For 30 + advance chapter: patreon.com/Snowing_Melody
Squelch squelch, moo moo, hehehe, baa~
Strange, highly suspicious sounds continuously came from the dark, hay-filled livestock shed in the dead of night. Anyone walking by who absolutely didn't know better would logically think a terrifying nest of Florida degenerates was aggressively hiding inside doing something unmentionable, but in reality, it was just a chaotic, excited group of powerful "old children" with an average age well into the four digits who desperately wanted some fresh, free milk for dessert.
"Alright, mission accomplished! Retreat, retreat!"
A massive group of people tightly holding glowing purple iridium buckets completely filled to the brim with warm, fresh milk quickly ran across the muddy grass back to the farmhouse.
Only after violently slamming and locking the heavy main door behind them did absolutely everyone let out a massive, synchronized sigh of relief, leaning against the walls. It was so incredibly thrilling! It felt exactly like secretly, maliciously ruining the Little Fairies' most precious, beloved treasure directly behind their backs, giving the ancient Youkai an inexplicable, childish sense of pure exhilaration and adrenaline.
"Flandre, step up. You're up. Contribute exactly one of your white stockings to the cause."
Leo had previously gone to a local dairy farm back on Earth for fresh milk as a kid. There was a rural village near his old apartment called Big Locust Tree, where the whole village raised massive dairy cows. You could usually just go directly there, get fresh, unpasteurized milk straight from the farmer, and bring it home to boil it yourself to drink, so he was extremely, professionally familiar with this specific, messy process.
The stocking was physically only needed to act as a fine, makeshift sieve to filter out the coarse animal hair, dirt, and grass debris inevitably mixed in the fresh milk from the bucket.
Really! It's just for filtering!
Leo's bachelor house currently absolutely didn't have any clean, sterile medical gauze or cheesecloth lying around, so they forcefully had to use a stocking as a makeshift filter tonight.
Among absolutely everyone currently living in the crowded house, Flandre's pristine stockings were of the absolute highest, most luxurious quality. The Scarlet Devil Mansion truly, undeniably lived up to its aristocratic reputation as Gensokyo's model taxpayer; they really were incredibly, filthy wealthy. Even Flandre's everyday, frilly white thigh-high stockings were custom-made of pure, expensive silk, making them the absolute most suitable and durable material for use as a fine liquid filter.
"Oh, Big Brother!" Flandre cheered, raising her hand. "Do you want one directly from my Main Body? Or from a dirty clone? One that's been sweatily worn all day but not washed, or this brand-new, unworn one from my pocket?!"
"Of course the unworn, clean one! What kind of sick, perverted person do you actually take me for?!"
With an exaggerated air of absolute righteous indignation, Leo snatched the clean, unworn silk stocking from Flandre's hand.
The eleven heavy buckets of raw milk were carefully filtered through the silk and poured smoothly into one massive, clean iron cooking pot. The next critical step was pasteurization and sterilization.
Freshly drawn, raw milk naturally contains many harmful bacteria. You can either slowly heat it to just over sixty degrees Celsius for a grueling half an hour to gently sterilize it, or simply, brutally bring it to a rolling boil on the stove for exactly about a minute. After boiling, the pure milk can be safely cooled and stored. They would meticulously put it into long plastic bags, one bag at a time, and freeze them solidly in the massive refrigerator. When they finally wanted to drink some, they could just easily take out a frozen bag and warm it up in a pot.
"One bowl for each person. Remember to absolutely let it physically cool down before drinking to avoid burning your tongue. Using ice magic to instantly cool it is strictly prohibited; it ruins the texture! Only the thick, creamy layer of milk skin that slowly, naturally forms on the surface after air-cooling is the absolute most fragrant and delicious part. When drinking, first delicately sip around the edges of the bowl to consume that entire layer of premium 'Essence' milk skin, then drink the actual milk underneath."
After the massive first pot was finally ready and cooled, Leo generously served absolutely everyone a large wooden bowl. A rich, incredibly sweet, buttery milky aroma wafted heavily from the steaming bowls, filling the living room. Sprinkled with just a little bit of refined sugar, the warm taste was simply, absolutely divine.
