last trace of that odd feeling wore off, then burst into laughter.
His father skidded to a halt, wheezing heavily, one hand on his back.
"Why are you laughing?!" Jin Lao shouted. "That beast has eaten three of my good shirts!"
"Why were your shirts near the goat?"
"How is that important, Huang!? Just help me!"
The goat, a fat white menace with soulless eyes, chewed thoughtfully on a sleeve while staring directly at them.
Jin Huang pointed dramatically. "There!"
"I CAN OBVIOUSLY SEE IT!"
The chase resumed.
For the next hour, the three members of the Jin family waged war against one goat.
Jin Huang attempted stealth, the goat kicked him into a water barrel.
Jin Lao attempted intimidation; the goat headbutted him into a fence.
Su Yulan attempted diplomacy; the goat ate her basket.
At one point, Jin Huang climbed onto the roof to "gain a tactical advantage."
His mother looked up at him, entirely unimpressed and unconvinced. "What exactly is your plan?"
"I don't know yet."
"Then why are you on the roof?"
"It feels right!"
The goat somehow got onto the roof with him.
"... Nevermind." Jin Huang immediately jumped off.
Eventually, the battle ended when Su Yulan calmly walked into the house, returned with a single steamed bun, and held it up.
The goat trotted over like an obedient disciple greeting its sect master.
Jin Huang stared in disbelief. "That's it? We fought for an hour and your strategy was food?"
Su Yulan sniffed triumphantly. "Unlike you two, I possess intelligence. Besides, you said it yourself, Huang. Food solves all problems."
Jin Lao collapsed onto the ground. "Yulan, you raised this boy for seventeen years and he still cannot catch one goat."
"I didn't raise him by myself, did I?" Su Yulan replied, feigning offense.
"I am old." Jin Lao huffed.
Su Yulan scoffed, "You are forty-two."
"You're right. I'm actually ancient."
Jin Huang laughed so hard his stomach hurt.
And then, he stopped, the laughter fading slowly. He knew, in that moment, that his parents were both dead.
It wasn't the same as remembering something you had forgotten.
To him, it felt like something was telling it to him, and he could do nothing but accept it as fact.
Even so, he knew that it was, indeed, fact.
It was a fact that his father had died looking sixty, despite his age being far from there.
It was a fact that his mother had coughed blood into a cloth while pretending he couldn't see.
The farm had been colder then. Hungrier and harder.
This… This wasn't right.
Jin Huang's smile faltered, and he looked at his hands. They were whole and unmarred.
The strange feeling returned. Like distant thunder at the edge of his thoughts.
He looked at his parents and his chest tightened.
His mother was scolding the goat while his father was pretending not to nap in the dirt.
They looked so alive. So real.
Jin Huang whispered, "…you're dead."
Jin Lao opened one eye. "That's a very rude thing to say to your father."
Su Yulan playfully smacked the back of Jin Huang's head. "Are you trying to put a curse on him?"
"Ow!"
For a moment, he almost let himself believe again. Almost.
However, he knew that their life had never looked like this. This was a perfect lie stitched together by something he did not yet understand.
Jin Huang stood there silently for a long time, a tremor running through his mind that sent his emotions into a chaotic state.
Apparently, it was evident on his face.
His mother sighed. That same sigh that he had heard growing up.
Hearing that shattered him more than any weapon ever could.
"What is it, Huang?" she asked softly.
Jin Huang's voice trembled. "How am I supposed to let this go?"
Neither parent responded immediately. The wind just moved gently through the fields.
Finally, Jin Lao spoke quietly. "Are you afraid? Does letting go scare you?"
Jin Huang nodded, not realizing that his face was wet with tears. "I am. It scares me more than anything."
Su Yulan's expression softened in a way that made him feel six years old again. She walked forward and adjusted his crooked collar. "Why?"
Jin Lao continued, "Letting go of this won't change what is true."
Jin Huang inhaled deeply, wiping at the tears that he finally felt.
"I just..." he said quietly, "I miss you both so much."
"Everything I do, I do to honor your memory. I chose to live my life for you both, to ensure that I make the most of the life you allowed me to have. If I let go now... I'll lose everything."
"Hmm," Jin Lao started. "Did we ask him to do that?"
His parents exchanged a glance, and somehow, that silence told him everything.
No. They did not.
"How can you live for the dead, Huang? They are gone, and you remain. You want to honor us? Then do so be fulfilling the only wish we ever had for you."
Jin Huang sniffled as his father and mother drew close.
"That you would live... " Su Yulan said.
Her husband continued, "... your own life. A better life than we could ever give you."
Lips quivering, Jin Huang stepped forward and hugged them both. Hard. Almost desperately.
His father grunted. "You've gotten stronger. Good. You'll need strength for what's coming."
His mother muttered into his shoulder, "You smell terrible, though. Don't neglect hygiene."
Jin Huang chuckled between sobs, "It's cause I was chasing a goat."
"No. You smelled terrible before that." She said through a smile.
His father's voice softened. "You've grown well, Huang."
His mother whispered, "We are and always will be proud of you."
Jin Huang broke.
All of the guilt, grief, and loneliness that he had felt ever since he lost them filled him until he burst.
All of it spilled out of him in even more silent tears. "I couldn't save you. I just made your lives harder. If you had never found me... you'd still be alive."
"Huang!" His mother scolded, causing him to jump in fright.
"You. Were. A. Child," she said. "A child that would not have survived without us."
"The same way we would not have survived as long as we did without you." Jin Lao added.
"I should've done more..." Jin Huang wiped furiously at his eyes.
Jin Lao flicked his forehead. "All we needed you to do was surive, but you did far more than that."
Su Yulan stroked his yellow hair, "You filled our days with joy, laughter and frustration. Without those things brightening our home, we would have died far earlier."
Jin Huang laughed weakly through tears.
"You sound wise... for people who lost a goat."
"We did not lose it," Jin Lao said with a chuckle. "We let it go."
The goat bleated from atop the roof.
All three looked up.
"…how did it get back up there?" Jin Huang whispered.
No one had an answer.
His mother patted his shoulder. "You need to go now."
Jin Huang's breathing grew uneven. "I don't want to."
"We know."
He clung to them tighter. "What if... one day... I forget your faces?"
Su Yulan pressed his cheek. "Then remember how we loved you."
Jin Lao smiled. "Remember that your father nearly defeated that goat."
Jin Huang laughed, "You did not."
"Did too!"
The world fractured, bright light pouring through the cracks.
Their forms began to fade, and panic immediately surged through Jin Huang.
"Wait!"
His mother smiled gently. "I love you always, my sweet boy."
His father grinned. "Start thinking about what you want in life, Huang. Maybe find a nice girl."
Nodding, Jin Huang said, "I promise I will."
They faded further, and Jin Huang reached for them desperately.
Jin Lao smiled warmly. "I love you."
The illusion shattered.
The farmhouse vanished, and the fields disappeared. The goat gave one final victorious bleat before being erased from existence.
Jin Huang blinked, and he was somewhere else, a final tear falling.
"I love you guys."