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Chapter 21 - Chapter 20: The Guilt of Kingsguard

293 AC – The Red Keep – The Throne Room

A week had passed since the ship left Dragonstone.

Lyonel walked the long corridor to the throne room with steady steps. The Iron Throne loomed ahead a mountain of twisted swords under the high vaulted ceiling.

The moment Lyonel entered, he heard his father's booming voice.

"Lyonel!" The king's voice echoed off the stone walls. "I heard you wanted to see me. What's on your mind my son?"

Lyonel stopped at the foot of the dais and looked up at his father.

"I did, Father. Yes, I need to speak with you."

He took a breath.

"Father… I wish to be sent to the North. To ward for Lord Stark."

Robert froze, taken off guard by the request. For a moment, silence hummed in the hall. Then, laughter burst from the king.

"That's my boy!" he roared, slapping the arm of the throne. "That's a great idea! Ned's eldest is your age. I know you'll have amazing time there. Hah!"

He turned his head toward the small council table where Jon Arryn sat quietly.

"Jon! What do you think of my son's decision?"

Jon Arryn smiled approvingly.

"I also think it's a great idea, Your Grace. A valuable opportunity for Prince Lyonel."

Without hesitation, Robert leapt from the throne and strode down the steps.

"Come, Jon, let's write to Ned and have Maester Pycelle send a raven to Winterfe..."

Before he could finish, Cersei's voice rang out, shrill with fury. "No! I won't allow this! My son will not be sent to those..." She twisted her mouth in disgust "... savages!"

Robert turned slowly. His face darkened with rage.

"Do not call them savages," he said, voice dangerously low. "They are more civilized than some southerners I could name."

His gaze hardened as he stared her down.

"Lyonel will be going and that's the end of it."

He jerked his head toward Jon Arryn.

"Let's go, Jon. We need to write that letter."

They strode out of the hall together leaving Cersei seething.

The doors slammed shut behind them.

As soon as they were gone, Cersei rushed to Lyonel, eyes blazing.

"What were you thinking?!" she demanded her voice started to rise. "Why would you even want to go to that… that primitive place?!"

Lyonel sighed, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Calm down, Mother, it's not good for your health."

He had meant it to lighten the mood, to ease the tension.

It had the opposite effect.

Cersei's eyes flashed. She shrugged his hand off.

"Don't patronize me," she snapped. "Explain yourself."

Lyonel shook his head and with a steady voice he began explaining.

"Mother… my reasoning is really simple. Like Father already said Robb Stark is of similar age to me. I'll have a chance to form a close friendship with someone and the fact that he's the son of Father's best friend is even better."

Cersei looked stunned.

"Why would you want to make friends that far from here? It's pointless, son. Besides you're their future king..."

Lyonel interrupted her gently but firmly.

"A lonely king will never become a good ruler. We've had a few examples already."

He met her eyes.

"I need to have people around me who are capable. And whom I can trust with my back."

Cersei opened her mouth then closed it.

Lyonel gave her shoulder one last gentle squeeze, then turned and walked out of the throne room.

Cersei stood alone beneath the Iron Throne.

She watched her son's disappearing figure, fists clenched at her sides.

Why that stupid North of all places?

Her thoughts turned angry, bitter.

He is the future king. He doesn't need friends. He needs dogs who will do their job… and die for him.

She stared after him, expression twisting with something close to disappointment.

Just why, son…

A Few Days Later – Lyonel's Chambers

Jaime entered quietly, closing the door behind him.

"You called for me, my prince."

Lyonel turned from the window and smiled when he saw him.

"Yes. Please sit down, Uncle."

He poured a glass of wine and slid it across the table.

"Since you're not on duty now, you can drink it if you want and I think you'll need it."

Jaime looked confused, but took the glass. Then he saw Lyonel's serious expression.

"The Lord Commander is on his way," Lyonel said. "I summoned him too."

Jaime's breath caught. Panic flickered in his green eyes.

"Maybe we should reschedule it for the morrow, nephew? I don't think today is a good day for this."

Lyonel's gaze never wavered.

"No, Uncle. It's happening today. No more delaying."

A knock sounded at the door.

Jaime's hand tightened on the goblet.

Lyonel called out calmly.

"Enter!"

Ser Barristan Selmy stepped inside.

"I heard you called for me, Your Grace."

His eyes flicked to Jaime sitting there. One brow rose in confusion.

