What is this? My expression cooled.
I miss the bed in my room. I was watching the situation with eyes full of regret and approached the still despondent 8th Corps Commander to quickly resolve the situation and return to my room.
"I know you lack faith in yourself, but that doesn't mean you won't go to war. Just get up."
"But..."
"And you'll be good enough, so it's no use worrying about that."
Hell, who had been crouching, slowly raised his head. A three-dimensional black shadow whose mouth was not even visible spoke hesitantly.
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
I placed a hand on his shoulder. Red eyes shone earnestly.
"If you don't trust yourself, trust me. I think you'll do well."
"...!"
Hell's body stiffened for an instant.
He froze to the point where I was worried that he might have turned into a stone statue, but then his body began to tremble. A crying voice came out.
"I understand... I understand...! I will never... disappoint you!"
... I'm impressed.
I can't breathe for no reason when I see his motivation rising. I rummaged in my arms, took out a cigarette, bit it, and gently closed my tired eyes.
Even with my eyes closed, I can clearly feel the blood that has engulfed my ankles and risen to the top of my ankles. I heard someone whispering in my ear.
─Hypocrite.
"..."
I didn't show it.
I brushed aside the whispering voice calling me a hypocrite and trash and raised the corners of my mouth and calmly answered.
"... Alright."
The eyelids rose and the dull red eyes took in Hell. Once again, I felt fortunate that Hell is from the shadows.
Because the shadow seemed to have a three-dimensional appearance, I was able to avoid meeting his eyes.
Shadows have no eyes. If Hell had eyes, I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.
I unconsciously stretched out my hand.
"... Deon...?"
A hand hovered around the area where the eye would be.
Hearing the confused voice, I curled my fingers and gently clenched my fists. I can imagine the look in his eyes even without seeing it in person.
Clear, pure, and motivated... These would be what are commonly called extremely 'humane' eyes. What would it have been like if I had encountered these in person? I easily expected that I would not have been able to hold out.
How can you resist the look in his eyes when the breathtaking innocence is so powerful just by his actions and tone of voice?
"Hell."
"Yes, Deon."
Instead of opening my mouth right away, I smiled faintly at him.
... Except for appearance, what is the difference between demons and humans? Demons are not 'absolute evil' as they are known. Watched closely, they appear to be more pure than humans in some ways.
As my consciousness flowed to that point, for a moment... I had that thought.
'It would be better if you were really 'evil'.'
There would have been nothing to get caught up in carrying out the plan, and I would have had less to feel the weight of my sin.
It felt like a black stone that had been staying in a world of white stones rolled into a world of black stones, but it turned out to be a world of gray stones. The feeling of realizing that there is no stone blacker than me and realizing how black I am.
'... Is it because of the medicine? I feel like it's all kind of crap.'
I myself don't know what I'm thinking.
Even if he was truly evil, the situation would not be any different. It's like carrying out a plan, but the weight of sin must have been pondered over and over again so as not to forget it. I was probably more tired than he was now.
At that point, I stopped thinking and roughly put out my cigarette, and looked at the extremely human-looking demon in front of me. Advice that wasn't advice flowed out slowly.
"... There was a report that the advance team that went first had trouble because of a trap. Just in case, you should be careful too."
"Ah...! Yes, I understand!"
─Hypocrite.
A voice spoke and a bloody smell stung my nose. I took out a new cigarette and smiled as if responding to the voice.
'I know.'
***
When Deon Hardt was seeing off the 8th Corps commander, Ed, who would normally be by Deon's side and assisting him, was walking in the garden.
Hien, who had been watching him from afar, tilted his head.
To others, he may have seemed like normal, but Hien, who had lived his life paying attention to what others thought more than anyone else, could tell. He was depressed.
'What's going on...?'
He knew that he hated him, so he knew that he should be careful to avoid him, but... seeing him like this for the first time made him lose his footing.
Maybe that's why Hien's constant snooping around was annoying.
'Oh, he's picking something up.'
Ed bent down and picked up a rock from the floor and swung his arm toward where he was.
Swoosh! Something passed next to Hien's head with a swishing sound. At the same time, he could hear the sound of a small plant dying.
"..."
"Get out."
A voice that sounded like an animal growling, completely at odds with his usual neat demeanor.
It feels like a wounded animal sharpening its claws to hide its weakness. Hien stopped and raised his head, and only when he met eyes glaring at him did he come to his senses and slowly walk away.
It was then that he heard a sly voice.
"You have a bad temper."
Ben, holding a visiting bag in one hand, leisurely waved his other hand and stepped in between Hien and Ed.
Ed's face distorted as if he was displeased with his actions, and Hien, who suddenly escaped Ed's sight, looked confused for a moment and then quickly walked away.
Ed, who was quietly watching the figure quickly moving away, turned his head towards Ben and showed his irritation without hesitation.
"You too, get out of the way quickly."
"It's scary. Deon should know this temperament of yours."
It was a lightly spoken word, but the response it received was fierce.
"... Shut your mouth."
Even so, it was the worst remark for someone who has been sensitive to issues related to Deon Hardt.