"Burp~ So incredibly good! Big Brother, I want another massive bowl!" Flandre slammed her empty bowl down.
"Absolutely no more tonight. From now on, to preserve stock, everyone gets exactly one bowl in the morning with breakfast and one in the evening before bed. Drinking too much rich dairy at once can easily cause violent diarrhea, and we only have two toilets!"
After exhausting himself successfully coaxing the little glutton Flandre back upstairs to her room to sleep, Leo and Ran stayed downstairs in the warm kitchen to meticulously boil the remaining massive buckets of fresh milk and carefully put it all in the refrigerator before finally going upstairs to sleep themselves.
With so many more chaotic people aggressively living in the house now, the extra, empty rooms from the previous expensive cottage expansion could finally be practically used to their full potential.
Leo and Ran stayed comfortably in the master bedroom on the first floor. Chen, Flandre, and Kogasa were aggressively banished to the massive, toy-filled nursery on the second floor. Yukari Yakumo aggressively claimed and stayed in the luxurious secondary bedroom directly next to the nursery. Yuyuko Saigyouji would simply make do sleeping on the soft sofa in the side bedroom for tonight; her permanent, massive accommodation would be formally arranged tomorrow.
A quiet night of unspoken words...
Cock-a-doodle-doo~~~!
Accompanied loudly by the rooster's dawn crow, a glowing, spatial passage appeared out of thin air in the farm's open space. Sakuya Izayoi, impeccably dressed in her crisp, spotless maid uniform, walked elegantly out from within. She had reliably come again to meticulously select today's fresh vegetables for the Mansion's kitchen.
But the incredibly bizarre scene before her immediately gave her pause.
On the long, polished wooden table outside the cottage, usually used for resting in the shade, was the incredibly expensive, exquisite porcelain tea set the Young Miss Flandre had previously gifted to Leo. A massive, chaotic group of people were sitting there elegantly in the morning sun, sophisticatedly holding delicate teacups... and happily savoring hot, fresh milk instead of tea. There were also plates of freshly steamed, sticky white rice cakes piled high on the table.
Originally, Leo had desperately wanted to logically pair the hot milk with crispy youtiao (fried dough sticks), but wheat is strictly a summer crop in the system, and therefore completely unavailable to harvest in spring. So, he had to disappointingly settle for steaming rice cakes. However, soft, chewy rice cakes made from pounded rice flour, when soaked directly in warm, sweetened milk, were also incredibly, surprisingly delicious.
This bizarre, chaotic East-meets-West breakfast scene left the sophisticated Sakuya utterly, completely bewildered.
"Sakuya, you're here early! Here, try a cup of the incredible milk we just got from the cows yesterday! Isn't this so much better and sweeter than any bitter black tea?!"
Flandre, with a highly visible, comical white ring of sticky milk residue completely around her mouth, saw Sakuya arrive and immediately, forcefully pulled the maid over to sit down at the table, eagerly preparing a massive serving of sticky rice cake and a steaming teacup of fresh milk for her.
"Pardon my intrusion."
Sakuya gave a slight, perfectly executed bow of gratitude before delicately picking up the expensive teacup and taking a small, polite sip. The incredibly rich, buttery milky aroma and fresh taste immediately made her red eyes widen in genuine shock. Gensokyo had tragically, long since been completely without any living dairy cows, let alone access to fresh, unpasteurized milk. It must have been well over a decade since she last drank actual, real milk instead of powdered substitutes.
"Um... this is exquisite," Sakuya murmured.
"Here! This big bottle is for Big Sister Remilia, this one is for Patchouli, this one is for Meiling, this one is for you, and also one for the Koakuma! I've thoughtfully prepared them all in advance! They were all meticulously filtered using my own personal silk stockings! Aren't I absolutely amazing and considerate?!"
Sakuya had originally, politely wanted to ask Leo if she could formally purchase some milk for the Mansion with gold, but Flandre directly, proudly went back inside, brought out a massive woven basket completely filled with sealed glass bottles of white milk, and aggressively shoved it into Sakuya's arms, wearing a smug expression that clearly screamed, "Look how incredibly considerate I am of everyone, praise me now!"
"Stockings?"