Lyonel nodded.

"That's correct, Lord Commander. I did call for you but it won't be me you'll be speaking with."

Barristan looked even more puzzled.

"What do you mean by that, Your Grace?"

Lyonel glanced between the two white-cloaked knights.

"You see… Ser Jaime has something very important to tell you. But he would never reveal it if I didn't force this meeting."

He walked toward the door.

"I'll leave the two of you alone. It's not my place to meddle in."

At the threshold he paused, glancing back at Jaime with a small smirk.

"And Ser Jaime… remember do not miss any detail."

Jaime drained the entire glass of wine in one long swallow and sighed.

The door closed behind Lyonel.

Barristan looked at Jaime.

"So… what did the prince mean when he said there's something you want to tell me?"

Jaime stared at him for a long moment. Then he ran a hand through his golden hair.

"Would you like a glass, Lord Commander? We're currently not on duty… and we never got a chance to drink together."

Barristan sensed the odd tension in Jaime's posture. After a moment he nodded calmly.

"Sure. One glass won't hurt."

Jaime poured for both of them. He relaxed back into his chair though the tension never fully left his shoulders.

"I never wanted to share this with anyone," Jaime began quietly. "But somehow the prince got it out of me before I could register what I was saying…"

He looked Barristan in the eye.

"Lord Commander… I know you do not trust me. I know you think I bring dishonor to this cloak. And I agree with you. But Prince Lyonel gave me a chance a new start, a possibility to redeem myself for what I've done."

Barristan listened, slowly sipping his wine.

"What you said is correct," he replied evenly. "I do not trust you. And I do think you bring dishonor to the white cloak. You betrayed your brothers. You betrayed your king by stabbing him in the back, because it was convenient for you to do so."

Jaime drained his glass in one gulp and poured himself another.

"You're right. I did those things."

He sighed heavily, thinking to himself: See, Lyonel? I knew he would not believe me.

Then he continued.

"But what exactly was convenient for me, Ser Barristan? Hm? Please enlighten me."

His voice stayed level, but the pain beneath it was raw.

"Was it convenient when I joined the most elite knights in the realm at the age of fifteen only to find out it was not the dream I always thought it was? Instead of protecting a king… we were protecting a madman who saw enemies and traitors everywhere. Who did horrifying things to his wife."

Barristan's face remained impassive, but his fingers tightened on the goblet.

Jaime continued.

"You and Ser Arthur Dayne were my heroes. The knights I admired. But tell me, Lord Commander… why did none of you stopped him? Even Lord Commander Gerold didn't try. All of you just listened and pretended you didn't hear anything."

Barristan's face lost all color.

"He was our king," he said, voice tight. "We were supposed to protect him and obey his orders."

Jaime's voice rose just slightly.

"So it's okay to be ignorant to the things happening around you then? Yes I know all the oaths I took. But protecting him does not mean we should not protect the king from himself. Especially the madman who burned people for fun!"

He drank another glass and poured his fifth.

"Tell me, Ser Barristan did you enjoy watching him burn all those innocent people?"

Barristan poured himself a second glass with a trembling hand. His voice came out laced with venom.

"It's easy for you to say, Kingslayer."

Jaime blinked.

Then he started laughing—a dry, humorless sound.

"Wow…"

He looked at Barristan with a serious, almost wounded expression.

Barristan clicked his tongue, regretting the word instantly.

Jaime continued, quieter now.

"Right so you think it was convenient for me to kill the king when King's Landing was being stormed by my father huh? You think it was convenient for me when people started to call me Kingslayer?."

Jaime sighed deeply

"Now that it's come to this… let me tell you what the Mad King really wanted to do when he knew he lost."

He drank slowly.

"When my father arrived promising to defend the city against the rebels I knew he'd never been one to pick the losing side. I told the Mad King as much. Urged him to surrender peacefully. The king didn't listen. He told me to bring him my father's head."

Jaime's voice dropped.

"Then he turned to his pyromancer. 'Burn them all,' he said. 'Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds.'"

He paused.

"First I killed the pyromancer. And then when the king turned to flee I drove my sword into his back. 'Burn them all,' he kept saying. 'Burn them all.' I don't think he expected to die. He meant to burn with the rest of us and rise again reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash."

Jaime looked Barristan in the eye.

"I slit his throat to make sure that didn't happen."

