In the end, after we decided to stop following Caleb, we let it be.
But letting it be felt like choosing inaction and calling it wisdom.
I told myself it was reasonable, that following would only make me seem like I was obsessed. I wasn't. I just wasn't used to leaving problems alone until they solved themselves. Usually, I pushed until something gave way.
But it was different with Caleb.
I just couldn't think of anything good to do about the situation.
Maybe I didn't have to. People had bad days.
And I didn't want those girls - I knew their names now, Catherine, Juliet, and Elizabeth - to be on Caleb's heels the entire day, so I told them to leave it be.
They tried to argue with me, but I quickly shut them down. I wouldn't allow this decision to be questioned by anyone.
I wondered how long I would even need to remember their names before they fell out of my life entirely.
Still, things didn't seem to be going well.
Caleb didn't come to fencing practice.
I thought that was very strange.
He seemed to enjoy swordsmanship, not as much as his sister, but he got a quiet enjoyment out of it, and he liked to spend time with Maren.
He wouldn't miss it for no reason. Even if he were injured, he would show up just to watch - that's what I thought.
Edward hadn't been there either, but I didn't care, so I dismissed that almost immediately. I didn't care what Edward did with his time.
But if both of them were gone, maybe it really was some kind of boy thing. A mutual sulk.
Neither my mother nor father told me anything about boys like that. They didn't tell me anything at all.
I would have preferred that explanation.
Practice went on without him and Edward. Things weren't very different without them.
The next day did nothing to reassure me.
Caleb arrived even later than before, slipping into class with his head down and shoulders tense, like he was bracing for something that would come soon.
He didn't look at me once.
After class, he vanished.
I mean that literally. One moment he was there, gathering his things with that same distant look he had, and the next, he was gone.
Gone before I could decide whether I wanted to stop him or not.
That decided it for me.
"Come on," I said to the girls when they were also looking for him, already turning. "We're asking someone."
They hesitated, but they followed. Of course they did.
We didn't go look for Caleb. He was good at hiding - it wouldn't make any sense to search.
So we went to the next best person: Maren.
She was in the school's gymnasium. I was friendly enough with Maren that I knew that today, she'd be wrestling. The place smelled of sweat - a rancid and unpleasant smell - and the floor was padded.
I heard a thud and saw Maren, locked on the floor with another girl in their wrestling uniforms. A second later, the other girl yelped out and gave up.
Maren released her and stood up, her arms crossed, her posture unmistakably relaxed and in control.
She noticed us almost immediately.
Four people standing where they didn't belong were hard to miss.
Her gaze moved from one of us to the next.
Slowly.
"Yes?" she said pleasantly. A bit suspicious.
I explained. Briefly.
Maren listened without interrupting, arms crossed.
When I finished, she smiled.
It was not a friendly smile.
"I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary," she said after a moment. "He didn't say anything to me, and he hasn't skipped practice before without a reason. If something's going on, he hasn't shared it."
That wasn't comforting, but it was honest.
She leaned forward slightly. I could smell the sweat on her.
"I'm not saying this because I think you're doing anything wrong," she added, "but since you're all asking at once, I should be clear." Her tone stayed even, almost casual - which somehow made it more serious.
"Caleb's important to me," she said. "If any of you are planning something that involves him, I expect it to be decent. Thoughtful. Nothing that puts him on the spot or makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't always say no when he should. And he doesn't always talk when something's weighing on him."
Her eyes flicked around, but especially to me, sharp and assessing.
"So whatever this concern of yours is… make sure it comes from a good place. If not, you'll have to answer to me. Princess or not," she added, "that won't change."
I held her gaze. I wasn't intimidated and wanted to say something, but words failed me. I clenched my fists and blushed at the same time. Embarrassment flared first, followed immediately by rage. I'd been misunderstood - and threatened.
How dare she. It wasn't just all of that. It was also because she didn't just think about planning to do something wrong but had already decided to.
I wasn't spoken to as an equal, or even a superior, which I was - I was being warned off, like a child who couldn't be trusted with something delicate.
My face burned.
"We're not planning anything," I said, measured and slow, before I boiled over. "We're trying to figure out if anything's wrong."
Maren studied me for a moment longer.
"If something is wrong," she said, "he'll figure it out or come forward with it himself. That's how he is."
Dismissed.
As we left, I felt no relief at all.
I had another idea - which was the same one but with a different person to ask.
Jakob. He was easy to find.
He was in the student president's office. He was vice president.
We knocked.
"Come in," a voice called, warm and unhurried.
Jakob was the only one there, in front of a desk covered in neatly stacked papers.
Compared to Caleb and Maren, Jakob was very gentle and open.
I thought it was almost pitiful. If Jakob wasn't such a respected figure among his peers and seemingly a prodigy mage, which meant nothing to me, I wouldn't have held him in such high regard.
There must be something about him if everyone else thought he was so great. But I hadn't been around him much - mostly with Caleb and Maren.
He smiled when he saw us, curious.
"Well," he said, setting his feather down. "This is an unexpected delegation."
I didn't sit until he gestured to the chairs. The girls followed suit.
I explained again. I was almost fed up with it. The girls weren't any help at all.
I kept it concise.
He listened, but not at all like Maren had.
The attention that he gave us wasn't sharp like hers but patient, like he was turning the problem over in his mind, over and over again.
When I finished, he leaned back slightly and laced his fingers together.
"Your concern is very sweet," he said and gave me a look, like he knew something that didn't need to be said out loud.
I wanted to yell at him.
"I wish I had something definitive to tell you," he continued. "But I don't."
That irritated me more than I wanted to admit.
"Caleb's always been… inward," Jakob continued. "Not withdrawn. Just thoughtful, in his own way. He tends to wrestle with things privately."
"That's not helpful," I said before I could stop myself.
He smiled faintly, not offended. "I know."
One of the girls shifted. "He's never acted like this before."
Jakob nodded. "True. But he has acted strangely before - just not in ways that were easy to notice."
I frowned. "You're saying this is normal?"
"I'm saying Caleb has always been a bit… eccentric," Jakob replied. "Which is hardly a crime. If I had to guess, I'd blame our grandfather. You know him, Princess Io—Silver Gregorio. Another famously eccentric figure. He and Caleb spent a great deal of time together over the years."
He paused, then added more softly, "If something's bothering him, it may not be something anyone else did. Or something that can be fixed quickly."
That sat poorly with me.
"So you have no idea," I said flatly.
Jakob met my gaze. "I have no idea," he repeated. "But I don't believe he's avoiding you out of malice."
That was… something.
He glanced at the girls again, his expression kind. "If you're worried, the best thing you can do is give him space. Let him come to you when he's ready."
I stood. Give him space, he says. I scoffed. Doing nothing had never sat well with me.
This felt like a surrender. A problem that has presented itself just beat you, and you didn't even fight back.
There were few problems I didn't know how to solve. Most bent under pressure, authority, or persistence. This wasn't one of them.
Caleb was flexible and hardy, and it didn't seem that he cared much about my authority, which didn't bother me as much as I told myself it should.
Whatever was happening with Caleb couldn't be commanded, threatened, or reasoned into submission.
"That's not very satisfying advice," I said.
"It rarely is," he said matter-of-factly.
Why were all Lightbane so frustrating to deal with?