I didn't wait for Argenta to find me. My skin felt itchy, and not the kind that soap could fix. It was that shadow-magic again, crawling under my surface like a thousand tiny insects.
Athan was still asleep when I left the room, looking way too peaceful for a guy who had just handed over his hearts to a girl who could barely summon a dark cloud without getting a headache.
I needed answers. Real ones. Not the "wait until you're ready" crap Athan kept feeding me.
I headed for the Great Library. It was a place I usually avoided because it smelled like dust and old people's secrets. It was massive, with shelves that went up so high they disappeared into the ceiling gloom. I walked past a few lower-level demons who were busy filing scrolls. They didn't look at me. I liked that. I was starting to realize that being "the wingless queen" meant I was basically invisible until I did something to annoy someone.
"Looking for something, Your Majesty?"
I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was an old scholar, his skin like wrinkled parchment and eyes that looked like cloudy marbles.
"Just... history," I lied. My voice sounded thin. "The boring stuff. Soul bonds. Hybrid magic. You know, light reading."
The scholar pointed a bony finger toward the Forbidden Stacks.
"Section Nine. Behind the curtain. But be careful. Some books in this palace have teeth."
I laughed, then realized he wasn't joking. I walked toward Section Nine. The air grew colder here. The shadows in the corners felt heavier, more like the ones living inside me. I found a thick, leather-bound book that looked like it had been dropped in a puddle a century ago. The title was embossed in faded gold: The Union of Blood and Shadow: A Guide for the Untethered.
I sat on a small wooden stool and opened it. The pages were brittle.
"Okay," I whispered to myself. "Let's see what the big deal is."
I flipped past chapters on blood rituals and wing-binding. Then I found it. A chapter titled The First Surge. My eyes scanned the messy handwriting.
> "When a hybrid—born of Aetherian light and witch shadow—first achieves a physical union of the soul, the magic stored within the vessel cannot remain contained. The climax of the flesh triggers the climax of the power."
I blinked. My brain felt like it was spinning. The climax of the power? That sounded like a fancy way of saying I was going to explode.
I kept reading, my fingers shaking so hard the page rattled.
> "For those without wings to vent the excess energy, the surge is internal. It is a magical detonation. In the year 302, a hybrid girl in the southern reaches leveled an entire fortress because her husband didn't know how to anchor her magic. The power seeks an exit. If there are no wings, it finds the nearest conduit."
"The nearest conduit," I muttered. That would be Athan.
I leaned back, my head hitting the cold stone wall. This was why he was scared. This was why he kept stopping. It wasn't just that he was afraid of being a..beast"
or hurting my "soft" body. He was afraid that if we actually went all the way, I would turn into a magical bomb and take out half the palace. Or worse, I'd blast him right through the wall.
"Only a True King's anchor can survive the surge. But the King must be willing to burn with her."
"Is that a joke?" I asked the empty room. "Burn with me?"
I thought about Athan's two hearts. I thought about how he'd told me they both belonged to me. He probably knew this. He probably knew that touching me was like playing with a loaded crossbow. And yet, he still wanted me. He just didn't want to die. Or he didn't want me to feel the guilt of killing him.
I felt a sudden wave of anger. Why did everything have to be so hard? Why couldn't I just be a normal girl who got married and had a normal, non-explosive night with her husband?
"Finding anything interesting?"
I slammed the book shut. The sound echoed like a gunshot. Athan was standing at the entrance to the stacks. He was dressed for the day now…leather armor, heavy boots, his wings tucked tightly against his spine. He looked like the King again. The gentle version from last night was gone.
"How long have you been there?" I asked. I tried to hide the book behind my back, which was stupid because the book was the size of a pizza box.
"Long enough," he said. He walked toward me, his boots clicking on the floor. He didn't look angry, but he looked... heavy. Like he was carrying the weight of the whole mountain. "You weren't in the room."
"I wanted to read," I said. "Is that a crime now?"
