Thor vs. The Scriptures
The writing chamber was silent.
Painfully silent.
Thor sat at a massive desk, quill in hand, staring at the first page of the Asgardian Scripture.
One hundred thousand pages.
Times ten thousand.
Thor squinted at the first line.
"Let all kings rule with wisdom and restraint—"
He frowned.
"…Restrain."
He wrote.
Restraine.
The page shimmered.
Then burst into flames.
Thor jumped back. "HEY!"
A golden rune appeared in the air.
SPELLING ERROR. REWRITE PAGE.
Thor stared.
"…You're joking."
The rune did not laugh.
Thor groaned and started again.
Five pages later—
"Honor thy people—"
He wrote.
Onor.
The entire book reset.
Thor slammed his head onto the desk.
Odin's Regret (A Very Short Story)
Somewhere else—
Alex and Loki watched through a scrying mirror.
Thor was now on page twelve.
Sweating.
Twitching.
Loki grinned. "He misspelled 'there' as 'their.'"
Alex nodded. "That's a full reset."
Thor screamed in the mirror.
Loki laughed so hard he nearly fell over.
"He's never finishing this!"
Alex smirked. "Father once tried."
Loki blinked. "He did?"
Alex nodded.
Years Ago
Odin—newly crowned king—stood before the same scripture.
Confident.
Proud.
He wrote for three days straight.
On the fourth day—
He misspelled a rune.
The book reset.
Odin stared.
Slowly.
Silently.
Then—
He turned around.
And hit his forehead against the wall.
Once.
Twice.
Frigga had gently taken the quill away after that.
Back in the present—
Loki burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"He HEADBUTTED A WALL?!"
Alex laughed openly.
"Cracked the stone."
Loki wiped tears from his eyes.
"Oh, Thor is doomed."
The Talking Armor Prank
"Ready?" Loki asked.
Alex nodded. "Already woven."
They stood outside the training yard.
Thor marched out in full royal armor, trying to look dignified despite visible exhaustion.
He cleared his throat.
"My people—"
His armor spoke.
"YOU LOOK MAGNIFICENT TODAY, MY KING."
Thor froze.
"…What?"
The armor continued.
"TRULY, YOUR ARMS ARE HEROICALLY LARGE."
Loki bit his hand to keep from laughing.
Alex calmly adjusted the illusion.
Thor tried again.
"I stand before you as—"
"CONFIDENCE LEVEL: EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE."
The crowd stared.
Someone snorted.
Thor's face turned red.
"STOP TALKING!"
"NEGATIVE. PRAISE MODE ENGAGED."
Loki collapsed laughing.
Alex leaned casually against a pillar, shoulders shaking.
Thor grabbed his helmet.
"I WILL DESTROY THIS ARMOR."
"ANGER DETECTED. STILL HANDSOME."
The entire yard exploded with laughter.
Thor dropped to his knees.
"…Why do you hate me?"
From a balcony above—
Odin closed his eye.
Slowly.
Frigga smiled.
"…Alex."
Odin sighed.
"…And Loki."
Somewhere nearby, Loki whispered to Alex:
"Next time—singing cape."
Alex considered it.
"…Later."