"But I'm really not the king. I'm just giving guidance, and my position is a bit higher… that's about it."
"When the kingdom is already at war?"
"That was a righteous counterattack."
"..."
"Why are you staring at me like that? Did I say something wrong? Uh… alright, even if it was a righteous counterattack… about hiding so many things from you, I do feel a bit sorry, and helping the kingdom grow stronger was just to make a better living. I hoped the world could become a better place."
That unfriendly gaze made him change his words halfway through. He looked like he was reflecting on himself, letting out a soft sigh.
"But about deceiving you… I've actually been planning to correct it, and I've been seriously reflecting on it. I even toss and turn every night, unable to sleep."
"Lady Frieren, I can testify to that. Lord Ash really does stay up very late every night."
"That does seem to be true, but I don't believe Ash's morals are that high."
Although she didn't know that a great demon could go several days without sleep with no problem, Frieren still had a pretty good understanding of his moral standards.
"You're the second person I ever met, and also the one I've known the longest. Of course I feel guilty," He wasn't lying about that. He just left out how much guilt he actually felt.
But before Frieren could refute him, he continued, "And I was also worried that if I told you my true identity, our friendship would break apart. That's why I couldn't say it."
Even as he said that, Frieren gritted her teeth in anger, "I thought several times that you were going to die of old age!"
"About that… I'm really sorry, but the reason I couldn't say it is the same as before. So if possible, I still hope we can reconcile. Of course… that's only if you don't mind my identity."
"I mind very much!"
"That really hurts."
"If someone's truly hurt, they wouldn't just say it out loud like that! Forget it, I don't want to deal with you at all."
She seemed genuinely angry. Frieren sat back down, even letting her staff fall to the ground. She hugged her knees and buried her face in them, hiding her expression.
Even the sweets she had always loved right in front of her had completely lost their appeal.
Even Frieren herself found it strange that she would say something like that, as if she actually understood what "heartache" was.
But just as she said… that kind of pain… she really felt it again after a long time.
When Ash disappeared for decades, she didn't feel much at first. It wasn't until after her teacher died and she met Serie again that she felt that kind of pain for the first time.
She didn't want to experience it again, that tearing sensation. She didn't want to accept it, yet she couldn't ignore it, and she couldn't put it into words.
The dessert feast didn't last after all.
Even though she loved sweets just as much, after seeing Frieren's quiet sorrow, Fern couldn't bring herself to enjoy her favorite treats. She gently picked up the fallen staff and stayed by her side, silently expressing her care through her actions.
As for Aura, she found the unexpected situation dull and left on her own. Though the look on her face, as if she was calculating something, suggested she thought Ash had obtained some extremely powerful mental magic.
There was no helping it. Her distrust of human nature was deeply rooted. Even now, it would be hard to change.
Ash and Fern both remained in the restaurant. Fern continued to stroke Frieren's head, soothing the clearly wounded elf.
Ash, meanwhile, leaned half against the window, looking down at the peaceful streets outside the castle. He thought, troubled, and finally spoke without turning his head, "Frieren."
"...", Frieren didn't respond. She didn't even move.
"I know you're listening. Whether apologizing now has any meaning, I don't plan to apologize again. But I still want to say this, at least for me, the difference in race isn't that big."
Even without a response, he continued on his own, "From beginning to end, in my eyes, you've always been my friend. No matter how my identity changes, I absolutely don't want that to change. And if you think differently, I hope you'll tell me."
"..."
Frieren still didn't speak. The large restaurant was so quiet it almost hurt the ears.
After a long while, she slowly lifted her head. She still didn't look at him, just stared at the half-finished dessert in front of her.
After another long silence, she finally broke the suffocating stillness, staring at the dessert as she spoke slowly:
"Is what you said true? This time… you really didn't lie to me?"
"Since we met, I don't think I've lied to you about anything," Ash said with a slightly helpless smile.
"Although… when you got eaten by a mimic, I might have argued after spanking you, but aside from that, I don't think there was anything. At least, I never said I was human."
"You didn't say you were human, but you never said you were a demon either, right? And you're still arguing about it now. Are you trying to start another fight with me? If it's a fight, I can go for three days and three nights," Frieren turned her head toward him expressionlessly.
Only then did he turn back, awkwardly waving his hands, "No, no, I'll apologize, okay?"
"You should've just done that from the start," She wasn't forgiving him, just glaring at him blankly.
"You're willing to believe me?", he asked carefully.
"You once said demons can't be trusted. I still agree with that. But…", Frieren stood up and slowly walked over to him.
She looked up at Ash.
She knew him too well. More familiar than anyone else in her life. So familiar it felt etched into her heart, something she couldn't separate from herself.
And yet this person had hidden something so huge.
After another long silence, her brows drew together slightly. A trace of struggle and confusion appeared in her eyes, but she never looked away.
"Even if you're a demon, I still want to believe you. If you stab me in the back… I guess I'll just accept my bad luck."
"I wouldn't do something like that," he said quickly.
"No, that's not what I meant…"
Already not good with words, Frieren lowered her head, troubled.
It wasn't just that she lacked words. It was also because she felt too embarrassed to say it.
Just like demons don't have the concept of family, elves are similar in that regard.
At least, she didn't know her parents' names, and because of that, she had never mentioned anything about them. Her sense of family was extremely faint… which also made her unfamiliar with human emotions.
Almost all elves were like this. Elf children were raised by the village collectively, given food occasionally, and then left to grow up on their own.
The biggest difference from demons was probably that they were at least fed, and no one would look down on them for being weak or abuse them. That was why they developed such a dull, almost emotionless personality.
Even when many people in the village died after years together, they didn't cry. Nothing much changed… all elves were cold to the core.
