Harry's and Ron's faces stretched with disbelief. Ron's jaw dropped, and he could not tear his eyes away from Draco and the owl. Harry, unable to believe what he was seeing, removed his glasses and wiped them.
"Richie," Ron said quietly, "you were right... That's one unbelievably weird magical reaction..."
"Well, that's the end of it," Harry said sadly, meaning the Philosopher's Stone.
Draco was utterly dumbfounded. He stood motionless, resembling a statue of a thoroughly shocked young wizard that had become the favourite target of an entire flock of pigeons.
"Lads," Richard said, "we need to heal that owl immediately before it drops dead! Have either of you got any potions?"
Ron reacted instantly and began rummaging through his bag.
"I've got a few healing potions," he replied. "They're in here somewhere. One second."
With the triumphant expression of a treasure hunter discovering buried gold, Weasley produced several potion vials.
"Harry, hand me the owl. We're treating it."
Potter dashed towards Malfoy and removed the barely conscious bird from his rigid hands.
As Ron began pouring one potion after another down the owl's throat, Draco finally snapped out of his stupor and tried to brush the frozen droppings from his robes with visible disgust.
"Oi!" he exclaimed in a quiet voice full of exhausted outrage as he looked at Harry and Ron. "Haven't you done enough to it already? Have you decided to finish my owl off?"
"On the contrary, we're trying to heal it," Harry replied.
The magical potions were genuinely helping. It was obvious from the way the owl began twitching its legs and wings.
Harry started peeling away the tape, though he accidentally tore out a number of feathers in the process. The owl was too exhausted even to cry out; it could only wheeze in pain. Fortunately, the healing potions caused fresh feathers to grow back almost immediately, and after all the abuse it had endured, the bird's condition rapidly improved until it looked almost as healthy as it had at the beginning.
"Ron, where did you get so many healing potions?" Richard asked.
"That's entirely because of the twins," Weasley replied. "You never know what horrible thing they'll spring on you next, so I decided to be prepared. Some of them I traded for Chocolate Frog cards from older students, and some I siphoned off from cauldrons during Potions lessons."
The moment Harry and Ron placed the owl on the floor, Draco abruptly stopped pretending to be a statue. He lunged forwards, scooped up his bird, and shot out of the classroom like a cannonball. The boys could hear the fading thunder of Malfoy's footsteps racing down the corridor.
"Well, that's it. We're doomed," Ron declared wearily. "That snitch is going straight to Snape..."
"We'll say it was a joke," Richard replied with complete composure, pleased that he had both dealt with the fake Philosopher's Stone and kept the owl alive.
"A joke?" Weasley exclaimed indignantly. "Do you honestly think anyone's going to believe that?!"
"Of course they will," Richard replied. "Or at least they'll pretend to. In a year at Hogwarts I've seen so much bullying and so many questionable pranks. And that's not even mentioning the older students' Transfiguration lessons, where they destroy mice by the dozen or turn them into all sorts of bizarre things. Compared to that, our little 'joke' isn't particularly unusual by the standards of young witches and wizards. At worst, we'll get detention until the holidays begin."
Ronald thought about that for a moment. Then visible relief spread across his face.
"Oh. Actually, you're right," he exhaled. "Fred and George have pulled off plenty of pranks just as bad over the years, and all they ever got was detention. Mum's going to be furious, though," he added gloomily.
"It's a shame the Stone was destroyed," Potter said sadly. "Still, at least Dumbledore won't get his hands on it now! Let's just hope we don't get expelled. A few detentions we can survive."
"So, we're agreed," Richard said. "Now we just need to get our story straight. Memorise this: after the History of Magic exam, we were quietly relaxing outside. Malfoy and his mates approached us and picked a fight with us, hurling one insult after another. A fight broke out. We were annoyed with Malfoy and decided to play a prank on him.
"We brewed a joke potion and fed it to his owl. The prank worked—the owl chose the perfect moment to dump all over Malfoy, and he got entirely the wrong idea about what we were doing.
"We're not animal abusers, we never intended to harm the owl, and we planned everything in advance. We even prepared healing potions beforehand so that if anything happened to the bird, we could help it. Understood?"
"Yes," Harry replied.
"Easy," Ron agreed with a nod.
"Ron..." Harry drawled, looking at his friend with a smirk.
"What?" Ron asked warily.
"Brilliant idea, bringing Malfoy's owl along for the job!" Potter's voice dripped with so much irony and sarcasm that even a complete idiot would have realised he meant the exact opposite.
"Harry, sod off," Ron replied wearily. "I've already worked out for myself that it wasn't my finest idea."
"It's all right, lads," Richard said in a soothing tone. "The important thing is that we're alive and well. Everything else is trivial. To hell with adventures like these! We'd better hurry to dinner. I'm afraid that once the Headmaster gets back, none of us will be able to swallow a bite. I guarantee he'll summon us for a thorough dressing-down. Thank Merlin corporal punishment was banned at Hogwarts!"
"Too right..." Ron absent-mindedly rubbed the area just below his lower back with his right hand. "If only someone could ban Mum from telling me off as well..." Catching Potter's amused look, he immediately bristled and added more loudly, "Yes, telling me off! Not what you're thinking!"
"Yes, yes," Potter replied with exaggerated cheerfulness. "I believe you... Of course you mean telling you off..."
Richard's hand came to rest on Weasley's shoulder. Grosvenor's eyes were full of understanding and sympathy.
"Ron, I know exactly how you feel," he said. "I'll be told off when I get home as well... So thoroughly that I probably won't be able to sit down properly for three days. But that's the price of adventurism, so you'll just have to accept it."
(End of Chapter)
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