Chapter 56: Sheldon and Milo
David was curious about where the 'dog barking' he'd vaguely heard in his sleep that morning had come from.
Leonard, stifling a laugh, explained, "It was Sheldon 'barking'."
"What?" David thought he'd misheard.
"Sheldon Cooper, our theoretical physicist roommate, was imitating dog barks downstairs," Leonard continued, his tone like someone recounting an absurd story. "Maybe you were sleeping too soundly to hear clearly, but he didn't just bark a few times—he barked continuously. I was woken up by it at 7:30 and had no choice but to get out of bed."
David froze for a few seconds. "Why was Sheldon imitating a dog?"
Leonard's expression was a mix of amusement and bewilderment. "He thinks Milo is too quiet. The puppy only whines when he's hungry, but he doesn't make a normal 'woof woof' sound. So now you understand why Sheldon was imitating a dog—it's his way of teaching Milo."
David found it hard to believe. "I thought Sheldon had extreme demands for 'order.' There's no way he'd tolerate unpredictable noise like dog barking, let alone actively try to teach Milo to bark. Did I somehow wake up in a parallel universe where Sheldon had a personality transplant?"
"You think you're the only one who thought that?" Leonard said with a wry smile. "I already asked Sheldon the same question this morning. Guess what he said?"
"What?"
Leonard cleared his throat and mimicked Sheldon's voice, raising his pitch an octave: "'Leonard, based on the rapidly developing rapport between Milo and myself, Milo not barking normally represents an even greater deviation from 'order.' To correct this anomaly, I am willing to tolerate the potential acoustic disturbance to our living environment once Milo learns proper vocalization. It is a necessary cost.'"
David listened, dumbfounded.
"So, how were Sheldon's training results?" he asked.
Leonard finally couldn't help but laugh. "Zero progress. Sheldon spent almost an hour trying everything from standard barks to various tonal variations, but Milo was completely indifferent to his 'instruction.' The little guy just sat on the floor, tilting his head, looking at him with what I can only describe as confusion—if dogs can look confused. Sheldon had no choice but to pivot; now he's training Milo to fetch."
He shook his head, sighing. "It's always Sheldon who drives everyone else crazy with his stubbornness and logic. This is the first time I've seen the tables turned—him being completely baffled by a puppy."
David also laughed. "No way, I have to go down and see this after I get ready. One Sheldon is enough for us—we can't let him train a 'Sheldon among dogs.'"
"Then I'll head downstairs and order takeout first," Leonard said. "I'm planning to get Thai food. Want in?"
"Absolutely," David agreed.
Leonard went downstairs first. David quickly washed up, changed clothes, and also headed down to the fourth floor. Before he even entered Apartment 4A, he heard Sheldon's voice from inside, with a rare, almost pleading tone:
"Milo, look here. Ball. The ball is on the floor. Go get it. This is a retrieval task, the most basic canine obedience exercise..."
David pushed the door open, and the sight before him made him grin.
In the center of the living room, Sheldon was squatting on the floor, holding a blue chew toy. Milo sat two meters away, tail gently wagging, but his eyes were looking elsewhere, completely ignoring Sheldon and the ball.
"Sheldon, observe," Sheldon rolled the ball towards Milo, "the ball is in motion. Moving objects should trigger your chase instinct. It's encoded in your DNA..."
The ball rolled to Milo's feet and stopped. Milo lowered his head, sniffed the ball, then—yawned and lay down.
Sheldon's expression instantly fell. He stood up, walked over to retrieve the ball, returned to his original spot, and squatted down again.
"Let's try again. This time I'll increase the trajectory arc, simulating fleeing prey..."
He gently tossed the ball, and it landed in front of Milo. Milo didn't even lift an eyelid.
"Leonard," David said to Leonard, who was standing at the kitchen entrance, "this isn't Sheldon training Milo—it's Milo training Sheldon. Training his patience, or rather, systematically destroying it."
Leonard covered his mouth, his shoulders shaking, clearly trying hard to suppress his laughter.
Their conversation caught Sheldon's attention. He turned his head, his face showing an expression of frustration David had never seen before.
"David, your timing is fortuitous." Sheldon stood up and said in an extremely serious tone, "I think we need to consider a possibility: Milo is not a normal canine specimen. His behavioral patterns completely deviate from any known canine ethology model. He doesn't bark, doesn't chase moving objects, and shows no response to reward mechanisms other than food. I'm even beginning to question if he has full auditory function."
He walked up to David and said solemnly, "I suggest taking him to a more specialized veterinarian for a comprehensive neurological workup. This might not be a training issue, but some kind of... neurodevelopmental abnormality."
Just then, Milo stood up, stretched, and then trotted to David's feet, rubbing his head against his pant leg.
David squatted down and petted Milo's head. Milo immediately let out a contented sound, wagging his tail more vigorously.
"Maybe he just has a strong personality," David said with a smile, taking the blue ball from Sheldon's hand. "Let me try."
He called out "Milo," and the puppy immediately looked up at him. David pointed to the ball, then gently threw it to the far corner of the living room.
"Milo, go get the ball."
Milo looked at the ball across the room, then at David, seeming to hesitate. David gestured encouragingly, pointing again in the direction of the ball.
Then—something that surprised everyone happened.
Milo trotted over, picked up the ball with his mouth, trotted back, placed the ball at David's feet, and then sat down, looking up at him as if waiting for the next command.
Silence fell over the living room.
Leonard was the first to react. "Holy crap! David, he listens to you! He completely ignored Sheldon just now, but he went as soon as you gave the command!"
Sheldon's expression shifted from shock to confusion, then from confusion to sudden realization: "I understand! This isn't a neurodevelopmental deficit—it's selective obedience! He selectively responds to commands based on evaluative criteria we don't yet fully comprehend!"
David was also surprised. He picked up the ball and tried again, throwing it a bit farther this time. Milo again ran to fetch it.
"Looks like Milo isn't stupid at all," Leonard quipped, glancing at Sheldon. "In fact, he's smarter than most dogs. Because he has clear preferences—he likes David, who rescued him from the road and saved his life, and he doesn't like Sheldon, who refused to let him in the apartment two nights ago."
Sheldon, hearing this, didn't get discouraged or defensive as David expected. Instead, an excited expression appeared on his face.
"Exactly!" Sheldon said enthusiastically. "That's excellent! I thought he had cognitive deficits! As long as he's not mentally deficient, then this canine is trainable!"
He took the ball from David's hand, squatted in front of Milo, and said in a tone gentler than ever before: "Milo, look at me. I am Sheldon. I will continue to work with you until you accept me and respond to my commands. From today forward, you are one of my 'research projects'—codename: 'Investigation into the Formation Mechanisms of Canine Social Bonding Behavior.'"
David and Leonard exchanged glances, both seeing the same thought in each other's eyes: Sheldon was serious. A serious Sheldon was usually both terrifying and endearing.
Just then, the doorbell rang. The takeout had arrived.
After lunch, Leonard and David drove to Caltech. Leonard went directly to the lab to continue analyzing data, while David, as agreed, headed towards the Athenaeum Café near the Physics building.
When he pushed the door open, Sarah was already sitting by the window. A nearly untouched cup of coffee sat in front of her, and she was holding a stack of documents, studying them intently.
"Sarah." David sat down across from her.
Author's Note
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