Li Weiwen had indeed read the letter with the composure Guo Yungang had urged of her. She lay stretched out on the grass by the riverbank while the sheep beside her grazed idly ---- the few kept aside by the company for the kitchen. Her first reading was hasty, careless; she made no effort to savor the meaning. She only wanted to see what he had written. By the time she reached the end, the beginning was already lost to her memory. To her, once it was read, it was read ---- nothing more. After all, it was merely his sophistry, not worth a second thought. Nothing in her own heart would be changed because of it. The letter's fate, she decided, could only be to tear it to pieces and burn it away. Yet scarcely two minutes later, her hand moved almost of its own accord, fishing the letter out again. She read it through once more, only to arrive at the same conclusion: utter nonsense. With a careless motion, she crumpled the thick pages into a ball, shoved it into her trouser pocket, and told herself it was finished. Tilting her clear green eyes toward the sky, she gazed at drifting clouds, a soft breeze brushing her cheek. But her heart was not as tranquil as the scene before her. The words of the letter circled and circled in her mind, refusing to be banished. At last she drew the crumpled paper out again, smoothing each wrinkled sheet with patient fingers, one by one, until they lay flat. This time she forced herself into stillness and read from the beginning, weighing every sentence, every word. And as she read, a subtle shift unsettled her heart. How could this be? She couldn't help but recall her few encounters and conversations with him, and only then did she realize that she had never truly listened to what Guo Yungang was saying. It had always been her who one-sidedly severed every possibility of connection between them, even the most ordinary interaction. Never had she imagined what kind of torment a man was enduring after kissing her twice. She read it over and over ---- five or six times ---- before finally returning to the base at dusk. That afternoon, while tending the sheep, she found herself entangled in thoughts over the letter. She ate dinner absentmindedly that evening, her mind still elsewhere. Weighed down by her thoughts, she busied herself preparing breakfast for the next day. Xu Yumei watched her with occasional concern. Seeing that she had no intention of talking, Xu Yumei asked nothing. Instead, she drew her gently into a brief, caring embrace, and softly urged her to go home.
That evening, Li Weibing was turning one of her old clothes into a small garment for her child. Li Weiwen also held a pair of scissors to help, though she kept getting distracted, her mind elsewhere. Li Weibing asked:
"What's wrong with you? Did you read the letter?"
Li Weiwen nodded, appearing focused on cutting the clothes. But Li Weibing noticed her distraction. Placing her hand over hers on the scissors, she said:
"I can easily turn this clothes into a small garment for my baby but I don't want it to end up just as a diaper. If you have something on your mind, you can tell me. Please don't take it out on my clothes."
Li Weiwen lifted her green eyes to look at her, hesitating before slowly taking out the letter and handing it to Li Weibing. Li Weibing didn't take it, just glancing at her, and asked:
"Are you sure you want me to read it?"
Seeing Li Weiwen nod, Li Weibing took the letter from her hand. Looking at the crumpled letter, she cast a suspicious glance at her again but said nothing. She quickly read through it. Yet for some reason, she found herself reading it over once more. Finally, she returned the letter to Li Weiwen, pausing silently for a while, just staring at her. Li Weiwen called carefully in a low voice:
"Sister Liu'er!"
Finally, Li Weibing let out a long sigh and said:
"I never expect Commander Guo to have thought everything through. I always believed he was acting on nothing more than a reckless impulse, without considering the consequences. But from this letter he seems like a man one could entrust a lifetime to." She turned to Li Weiwen and asked gently, "What do you think after reading it? What matters most is your own feelings."
"Sister Liu'er, you know I have never thought about such things. I always believed that I would never consider the marriage in my life. But after reading this letter, I... I don't know what to do."
"So does that mean you might start to consider it from now on?"
"But how can I? With my background and my green eyes, how could I? Wouldn't they only bring him harm? You have already read it. If he were with me, he would lose both his Party membership and his military registration. Judging from his letter, you can see he is someone with an upbeat spirit and an unyielding nature."
"Yes, you're right about that. But what I want to know is what you think about it if you set aside everything: your background, your eyes, his Party membership and his military registration?"
