The next person my illustrious self decided to grace with a visit was Kakashi. A few doors down the hallway and I was at the right one.
I opened it and saw the same old white‑haired mug lying in the bed, jonin vest missing. A second ago he'd been staring into his little orange book; right now he was staring at me.
"How's life, 'Captain'?" I leaned against the doorjamb, putting some extra sarcasm into the last word.
"M-mm… I've been better. What do you want, Naruto?"
"Just decided to check on your health. What's the big deal?"
"Plenty," he said flatly. "I've landed in the hospital more than once because of you. But this is the first time you've ever visited."
That last part came out a bit annoyed.
"Oh, give me a break," I waved a hand at him. "You should be thanking me for dragging your soggy ass out of danger."
He set the book down on his legs and folded his arms.
"Actually, I wanted to say that I'm deeply insulted and offended. Got it? You should have pulled me out right away."
"You were supposed to do a lot of things too," I pointed out, and Kakashi looked away. "So how about you don't start. Or I might forget I've already taken my revenge and decide to do it again."
Hatake's eye snapped back to me.
"So you did do it on purpose! I've already brought you a ton of cakes, and you still made us pay for dinner. Naruto, you're just…"
"Irresistible? I know."
Kakashi fell silent and started glancing around, clearly looking for something heavy to throw at me.
"About you being offended and not doing your job as captain. You're the one who filed those complaints on me, right?"
Hatake finally stopped fussing around; his visible eye curved into a nasty smile.
"Yep. Hokage-sama is waiting for you at the Residence. Today."
"Mhm-hm." I nodded. "That's manageable. Anyway, back to your screw‑ups. Someone else will be dropping by to see you today too."
Kakashi's face went sour again.
"It would've been better if you'd just quietly brought some fruit. Kids these days," he started to grumble.
"You didn't earn it," I said, stepping away from the door. "Alright, I've got other things to do. See you… when are you getting discharged?"
"In three days," he grumbled and waved his hand to shoo me out faster. "Alright, get out of here. You interrupted me at the best part."
He picked his book back up and covered his face with it.
"You didn't even have any serious injuries… Ah, screw it, enjoy lying around. Have a nice vacation."
I finished that last line with a tone that made it impossible to tell if I was being sincere or not, then closed the door.
"'Sup, you big lug?" I walked in on Sasuke, who raised an eyebrow slightly at the greeting. "Congrats on awakening the Sharingan."
I came closer and, in honor of the occasion, handed him a banana.
With a weird look on his face, the Uchiha accepted the fruit.
"By the way," my face went serious, "I'd have a few things to discuss with you about your actions in battle. But I figure I'll let Kakashi handle that. He's, like, our captain, after all. So just rest."
With Sasuke silently staring after me, I simply walked out.
For him, that was enough attention from me.
"How's life, Hokage-sama?" I walked into the old man's office and dropped into the chair across from him.
"Ah, Naruto, I was just waiting for you," Hiruzen lifted his gaze from his papers. For once he didn't have his pipe in his mouth, but he was still wearing the hat of the village leader. "Kakashi has already filed his report on the mission. It was… unexpected. He also filed three separate complaints against you. Care to elaborate on what happened?"
So I gave him the short version: the client had kinda… screwed us over, and it turned out the head of the local cartel sicced a Swordsman of the Mist on us.
Sarutobi nodded, and for now we shelved that topic and moved on to the complaints against me. The first was for the forced sparring sessions with Kakashi; apparently, he doesn't enjoy getting his ass kicked after missions. I wouldn't enjoy it either, but who told him to agree to lead a genin team? Someone probably did. But it sure as hell wasn't me.
The second, written in tiny cramped handwriting, was all about how I crudely violate every possible ninja protocol. Subordination. And how I, you know, threatened the client at the gate.
And in the third he described in vivid detail how I threw my poor captain and slightly‑less‑poor teammates into battle while I stood off to the side with the "client" and just watched. How my inaction put everyone in danger, blah blah blah.
He let me read through the papers, and while I was reading I did note there was a certain logic to it, and the facts more or less lined up with reality, but mostly it just made me snort.
The whole "three separate complaints" thing had actually been a joke. But he really went and wrote them.
"Regarding the first point," I began, "it's a necessity. Kakashi has only sparred with me voluntarily once. And that was on your orders."
"Perhaps that's because you two already spar so much?"
"Probably. But Hatake is about as much a 'sensei' as a chocolate eye is a Sharingan," I started bitching. "Seriously. If he does teach my teammates anything, it'll be basics at best. And even that will be because we'll figure out what to do ourselves, not because we understand his 'explanations'… Well, okay, maybe now he'll actually teach Sasuke something. But only if Sasuke turns his Sharingan on. Otherwise? Don't see it happening."
"Hmm." Hiruzen stroked his little beard. "In that case, your actions look more justified. What about the rest of the report?"
"Well. So I threatened the client. So what? Happens to the best of us." I shrugged carelessly. "He was way too cocky from the start. And then he set us up like that. I regret not smacking him in the face a couple of times… But there's still time to fix that."