Still, it wasn't as cruel as demons. Just indifferent, not extreme cruelty. There was still a chance to correct it, but it would take a very, very long time.
But… even if she couldn't say it out loud, this person who had been around her for so long, even before her village was destroyed, to her, he was no different from family.
It could even be said that before she ever fought demons, she already knew Ash. So without realizing it, her trust in him had already surpassed her suspicion and hostility toward demons.
She didn't really understand what a family relationship should be like, but if there was such a thing, she once thought… maybe it would be like this.
So even in the worst case, if she really were betrayed, if it was by someone like him, she would accept it.
But she couldn't say something that embarrassing. In the end, she said nothing at all, just stared at him in silence, as if waiting for him to understand.
Frieren kept staring at him in silence, as if hoping he would figure it out on his own.
But, with her usual lack of expression, she didn't look much different from normal.
After thinking for a while, Ash suddenly tapped his palm.
"You must be hungry, right? What do you want to eat? I'll have someone make it."
"In your eyes, am I just someone who eats all the time?"
His instinctive response made Frieren instantly regret even considering forgiving him.
But… Fern let out a small sigh of relief and smiled as she stroked her head.
"That's great, Lady Frieren."
"What's great?"
"Anyway, let's eat first."
"Wait… Fern, you too? What about my position?"
She was supposed to be the one who was angry, the one everyone should be comforting. Yet somehow it felt like they cared more about eating than her.
Her lips curved downward slightly in dissatisfaction, like she was about to sulk again.
Seeing this, Ash joined in calming her down, also reaching out to pat her head.
"You're already this old, don't sulk. Let's eat first, and we'll talk slowly afterward, alright?"
"Don't touch my head," Frieren slapped his hand away and glanced at him sideways.
"I only said I'd accept my bad luck. I didn't say I forgive you."
"Hah! You really haven't changed at all. Still just as troublesome."
"Don't call me troublesome! I haven't even complained about you yet!", Frieren shot back.
"Seriously! Besides hiding the king's matter from me! Serie definitely noticed back then too, right? Why would she agree to take you as a disciple? And the Hero of the South, Heiter, Himmel, all of them, plus a bunch of other messy things, tonight you're going to explain everything clearly! And most importantly… why are you controlling this country here?"
His sighing attitude was too much for her to bear, and she threw out all her questions at once.
Ash didn't react much. After all, he had already kind of answered why he controlled the country, though not in detail.
But explaining everything now would be too troublesome, so he decided to ignore it for the time being. He sat back down and clapped his hands to call someone in.
A wide array of dishes quickly replaced the desserts, completely filling Frieren's mouth and forcing her into temporary silence.
"Let's eat first. We'll talk properly after, alright?"
"Fine. I'll eat first for now. Afterward, I'll deal with you properly."
Her stomach had already been hungry. Even though she was reluctant, Frieren swallowed and kept a straight face as she picked up her fork.
Seeing this, Fern smiled happily and reached for the meat in front of her.
For the moment, the tension and unease brought by the revealed identity seemed to ease a little.
Although Ash wasn't sure what it would be like when they met again in the Demon King's castle in the future, he believed, it would definitely be interesting.
As for now, it could wait until next time. After all, he didn't have any desire to rule the world. It was all for shaping it better.
So he believed that compared to anger or anything else, Frieren and Fern would probably show some other interesting emotions, probably.
Well, he didn't have that much confidence either. But things had to be handled one step at a time. Pushing too much at once didn't seem wise.
———
They had originally decided to question everything properly after eating.
Unfortunately, they were too hungry, the food was too good, and they ate too much. Frieren couldn't even walk afterward, and she felt drowsy from the meal.
Having overused her brain and stayed angry for too long, Frieren leaned on the table, planning to rest for a bit before deciding anything else.
But after just a short rest, she accidentally fell asleep.
"Even after being so angry just now, Lady Frieren is still like a child at heart? She was just saying Lady Serie is like a child too," Fern complained, but her eyes were gentle as she continued stroking her hair.
Watching the two of them, both thousands of years old yet still like little girls, Ash couldn't help but shake his head and sigh.
"So grown up, yet still like this…"
"Lord Ash, if you say something mean like that again, I'll get angry, you know?", Fern showed clear displeasure.
"Come to think of it, you probably has a lot you want to ask me too, right?"
"Mm~ too many. I don't even know where to start. So for now, Lord Ash should carry Lady Frieren to her room. After we leave here, we can talk slowly."
"I could just use magic to float her—"
"Lady Frieren isn't cargo. Please carry her!", Even though she often teased Frieren, Fern was unusually serious now.
Not wanting to make things more troublesome, he had no choice but to pick her up in his arms.
During the process, Frieren seemed to stir awake, opening her eyes slightly. When she saw it was him, she let out a faint sigh and closed her eyes again, murmuring something indistinct.
He couldn't make out what she was saying, but Fern could roughly guess. She shot him a reproachful look.
"In reality, Lady Frieren must still be quite sad. The person she's closest to doesn't understand her at all, and even hid something so important."
"Don't look at me like that. I have my own difficulties too."
"I guess that's true."
'If I could be like that too, that would be nice...'
That kind of longing flickered through Fern's chest like ripples, appearing now and then as she glanced at Frieren. But on the surface, she showed nothing, speaking as seriously as ever, "Being a demon is indeed troublesome. Thinking about it carefully, I can probably understand. After all, I've also hidden something very important from Lord Ash."
That surprised him.
"There's something like that too?"
"Yes."
"Are you planning to say it now?"
"Not at all," Facing his curious gaze, Fern lowered her eyes slightly and shook her head.
[🎉 Shoutout to Eric and Cash for joining p@treon. Thank you for keeping me motivated.🤗]
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