OUR WIFI IS FINALLY BACK!!!!! GO TO HELL, PLDT!!!!!!
Haven't uploaded for a week now because this fuckass Wi-Fi provider of ours was slow as fuck to respond. Apparently, there was something wrong with the connection at the pole or the distribution box or something like that.
Our Wi-Fi modem was deadass blinking red for four days straight, and I was forced to use mobile data, which is really slow here in our area. Just loading one panel of any manga/manhwa from any site took forever!!! I haven't even been in the mood to read any novels on Novel Updates or the Webnovel app after catching up with the Shangri-La Frontier WN. I just opened them to read the comments.
My personal USB only has Anohana, Baccano!, FLCL, Code Geass R2, Emiya Gohan, Overlord Season 1, I Want to Eat Your Pancreas, the second half of Evangelion, Maquia, Sekirei, Ouran High School Host Club, Special A, the original Fruits Basket, Yamato Nadeshiko, Death Parade, Kantai Collection, Maid-sama!, Psycho-Pass, Infinite Stratos, and Trinity Seven, all of which I've already finished multiple times back then. During those days with a slow connection, I just rewatched shit to satisfy my boredom. Doomscrolling really ruined me.
This fuckass PLDT is always at the speed of light when it's time to pay our bills, but if we have a problem, they're slower than a snail with Down syndrome when it comes to fixing it.
Writing without proper access to the internet really ain't for me, dawg. I'm constantly searching for references and reading the Mato Seihei manga at the same time while writing. Man, at this rate, I've already memorized specific panels just from how many times I've reread Mato Seihei.
I'll write again when I get my interest in writing back.
For now, I'm finally going to read Wistoria.
Fuck you, PLDT.
Sincerely,
One of your haters
********
While standing at the crosswalk and waiting for the light to change, I stared at my phone, scrolling through my manga list on my usual pirate site.
And there it was again.
The seventeenth "MILFs in Your Area" ad of the day.
God, these things were annoying.
"Who the hell thought it was a good idea to invent pop-up ads?"
I let out a frustrated shout, ignoring the strange looks the nearby pedestrians were sending my way.
Seriously, the fake "X" buttons were even worse.
With a sigh, I slipped my phone into my pocket and started crossing the street as soon as the pedestrian light turned green.
Pulling out my earphones, I plugged them into my MP3 player and began humming along as the opening theme of Doraemon filled my ears.
"Konna koto ii na, dekitara ii na~~"
Skipping down the sidewalk, I turned into an alleyway, cheerfully singing along when I suddenly felt something change.
The air.
The atmosphere.
Everything around me felt... wrong.
My smile faded.
Slowly, I opened my eyes.
"What the fuck?!"
The curse escaped my mouth before I could stop it.
The familiar buildings of my neighborhood were gone.
Instead, I found myself surrounded by trees.
A lot of trees.
And somehow, I was standing on a thick tree branch several stories above the ground.
I nearly stumbled backward, but instinctively grabbed the trunk and steadied myself.
Thank Chihuahua Jesus for that.
One wrong step and I would've been introduced to my old friend, Pain.
"Shit..."
Looking down only reinforced that fact.
The fall would've been nasty.
"Is this some kind of joke? A prank? Where's the camera?"
My voice echoed throughout the forest.
Did I just get transported to another world?
Or did some bored wizard from Earth decide it'd be funny to teleport me into a random forest?
Both explanations sounded completely insane.
Unfortunately, they were also the most reasonable theories I had at the moment.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to calm down.
Maybe this was just a nightmare.
A very vivid nightmare.
And if it wasn't...
Well, at least I'd spent years working out because I wanted to become like Yujiro Hanma and also learn the Kamehameha.
Never thought that weird hobby would actually come in handy.
"Alright. First things first."
I needed to get off this tree.
I could also hear waves crashing somewhere nearby.
Thankfully, it was daytime.
If this had happened in the middle of the night, I would've been terrified.
Actually...
Now that I thought about it, I was still terrified. What if there were monsters?Dangerous animals? Sentinent plants?
Was there even drinkable water around here?
Food?
Shelter?
"Shit. Might as well try."
After climbing down from the tree, I took a deep breath and struck a dramatic pose.
"System!"
Silence.
Maybe it didn't hear me.
"System!"
Still nothing.
They say that third time's the charm.
"Syste—"
***
After numerous failed attempts to unlock some ridiculously overpowered cheat ability, I finally accepted reality and headed toward the sound of the ocean.
Pushing through a patch of bushes, I emerged onto a beach.
A vast blue ocean stretched as far as the eye could see.
Walking across the sand, I slowly inhaled the salty sea air.
It was oddly relaxing.
Under different circumstances, I would've happily sat down and enjoyed the scenery.
Unfortunately, fate seemed determined to make my life as miserable as possible.
Was I naturally unlucky or something?
Last year, my parents died on Christmas Eve after being hit by a drunk truck driver.
My girlfriend cheated on me because she claimed our relationship lacked excitement, despite the fact that I genuinely loved her and treated her well.
Then I lost my savings after a reindeer somehow stole my wallet.
Don't ask.
Even I don't know.
"It is what it is, I guess."
Stripping down to my boxers, I laid my school uniform and pants aside before collapsing onto the sand.
Staring at the sky, I contemplated my life and wondered why the Goddess of RNG seemed determined to use me as her personal punching bag.
"Should I just kill myself?" I muttered.
"Hell no!"
I immediately slapped both cheeks.
Hard.
The negative thoughts retreated slightly.
Standing up, I stretched, hopped around, and threw a few shadowboxing combinations.
That's when I noticed something strange.
My body felt lighter than usual.
Much lighter.
"Ack?!"
I nearly jumped out of my skin.
A voice had suddenly spoken inside my head.
Was I going insane?
Had I finally snapped?
What the hell?
Were you a ghost?
A fragment of some goddess?
A jade beauty whose sect betrayed her, forcing her soul to possess my body so she could seek revenge?
I froze.
"...Excuse me?"
So I really had been transported to another world.
But more importantly...
Did I hear that correctly?
"You're kidding, right?"
"So you're telling me..."
I rubbed my forehead.
"That you were literally born from my determination not to get laid after my first heartbreak?"
I stared at the sky.
"I desperately need a punchline right now."
The universe offered none.
With a sigh, I decided to focus on the more important issue.
"Fine. What was that mysterious energy you mentioned earlier?"
"Is that why I felt uncomfortable earlier?"
That explained a lot.
Now that I thought about it, my body had always been strangely resilient.
I survived being hit by a motorcycle as a child without any permanent injuries.
I once fell headfirst from a considerable height in sixth grade and somehow walked away with little more than a headache.
Most people would've ended up in a hospital.
I ended up eating ice cream afterward.
"And what exactly are these magicules you're talking about?"
(The End?)