"Ahem, ahem," Hiruzen cleared his throat. "I think that would be excessive."
"As for the third complaint, I didn't put anyone in danger. Koharu taught me along the same lines: let them feel pain, make mistakes, but don't put them in mortal danger. I would've pulled them out if it came to that. And by doing what I did, I gave them a chance to grow as shinobi."
"Your logic is clear, Naruto," the old man sighed. "And you're right, in a way. Experience is the best teacher. But your 'punishment' for Kakashi… keeping him in a Water Prison… that was excessive."
"Nope," I cut him off. "Not excessive. That 'elite jonin' has been acting like he couldn't give a shit from the very beginning. He ignored my request for reconnaissance, called it 'unnecessary,' and because of his laziness we walked into an ambush we weren't ready for. He's the one who put not only himself but his genin in danger. Keeping him in the water for a few minutes so he could think about his behavior was the mildest thing I could've done. But it's fine, I already came up with another way to get back at him…"
Hiruzen froze for a moment, then just waved his hand, cosmic weariness all over his face. Looked like little things like that really didn't get to him anymore.
"Alright, alright, I get it. Let's leave Kakashi. Please, continue. How did you manage to deal with Zabuza and his partner? And where is the Kubikiribocho? Kakashi mentioned in his report that the swordsman had it with him."
"Dealt with it easy," I answered shortly. "Evacuated the injured, took care of the threat. The sword… uh, I broke it. The important fuin are on the hilt, so the blade was just in the way. And... maybe I wanted to humiliate Zabuza a little. Although, for the record, that bandaged guy was more decent than the client. He insulted us less."
"A-and that's… all?" Hiruzen raised a skeptical eyebrow. "'Took care of the threat'? Naruto, we're talking about one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist."
"Yeah. That's it." I shrugged, not planning to go into the details of "disinfestation" and "test subjects."
Hiruzen narrowed his eyes shrewdly, leaning back in his chair. Ah, crap, there he is, the old fox. He's guessing something.
"You know, Kakashi suggested something… He's convinced you ran that reconnaissance at night after all. You wanted it so badly. And therefore," the old man smiled, "I'm ninety‑nine percent sure you have more to tell me about the Land of Waves. And maybe to share your future plans for that region."
Hmph, right on target.
"The Gato problem is solved. Completely," I finally said, letting him know he was right and that the topic was closed.
"I see…" After a few seconds Hiruzen nodded and fell silent, thinking. Then he looked off to the side, like he was remembering something, sighed, and decided not to dig for the sharpest details. "Alright, Naruto. I see the mission was… a success. But still, given your personality… what are your plans for the Land of Waves?"
Man, he really latched onto that. Though to be fair, I really did have some plans…
"Let's just say I'll be getting some benefits out of them. But if we're talking about benefits…" I took the perfect chance to change the subject. "Zabuza is the former leader of Kiri's revolutionary movement. And a Legendary Swordsman. Konoha has a lot of ways to use him. And I'll be waiting for my cut for making those possibilities exist for Konoha in the first place."
Another sigh came from Hiruzen. He leaned on the desk and thought for about ten seconds.
"There are some ideas. But you'll have to return the sword."
"M'kay. Later, after I've studied it in more detail."
"Don't be in a hurry, Naruto. Things like that don't get settled quickly."
That was where our conversation ended. I liked that Hiruzen didn't pry into pointless details, and that he trusted me.
Leaving the Residence, I just shook my head disapprovingly at the "bubble-bubble-bubble-bubble-bubble" that started up in the Hokage's office. Still, it's probably better than alcohol. And the Third doesn't go on drunken rampages, so it's fine, right?
After that I headed for the Land of Waves. I really did have some plans for that country. And now, some time after I'd finished with the bandits, when the locals had had time to check everything and realize something had happened to Gato, it was a pretty convenient moment for me to put a bit of pressure on them.
The situation turned out even better than I'd thought. The daimyo had come to the town where Tazuna lives and where the bridge is being built. On paper, he's also the ruler of the country. He'd brought a few officials with him, supposedly important ones.
The citizens of Waves, of course, were happy the cartel was gone, but that just made them probably shit themselves even harder over the fact that this same cartel had just been erased, just like that. They'd definitely seen the domes of my barriers and they definitely understood where they came from. Ninja from Konoha show up, early in the morning Gato mobilizes his forces, late in the morning weird domes appear over the concentration points of those forces, and when the domes vanish, no one ever sees Gato's men again. Hell of a coincidence, right? And scary as shit to look at.
That's why the daimyo himself dragged his ass over here—to start bending his back before such valiant Konoha shinobi, if necessary. Wouldn't want them to take it as an insult if he didn't come to say thanks.
That's more or less how the town's mayor told it, practically groveling every four words.
When I ordered him to gather this whole "important" crowd in the square in half an hour, he assured me everything would be done in the best possible way and ran off to comply.
