"Haste makes waste."
I've heard that expression more than once. But I never thought it would apply to me in this way.
Winter, black ice… It probably wouldn't have been as insulting if I'd slipped and ended up under a car. But the fact that I managed to spin my car out on an empty road… On winter tires, no less.
Yeah, it doesn't do me much credit. Maybe I could try to justify it by saying I was in a hurry for a good reason. Though, who cares anymore? It certainly won't help Marina, or me…
Or those blurry figures on the roadside, for that matter, who are rushing toward me through half-meter snowdrifts. Cold… It's so cold.
Because I'm dying, or because the tree punched through the windshield? What difference does it make now, really?
Pain shot through my chest and I coughed. It hurt even more. And not from the blood-red patches I was hacking up onto the light plastic of the mangled dashboard. But from the huge chunk of wood that had pierced my chest on the right side.
"Hang in there, kid!" one of the blurry shapes shouted at me in an elderly man's voice. "Why'd you have to… Where the hell were you rushing off to, you young idiots?"
I really wanted to tell him exactly where I was heading.
To tell him about Marina, about everything… I wanted to get it off my chest one last time, didn't I?
It's starting to get dark. How long have I been lying here? When I went off the road, it was barely past nine in the morning… Oh, looks like I'm dying.
Too bad. Pointlessly, ingloriously… Alright, gotta save my strength, the guy said to hold on. I have to trust him—I'm the one who "left" the road, not him. You need to trust experienced people…
For some reason, it got a little warmer. And brighter. And the pain faded somewhere. The darkening world filled with colors. Mostly blue and red. Flashing right under me, over and over.
Wait a minute—those are emergency lights! And there are the angels in blue uniforms with red crosses. And the traffic cops in vests, scurrying around the car. Oh, even the rescue crew! What's that thing they're holding? Oh, hydraulic cutters! I've only seen those on the news on TV.
Hey-hey-hey, guys! I'm here, I'm right here… Literally, about ten meters above you.
What⁈
* * *
"Seen enough?"
That was the first thing the Voice said to me.
To be honest, I was even starting to get bored from hopelessness, watching my blood-soaked body being pried out of what, six months ago, had been a brand-new European sedan. Well, so much for the famous quality. The steering rack had jammed completely. And the wheels were locked… Looks like I messed up somewhere during my race with fate.
Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. I don't care: I see the ambulance doctor shaking his head. Shaking it in denial.
"Uh-huh," I waved a hand at the Voice without looking, like, come on over, don't be shy. Two ghosts are more fun. "Come on in, you'll be my guest."
The Voice looked like a wisp of light, white mist. Sort of… warming, cozy, I guess… I don't know how to describe it.
"I truly am just a guest," the Voice admitted. "But you, as you can see, have no place here now either."
"I see," I replied. "Too bad…"
"Pity yourself for dying?" the Voice clarified.
"Pity that I was in a hurry," I admitted. "Right now, I'd definitely be with Marina already."
"You know you couldn't have helped her," the well-informed Voice said. "That's beyond human power. Beyond your power. The medicine is only a small part of the success. The surgery…"
"At least I'd be by her side. And the surgery would have been a success, definitely. But without the drugs… They're not in the hospital. I let her down, and myself… I don't care about myself anymore. I feel sorry for Marina. I couldn't…"
"Caring for your loved ones is commendable," the Voice agreed. "For those who are younger. Weaker…"
"She's my first love," I admitted. "Ten years together, practically… 'Like behind a stone wall,' yeah…"
The Voice fell silent. For some reason, I, who was usually curious, couldn't have cared less about what was happening. I promised Marina I'd make it. And I didn't.
"The flight delay, the long security check, the sleet and rain outside, the sudden cold snap," the Voice listed everything I'd been cursing since dawn. "Are you sure it's only your fault?"
"It's always only your own fault," I said. "At least in this case. If I'd had a second chance…"
"And what would you have done?" the Voice asked with interest. Did I imagine it, or was it talking very… quickly? In a hurry to get somewhere?
"I would have done everything right. If I'd known everything I know now. I wouldn't have come home from work and gone to bed a month ago, which is why I couldn't order the medicine on time—I'd have sat down at that damned computer and done it!" I got angry. "If only I'd known…"
"And what if I told you that what happened can be fixed?" the Voice suddenly asked.
"Sure, go ahead, divine Entity," I laughed, helpless. "Turn it all back. Where do I sign in blood to go back a month?"
"That… I can't help with anymore," said the Voice. "But something is within my power."
"Oh, really?" I was surprised.
Blinking, I realized everything around me was gone. The ice, the snow, the car, the people… Even the light of the emergency beacons.
Just me, a white lump resembling wet cotton wool, and the darkness around us.
"I can save her," said the Voice. Where was its mouth, anyway? What kind of unknown…
"Save Marina?" I tensed up.
"Exactly that," the Voice assured me. "You help me, I help you. A mutually beneficial deal."
"And how are you going to help me if you can't bring me back?" I wasn't the only one who'd hit his head hard, apparently.
"Your body is dead," said the Voice. "I can't help you personally in this world anymore. But, while there's still time, I can cure your beloved. Not just from the disease that's killing her. I can also make it so she can become a mother. Fulfill her most cherished dream…"
"Our dream," I corrected automatically.
"Your dream," the Voice agreed. "But, in return, you will go where someone… something needs saving… Complicated language, why did you make it like that?"
"Get to the point, fluff," I wanted to grab it by the scruff, but… it's a cloud. Grab it by the fuzzy part, and maybe it'll like it? "I'll die, but she'll live and be happy, right? My Marina?"
"Right. In return, you will go to… a familiar place. Where difficulties and a mission await you."
"I don't care, do it."
"You will have enemies…"
"I don't care, just do it."
"Perhaps… friends."
"Where's the ear I need to scream into?"
"You will never return here again," the Voice warned.
"But she'll be happy?" I clarified.
"Yes," the Voice said, somehow distractedly. "You're… agreeing rather quickly. The others… they don't care, they want something else… But here. Have you had to sacrifice yourself often?"
"None of your business, fluff," I didn't need any philosophizing psychologists in the dark here. "Come on, do your dirty work, Autobus-sama. Let's roll. Where's the dragon I need to save and the princess…"
And then darkness came. Complete, impenetrable. No flying through glowing tunnels or fantasmagoric visions.
The Voice simply vanished.
And I…