At this, Li Weiwen lowered her head and whispered softly:
"He is a good man."
"Xue'er, I don't believe that after reading this long letter of a thousand words, all you can say is one simple sentence: he is a good man. Just search your heart carefully. Of course we can't simply draw any definite conclusion from one letter, nor can we let it decide your whole life. What matters is to see what kind of person he truly is. So what do you plan to do?"
Li Weiwen still kept her head lowered and murmured softly:
"I don't know."
"You naughty girl! I don't believe that you don't know until now. Looking at you, so absentminded, and you still pretend you don't know."
"But, Sister Liu'er, I truly don't know. Just as what you said, if we set aside all those external things, then from this letter he really seems like someone trustworthy. Yet I can't set aside those external matters."
Li Weibing looked at the beautiful young girl with sympathy, yet in her heart she agreed with what she said. Indeed, these matters could not simply be brushed away. If that was the case, why start a relationship that could never have an ending? But if it never began, it would also be a considerable regret for Xue'er. No, not only Xue'er but Guo Yungang as well. Just as Sister Xu had told her, judging from their appearances alone, the two of them seemed a perfect match. With a sigh, She said:
"Xue'er, the reason I ask you is whether you are heartbroken over this feeling that ends before it even begins. Perhaps... you've already fallen in love with Commander Guo."
"Sister Liu'er, do you think I even have the right to fall in love with anyone? Even since our grandpa died, I have known that I am nothing but a jinx. And yet I'm still grateful because I have you, Grandma You and even my mother, though I severed ties with her. All of you have loved me in your own ways. That is enough. You are everything to me."
Li Weibing felt a pang of sorrow pierce her heart. She pulled Li Li Weiwen into her arms and said softly:
"Xue'er, my dear little sister, don't speak of yourself like that. I won't allow it. Grandpa's death wasn't your fault. It was an accident. And look at me, don't I have nothing but good fortune with you as my sister? On the contrary, I'm happy now. Your brother-in-law cherishes me and now there is even a child on the way. I want this baby to grow up surrounded by your love."
Just then, a sudden knock sounded at the door, followed by Xu Yumei's voice calling from outside:
"Weibing, Weiwen, are you asleep yet? I've come over for a chat."
Li Weibing whispered to Li Weiwen:
"Commander Guo's persuader has come." Then she called out, "Sister Xu, come in. The door isn't locked."
Xu Yumei entered with a small bundle in her hand and said with a smile:
"I saw your lamp was still lit so I thought you must not have gone to bed yet. What are you two busy with?"
Li Weibing replied:
"Oh, I am turning one of my old dresses into a little garment for the baby."
Xu Yumei spoke to Li Weibing warmly:
"That's great. I saved some of Junjun's clothes from when he was a baby. They're all washed and clean. If you don't mind, you might make use of them in time." With that, she united the bundle, revealing several small garments, fresh and neatly folded. She added, "When I was pregnant with Junjun, I didn't know if it would be a boy or a girl, but in my heart I prayed for a son so that the Zhang family line could be carried on. And as it turned out, Heaven granted my wish. Now I hope the same for you ---- that you will give birth to a strong, healthy boy. If that happens, Lin Feng will be overjoyed and then he will cherish you all the more."
As she said this, her eyes drifted toward Li Weiwen, who sat there silently with her head lowered, pretending to measure where the scissors should fall. Li Weibing followed Xu Yumei's glance, smiled softly and said:
"You little rascal, where are your manners? Sister Xu is here and you won't even greet her. The older you get, the less polite you become." Then turning to Xu Yumei, she added, "Don't mind her, Sister Xu. She's just not in a good mood today."
Xu Yumei cast a glance at Li Weiwen, then went on to say to Li Weibing:
"If I really meant to fuss with her, I wouldn't have shown up today. This girl has been sulking the whole evening, wouldn't so much as look at me. Just like you said ---- a naughty girl!"
With that, she reached out and tapped Li Weiwen lightly on the head with a finger, then, without hesitation, took the scissors from her hand and began cutting the cloth herself.