Half an hour later I was in that same square. It was already packed, even though I'd clearly asked for fewer people. But whatever, it would do.
The residents—who had already managed to send riders out and confirm that Gato's posts were really empty—stood silently, a mix of fear, hope, and awe on their faces. In the center of the crowd, surrounded by a few terrified officials, stood the daimyo of the Land of Waves himself—an older, but still sturdy man in rich, if slightly rumpled, clothes.
I showed up silently, dropping down from the roof of the nearest building. The crowd gasped and parted, forming a living corridor.
"People of the Land of Waves," I began, my voice loud enough for everyone to hear, but lazy. "I'm pleased to inform you that Gato's tyranny has come to an end. His cartel no longer exists. You can freely finish your bridge, trade, live. In short, you're free again."
A murmur swept across the square, rising into joyful, if still uncertain, shouts. Now they had official confirmation. I gave them a few seconds to celebrate, then raised my hand, calling for silence.
"Daimyo, officials, I like that you're keeping quiet instead of praising me for hours. And that while you're listening, I can get straight to business," I said as I reached the center of the circle and turned to them.
The ruler and his entourage traded glances and hurried to bow in greeting. What made me chuckle in satisfaction was that they understood they didn't need to open their mouths.
"I'm no Good Samaritan," I went on once they'd straightened. "And I'm not happy. Your citizen, the bridge builder Tazuna, hired my team for a C‑rank mission. Escort duty. But instead of a handful of bandits, we ran into an armed cartel, hired samurai, and, most importantly, an S‑class nukenin, one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist."
The officials' and the daimyo's faces went pale. The local ruler looked like he was about to say something, but I cut him off.
"The task we ended up completing—that's not even just an S‑rank mission. It's an operation that costs more than what you're building. But," I paused, sweeping them with my gaze, "I understand the Land of Waves is at rock bottom right now. And it's not going to recover from Gato's rule anytime soon. Still, debts have to be paid."
I watched them all tensely waiting for my verdict.
"So, as an investment, so to speak, I'm leaving you all of Gato's assets. His ships, warehouses, accounts, goods. You can nationalize his business. That'll be enough to lift the country off its knees. Everything… except for one thing. His mansion on this island. From this moment on, it belongs to me." I turned my head to the mayor, who was standing nearby. "Until my mission to protect Tazuna is over, and maybe sometimes after that, I'll be using it. Find trustworthy people to look after it. And I want a full cleaning done there by the time I arrive in three or four days. Replace the beds, the plumbing. And the wallpaper, if it's ugly."
The mayor and, for some reason, the visiting officials all bobbed their heads hastily.
"Back to the country's business," I continued, "and your debt to me. My… financial consultant will go over the details with you."
Next to me, without smoke or noise, my shadow clone appeared, dressed in a perfectly tailored business suit, a black briefcase in hand. He adjusted his illusory glasses and looked at the daimyo with a businesslike air.
"In seven years," the clone began in a professional tone, "when your economy has recovered, over the following three years the Land of Waves will be required to repay me a debt of forty‑five million ryo. For a country of this size, with competent governance, that's not an overly burdensome sum."
The clone paused, letting them process the terms.
"However, if you can't manage it…" my voice went quiet again as I looked the daimyo right in the eye, "or if you start milking the citizens to get rid of the debt faster… then the Land of Waves will have to ask the Land of Fire for help hiring competent officials and managers. I don't need to explain what I mean by that, do I?"
The daimyo and his advisors quickly, fearfully shook their heads.
"Excellent," I nodded. "And one last thing. You're not to spread it around that it was Konoha shinobi who saved you. I know you won't keep it completely secret. But you'll at least try. And now you know where to turn if something like this happens again."
I turned, making it clear I was leaving, and vanished in a flash of Hiraishin. The clone in the suit stayed behind to take care of all the paperwork. My terms had been stated, which meant they'd been accepted. The Land of Waves was free. Well, in a way. And now it was also a little bit… mine. Heh.
The clone, of course, would hash out a lot of details. To make sure, for example, that Tazuna didn't get "accidentally" executed. He'd explain that the debt would be paid specifically to me, because, in practice, I was the one who wiped out Gato's organization. He'd tell them how I'd be sending inspections of their officials' work—cheap C‑rank missions that would let me keep my finger on the pulse of the Land of Waves using Konoha specialists. And of course, he'd go over a whole bunch of other stuff.
All in all, it worked out pretty conveniently. Gato had a lot of different property worth serious money. But in terms of actual cash, numbers on paper, or other securities, he didn't have that much, relatively speaking. Liquidating Gato's business would've been a bit of a hassle and taken a long time. This way, I just did this little country a royal favor, and later they'll pay me even more than I could've squeezed out of it in the near future.
For now I'm done with the Land of Waves, and while my teammates are laid up, I can, for example, drop by and relax with Hinata. I've got a lot of work ahead of me—I've got a ton of new material, and I need to process it. But before that, it'd be great to rest up and recharge. That's what I'll do—tomorrow. Right now, I need to take my revenge...
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