Sakuya Izayoi's gaze slowly shifted towards Leo, and her eyes began to visibly, dangerously change, rapidly escalating in hostility towards the labels 'absolute pervert,' 'scum of the earth,' 'vermin,' and 'disgusting lolicon.' Before her murderous intent fully reached that lethal point and time stopped, Leo hurriedly, frantically explained the filtration process, absolutely terrified lest he either end up with exactly seventeen silver stab wounds in his back in a ruled 'suicide,' or get completely, permanently exposed throughout all of Gensokyo's society by Aya Shameimaru's newspaper, leading to his absolute social and literal death.
"I see. I logically understand the sanitary emergency. Later today, I'll go back and professionally prepare some proper, sterile medical gauze to have Meiling deliver to you. As for using the Second Miss's personal silk stockings... it's absolutely best not to ever use them for food preparation in the future."
After hearing Leo's desperate, sweating explanation, Sakuya Izayoi subtly, critically scanned the legs and stockings of absolutely everyone currently present at the table, confirmed visually that Leo wasn't spinning a tall, perverted tale to cover his tracks, and sighed deeply, releasing her grip on her pocket watch.
After meticulously selecting the massive pile of fresh vegetables needed for the day's meals, Sakuya bowed and returned to the Scarlet Devil Mansion through the Gap.
Not long after, Hong Meiling, with a literal silver throwing knife still violently stuck in the top of her head as punishment for slacking off, arrived at the farm jogging and cheerfully carrying a massive basket of sterile gauze.
"Second Miss! I've come to play with you on the farm!"
Putting down the heavy basket of gauze, Hong Meiling and the excitedly running Second Miss Flandre violently hugged each other, spinning in circles. After cheerfully giving absolutely everyone in the yard a good, energetic rub on the head, Meiling then ran out of the farm gate with Flandre clinging to her back like a monkey, heading off into the woods to who-knows-where to aggressively play and cause explosions.
"Alright, the morning meal's finished. Now let's officially sit down and start discussing exactly how to swindle... ahem, formally enrich the entertainment activities and lives for Gensokyo's bored Youkai populace."
After meticulously clearing the breakfast table, Leo placed a massive, heavy woven basket of fresh eggs harvested today directly on the wood. He had been carefully, strategically thinking about this specific festival event for a while. With so many fun, pre-programmed seasonal events available in the original Stardew Valley game, they could literally just copy the mechanics. However, for the physically overpowered, flying Youkai, they absolutely needed to artificially increase the puzzle difficulty a bit to make it challenging.
"I plan to completely hard-boil all these eggs, paint them in various, incredibly bright, camouflaged colors, and maliciously hide them in various, nearly impossible-to-reach places completely around the Stardew Valley map. Then, within a strict, one-day time limit, whoever successfully finds the most hidden eggs wins the grand prize. The prize is a full, one-month premium delivery service of fresh breakfast milk."
"Hmm... let me calculate the official budget," Yukari Yakumo purred, pulling out a pen and paper. "Event venue rental fee. Let's officially count the entire Stardew Valley map usage as five hundred thousand yuan. For event materials, with so many powerful, destructive Youkai participating, we absolutely can't have too few eggs or they'll riot. Let's massively inflate and price one single painted egg at one thousand yuan, formally report two hundred eggs used, that's two hundred thousand right there. Then there's the incredibly rare, one-month fresh milk delivery service prize. Let's graciously round that value up to three hundred thousand."
"Then there's massive post-event venue restoration for the inevitable crater damage, social niceties and bribes for the judges, massive post-event catering meals... let's count that all as one million flat. Total: exactly two million yuan requested from Eirin. We should definitively be able to make a very comfortable, massive little profit for our pockets."
Yukari Yakumo roughly, shamelessly made a highly inflated, corrupt itemized list on paper and finally calculated a staggering total of two million yuan to request for Leo.
"Are you absolutely, 100% sure this massive fraud will actually work?!"
Leo looked at Yukari Yakumo with wide eyes, looking at her exactly as if she were a deeply corrupt, embezzling employee from a shady state-owned enterprise's procurement department. This absolute pile of literal junk materials and boiled eggs shouldn't physically add up to more than ten thousand yuan in the real world; how on earth did you shamelessly, mathematically come up with two million?!