Barristan's eyes went wide hearing Jaime saying the truth of that day he trembled as the thought started rising in him If Ser Jaime did nothing that day all of the King's Landing would became ashes..

The Lord Commander stared at Jaime as though seeing him for the first time.

"Ser Jaime…" Barristan's voice was hoarse. "I'm sorry truly I am. For everything. And most of all for thinking you bring dishonor to this cloak."

He swallowed.

"You do not. In fact… after what you've said… I think you deserve it the most."

Jaime stared at him in complete disbelief.

"Thank you, Lord Commander," he said quietly. "Your words mean a lot to me."

Barristan nodded.

In his head he was thinking: This man kept a secret so big even after people called him Kingslayer and no one knows he's in fact a hero. I don't know if I could have done what he did that day.

He looked at Jaime again.

Ser Jaime… I promise that one day people will know the truth. And you will be known as the man who saved King's Landing.

The conversation settled. They shared another glass of wine in silence.

Then the doors opened.

Lyonel stepped in with a calm smile.

"I take it everything was said already."

Both Jaime and Barristan replied at the same time:

"It was, my prince."

Lyonel nodded.

"Good."

He looked at Barristan.

Good. Lord Commander, I agree with Ser Jaime a Kingsguard's duty is to protect the king, even from himself. If I ever lose my senses, do what must be done."

They nodded solemnly.

Lyonel sat down with them.

"Now let's talk about other things. Since Ser Barristan now knows Ser Jaime's secret… what I want from you is to work together and start looking for actually skilled knights that would make good Kingsguard."

Barristan raised an eyebrow.

"Looking for knights, my prince? But we are not missing any members right now."

Lyonel smiled.

"You're correct, Ser Barristan. But you probably admit it yourself they are not really skilled enough to be in the Kingsguard."

Barristan didn't speak, but his facial expression betrayed his thoughts.

"It was mostly political scheming," Lyonel continued. "And I do not blame my father for that he had to establish his reign with alliances. But I seek to restore the glory of the Kingsguard."

He looked between Jaime and Barristan.

"For that I will need you, Sers, to help me reestablish the Kingsguard to its former glory. I want to know the names of all the skilled knights who have made names for themselves and if you have someone you wish to recommend please do so."

He added with a smile:

"Right now you both are the only members of the new Kingsguard. And I was thinking of Ser Arys and if that stubborn man will finally agree to be knighted… I want to have Sandor Clegane too. What are your thoughts?"

They exchanged glances.

Barristan spoke first.

"I think Ser Arys can be a good choice… but he needs a bit more polishing. We could help him with that."

Lyonel nodded.

Jaime spoke next.

"As for Sandor Clegane… I think he's a good choice. If as you said, nephew he will agree to become knighted."

Lyonel nodded again.

"I was thinking of taking those two with me to Winterfell. Maybe that time will help me convince Sandor… and make good connections with both of them."

Barristan replied thoughtfully:

"It is a wise decision. Though… may I ask why you are not considering taking at least one of us with you, my prince?"

Lyonel replied:

"I doubt my father would like to have his best knights taken away so easily. But do not worry you will be joining me after my wardship is done."

Jaime asked:

"What do you mean, nephew?"

Lyonel smiled.

"I do not plan to return to King's Landing when my wardship is done. I need to go to Essos. And you're both coming with me. So await my letter with instruction on where we shall meet, Lord Commander. I will send a raven to your chamber but before that I will send one to my father so he will agree on you going with me."

One Week Later – Winterfell

Maester Luwin untied the raven's message and hurried to the Lord's solar.

He knocked, and Ned Stark's voice called, "Enter!"

Ned Stark looked up from his desk.

"My Lord raven arrived from King's Landing."

Ned raised his head.

"From King's Landing?"

Luwin handed him the parchment.

Ned broke the seal and read.

He reread it twice.

Then he sighed deeply.

"It's from the king," he said quietly. "Apparently the Crown Prince wishes to ward here."

Luwin looked curious.

"Will you be sending a reply, my Lord?"

Ned nodded.

"Aye. I should. And I think it's not the worst thing either. Robb and Prince Lyonel are of similar age as is Jon, of course."

He looked out the window toward the godswood.

"Maester send a raven to King's Landing. Inform the king that I accept… and will happily welcome his son as my ward."

Luwin nodded and turned to leave.

"Yes, my lord. At once."

Ned sat back in his chair deep in thought then slowly stood up and went to infrom his wife about this.

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