"In this section? Usually, yes." He reached out, his hand wrapping around the spine of the book. I let him take it. He didn't even have to look at the cover to know what it was.
"So. You know."
"I know I'm a bomb," I said, my voice rising. "Why didn't you just tell me? Why make it about you being a 'beast'? You're afraid I'm going to kill you!"
Athan threw the book onto the table. It made a dull thud. "I'm not afraid of dying, Celeste. I've lived four hundred years. Death and I are old friends. I'm afraid of what happens to you if that surge goes wrong. If I can't catch all that power, it will tear you apart from the inside. You don't have wings to bleed off the heat. You'll burn up before you even realize what's happening."
I stared at him. I had been so busy thinking about him that I hadn't even considered that I might be the one who died.
"Oh," I said. It was a small, pathetic sound.
"Yes. Oh." Athan stepped closer, his shadow falling over me. He smelled like cold air and that burnt incense from the bedroom. "I'm trying to keep you alive, Little Bird. Even if it means I have to starve."
"But the book said... it said a King can anchor it," I whispered. I reached out, my fingers catching the edge of his armor. "It said you have to be willing to burn with me."
Athan's jaw tightened. I could see the pulse in his neck. "And you think I wouldn't? I'd walk into a furnace for you. But I won't gamble with your life just because I'm horny."
The bluntness of it made me flinch.
"That's not... it's not just about that. I want to be yours. Truly yours. I'm tired of being half of something."
"We wait," Athan said. It wasn't a suggestion. It was an order. "We wait until your shadows are stronger. Until you can control the itch. Until I'm sure I can be the anchor you need."
He turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm. My shadows flared out, dark and messy, wrapping around his wrist. They felt hot.
"What if I don't want to wait?" I asked.
Athan looked down at my hand, then up at my face. His eyes were flecked with that dangerous crimson again. "Then you're a fool. And I'm a bigger one for letting you get this close."
He pulled his arm away, but he didn't leave. He stood there, looking at me like I was a puzzle he couldn't solve.
"The Lords are waiting for me," he said, his voice dropping to a rough whisper. "Don't go looking in any more forbidden books, Celeste. Some things are better left as mysteries."
He walked away, leaving me alone in the dusty silence of Section Nine. I looked at the book on the table. The Union of Blood and Shadow.
I didn't believe him. Not entirely. I saw the way he looked at me. He wanted the explosion as much as I did. He was just better at pretending he didn't.
I touched my stomach, feeling the hum of power deep inside. It was there. It was waiting. And I knew, deep down, that no matter how much Athan tried to protect me, that surge was coming.
And when it did, I wasn't going to let him anchor it alone.
I picked up the book and hid it under my robe. I had a feeling I was going to need to read the rest of those chapters. Especially the ones about surviving the fire.
I walked out of the library, my head held high. I wasn't just the keeper of his hearts anymore. I was a girl with a match, standing in a room full of gunpowder.
And for the first time in my life, I wasn't afraid to see what happened when things started to burn.
I made it back to the hall when I ran into Argenta. She looked frantic.
"There you are!" she hissed, grabbing my shoulder. "The Aetherian ambassadors are at the gates. They're claiming you were kidnapped. They're demanding to see the Queen."
I looked at her, then back toward the library where I'd left Athan. My heart…my single, messy heart…started to beat fast.
"They want to see the Queen?" I asked, a cold smile spreading across my face. "Well. Let's go show them what a kidnapped girl looks like."
Argenta blinked, surprised by the edge in my voice. "Are you alright? You look... different."
"I'm fine, Argenta," I said, adjusting the heavy book under my robe. "I'm just ready to start a few fires."
As we walked toward the throne room, I could feel the shadows dancing at my heels. They weren't drooping anymore. They were sharp.
Athan was wrong about one thing. I wasn't a little bird.
I was the storm. And the storm didn't wait for permission to break.