CHAPTER 36 — THE FRUSTRATION OF THE LIVING DEAD
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Kyoichiiro sat leaning against the cold stone wall, his eyes empty, staring ahead. Nothing moved within him—his mind was empty, his feelings empty, everything was empty. He could feel the cold of the stone against his back, but it felt like a distant sensation, like watching a movie about someone else sitting in a dark, cold place.
Amura and Aetheria sat beside him, still eating hard bread from their bags. They weren't speaking—perhaps because they were also tired, or perhaps because they saw Kyoichiiro's expression and decided not to disturb him. The soft sound of their chewing was the only sound in that silent corridor, like the ticking of a clock counting down time they didn't want to know.
Amura: (Looking at Kyoichiiro, still silent, he extended a piece of bread and a leather water pouch) "Kyoichiiro. You haven't eaten. Take this."
Kyoichiiro turned. His empty eyes stared at the bread and water in Amura's hand. He didn't feel hungry—didn't feel anything—but he took it anyway. His hand moved automatically, like a robot running a predetermined program.
He drank the water—it was cold, fresh, and for a moment, he felt something real in his throat. He bit the bread—it was hard, dry, but still edible. He chewed slowly, without taste, without awareness.
How do I prevent this from happening? he thought, and his mind began to move again, slowly but surely, like a wheel that started turning after being still for too long. I'm still confused about how. Even if I can stop it, will everything be alright? No, right? But I haven't tried it yet. There's no harm in trying, is there?
He swallowed the bread, feeling its rough texture in his throat. He closed his eyes for a moment, regulating his breathing—breathing in deeply, exhaling slowly, as he had learned in his previous life. Deep breathing helped calm his mind, helped him think clearly.
There's no harm in trying, he thought, and he opened his eyes. I have to try something different. Something I haven't done before.
He stood—slowly, not rushing, but steadily. The bread in his hand was still half-eaten, but he tucked it into his jacket pocket.
Kyoichiiro: (His voice flat, but firm) "Let's continue. There's something we need to finish."
Amura: (Startled, but quickly standing) "Now? We just rested—"
Kyoichiiro: "We don't have much time."
Aetheria: (Also standing, her face still anxious) "Kyoichiiro-san... what's wrong? You've seemed strange since earlier."
Kyoichiiro: (Not answering. He just stared ahead, into the endless dark corridor) "Let's go."
They began to walk—Kyoichiiro in front, Amura beside him, Aetheria behind. Kyoichiiro didn't speak, didn't explain. He just kept walking, with quick and steady steps.
I hope this one works, he thought, and for a moment, he felt hope in his chest—a small hope, but real. I hope this time I can stop it.
Kyoichiiro: (Without turning) "We need to hurry."
Amura: (Still confused, but following) "Hurry? Where to?"
Kyoichiiro: "You'll know."
Aetheria, without being asked, activated her wind magic—a thin wind enveloped their feet, giving them an extra speed boost, making their steps lighter and faster. They ran through the dark corridor, passing the same turns, passing the same walls, passing the same lamps.
And then, Kyoichiiro heard it again.
The sound of footsteps. Many footsteps. Running. Approaching.
Amura: (Also hearing it, his eyes narrowing) "Footsteps... Wait, someone's coming."
Kyoichiiro: (Not stopping, not slowing down) "Just ignore it. Hurry to the girl."
Amura: (Startled, confused) "The girl? What girl?"
Kyoichiiro: (Not answering. He just kept running, his eyes fixed ahead, to the place where the shadow would appear—the same place, the same time, everything the same)
And sure enough. From the darkness ahead, the shadow appeared. The same little girl. Long tangled hair. Torn clothes. A face full of fear. She ran toward them, her large, dark eyes full of panic.
Little Girl: (Her voice breathless, barely audible) "Help... please help..."
Amura: (Startled, his hand moving to his sword hilt) "What—who—"
Kyoichiiro: (Not waiting. He darted forward, reaching the girl in an instant, and with a quick, firm movement, he covered the girl's mouth with his hand) "Please don't say anything."
The girl was startled—her dark eyes widened, her small body froze in place. She didn't move, didn't speak, only stood there, her eyes still full of fear, but also with something else—something like confusion, like hope.
Kyoichiiro waited. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Four seconds. Five seconds.
He closed his eyes, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. No explosion. No blood. No death. Only silence.
I survived, he thought, and for a moment, he felt an incredible relief in his chest—relief that made his knees feel weak, that made his hands tremble. I survived. This time I succeeded.
Kyoichiiro: (Opening his eyes, releasing his hand from the girl's mouth, and smiling—a small, but genuine smile) "I survived. Now, we—"
He couldn't finish his sentence.
Because at that moment, his head exploded. Along with the girl's head. Simultaneously.
Blood and chunks of flesh flew in all directions, and both their bodies fell to the floor—headless bodies lying close together, like two dolls whose strings had been cut at the same time.
Amura: (Screaming—not an ordinary scream, but a scream that came from his chest, from the deepest place) "KYOICHIRO—!"
Aetheria: (Also screaming, but her voice drowned in Amura's scream, in the sound of blood hitting the stone floor, in the sound of bodies falling) "NO—!"
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And then, Kyoichiiro was aware.
He was aware that he was sitting. His back was against the cold stone wall. Beside him, Amura and Aetheria were eating bread. They weren't speaking. They weren't looking at him. They just sat there, like before, like always.
Kyoichiiro: (Silent. His eyes empty, his mind empty, everything empty) "..."
Lies, he thought, and for the first time, he felt something strange in his chest—not fear, not anger, but something colder, deeper, like ice creeping into his bones. I died again? What went wrong? I already covered the girl's mouth, didn't I? Why did I die and come back to this place again? What's wrong?
He bit his lip—hard, until it hurt, until blood flowed on his tongue. The pain was real. The pain couldn't be faked.
This is the fourth time, he thought, and his mind began to grow chaotic, like a wheel spinning too fast. The fourth time I've died and returned to this place. Then what should I do?
He felt his hands begin to tremble—a trembling he couldn't control, spreading from his fingertips throughout his body. He raised his hands to his head, gripping his own hair, like trying to pull out whatever was inside his skull.
Amura: (Seeing Kyoichiiro suddenly gripping his head, his voice anxious) "Kyoichiiro? What's wrong? Are you alright?"
Aetheria: (Also seeing, her face pale) "Kyoichiiro-san? You look pale. What happened?"
Kyoichiiro didn't answer. He just sat there, his hands still gripping his head, his eyes empty, his mind spinning.
What went wrong? he thought, and his mind spun like a wheel that couldn't stop. What should I do? How do I stop this?
He turned toward Amura—staring at him with empty eyes, with an unreadable expression. He wanted to ask, wanted to ask for help, but the words wouldn't come out.
What should I do? he thought, and for the first time, he felt something strange in his chest—not fear, not anger, but despair. A cold, hollow despair that he couldn't fight.