The surrounding air sunk coldly. There was venom in his voice.
However, Ben, a berserker and doctor who had a war of nerves with Corps Commanders, calmly took his place on one side. He casually accepted the offer and patted the seat next to him as if telling him to sit down.
"Don't be so harsh on me, let's have a drink with the free demons."
"What if you don't have alcohol..."
"Hmm?"
"..."
Ed closed his mouth when he saw a bottle of alcohol sticking out of the visitation bag.
The words "Why did that come out of there," were on the tip of his tongue, but he held them back and turned his head to express his refusal to talk.
"... You quack."
"What?!"
In the end, he couldn't hold it in and ended up spitting out one word.
Ben went on a rampage, asking why he was a quack. Ed seemed to feel better after looking at him, so he looked at him quietly and added a few words.
"You told me that there was a bottle of alcohol in the sacred visiting bag. It seems that the attending doctor is treating patients with alcohol these days."
"... Damn you."
Ben looked at Ed and the bottle in his hand as if he seriously wanted to hit that head, then sighed and took the bottle.
Ed opened his eyes wide, seeing him in a calmer manner than expected, and fixed his head straight ahead for a moment before opening his mouth after a short silence. A slightly subdued voice spread throughout the empty garden.
"'Idle demons'... Looks like you've become more leisurely, too. Deon has definitely become a hero, so it's only natural."
"Yes, you are almost unemployed."
It was a remark that was more like a spark and could easily be taken as an argument, but Ben's reaction was unusually gentle.
Ed closed his mouth for a moment and then slowly asked a question.
"Aren't you sad?"
"Well, as a doctor, I'm actually happy. It's proof that Deon is healthy."
The problem was mental, though.
With a low muttering, he took out two glasses from his visitation bag and poured them some drinks. As he looked at that, the word 'quack' lingered in his mouth again, but this time Ed managed to suppress it.
They took the glass and sipped it together. The long, if short, silence that had flowed between them for a while was suddenly broken when Ben opened his mouth.
"What if?"
"..."
What if the Demon King and Deon come into conflict. Whose side will you take?"
"... That's an improper question."
"I said if."
"It's not worth answering."
Ed jerked his head and lifted the glass to his lips. Ben, who was quietly watching the scene, blurted out.
"You are avoiding the answer."
"..."
"Can I take this to mean that you can't choose either side?"
"... I am loyal to both of them. I cannot choose either one. In any case, being loyal to Deon is also being loyal to the Demon King, so there is no problem."
"So, isn't that why I made assumptions based on the premise of 'what if'? You're indecisive."
Ed was about to ask who would he choose in a fit of anger, but shut his mouth in shock as a thought crossed his mind.
"That question of yours..."
The atmosphere became heavy.
Ben was noticeably silent, and Ed closed his eyes tightly.
... When he thought about why Deon suddenly distanced himself, there was a question that remained unresolved. He was wondering if the current situation was really enough to warrant distancing him from himself.
What if... really, what if.
'What if there's really something else I don't know about?'
The puzzle fit together as if the missing clue was found.
... No, no, no. Speculation should be refrained. Ed, who consciously stopped thinking just before coming to a conclusion, continued speaking with difficulty.
"Does this mean that Deon is considering treason?"
So... was he staying away from him?
In order to restore the relationship, Ed was waiting for the war with the human world to end quickly, but Deon's attitude may not return to its original state even after the war is over.
He was trying to act calm, but his fingertips were shaking slightly.
What should he do if this speculation is really true? A call was made to the worst assumption that naturally came to mind.
"Answer me."
"... I assumed the worst."
Ben, who was quietly looking at him, smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
"It doesn't necessarily have to be treason. Wouldn't small disagreements also fall within the scope of confrontation?"
"... Are you serious?"
"Yes."
Their eyes met in the air.
Ed looked into his eyes for a long time and finally sighed. A weak voice asked, as if all its energy had been drained.
"Then whose side are you going to take?"
"Well."
"Huh, you pushed me like that, and in the end, you too...!"
"I'm his doctor."
A short word stopped Ed from continuing his speech.
Ben smiled at him, who was quietly looking at him with his mouth closed.
"For the attending physician, the patients come first."
He once made a fatal mistake.
He dared to suggest alcohol to a patient. Deon's remarks at the time were so shocking that he still remembered them. He could never forget it.
'Think carefully about whose doctor you are. Well... I didn't even expect much to begin with.'
It was an incident that lost trust as a doctor, so how could he forget it?
He didn't care that Deon was putting pressure on his chest with his arm at the time. It was okay to hold a dagger to his throat and threaten his life.
However, his identity as a doctor was shaken and his trust was lost. His heart sank at the remark criticizing that.
After that, he promised myself several times that he would never make the same mistake again.
Even though the Demon King was the master of all demons and the one who sent him to Deon, in the end, his patient was Deon, not the Demon King.
Because an attending physician only cares for the patient.
"... That seems like a bit of a dangerous statement."
"The only thing a doctor can do is for the sake of his patients, so what's the risk?"
"..."
Ben just smiled, engraving his promise in a corner of his heart.