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With a violent, splintering CRACK, the thick wooden floorboards finally gave way. After recovering her breath for a tense moment, Yuugi Hoshiguma forcefully pulled her trapped foot out of the ruined stage floor. She slowly turned around, gave Leo a silent, deeply respectful thumbs-up with her massive hand, and stumbled heavily off the stage stairs, collapsing instantly into her VIP wooden seat and immediately falling into a deep, thunderous, snoring sleep.
Seeing Yuugi Hoshiguma—a terrifying Heavenly King of the Oni—in that completely paralyzed state, the massive crowd of Youkai absolutely weren't scared away; instead, they became even more ferociously, intensely excited. If Gensokyo's absolute, undisputed, legendary drinking master was reduced to a snoring log by just one single, chilled bottle, how incredibly, impossibly delicious must that mystical liquid be?!
Looking greedily at the remaining few, thumb-sized plastic wine cups sitting innocently in front of Leo, the Youkai's eyes grew feral and fervent. In a split second, a massive, smoky war erupted directly beneath the wooden stage.
Absolutely everyone tacitly, instinctively agreed not to use any lethal magic or Danmaku, relying purely on raw, physical fists, flying kicks, and dirty tricks. However, most of these fragile casters simply didn't possess the terrifying, raw physical strength of someone like Hong Meiling, who could clash head-on with Yuuka Kazami in the mud. Their fighting was incredibly chaotic and uncoordinated, quickly and violently devolving into a massive, dusty street brawl composed entirely of vicious hair-pulling, scratching, and clothes-tearing.
Leo sat comfortably cross-legged on the edge of the stage, watching the brutal chaos below with great, intense interest. As a simple, modern man, there were exactly two specific things he absolutely loved watching for hours on end: one was the rhythmic, powerful operation of massive industrial machinery, which he could happily squat by a dirty roadside and watch all day long; the other was women violently fighting, especially pretty, magical girls aggressively fighting in the dirt. This chaotic spectacle was easily comparable to the hilarious sight of sows lining up to jump into a river—he could simply never, ever get enough of watching it.
"Give me two cups. One for me, and one for Suika later."
Reimu Hakurei confidently strode straight through the violent, hair-pulling brawl. The fighting Youkai instinctively parted around the Shrine Maiden like the Red Sea, not daring to accidentally strike her.
"Uh... there are literally only exactly seven tiny cups poured in total. You're forcefully taking two right now without even participating in the fight. Don't they violently mind?"
Leo pointed a finger toward the massive, dusty women's freestyle fighting ring directly behind Reimu, asking her with a distinct, heavy hint of disappointment. He was genuinely entertaining the dark, chaotic thought of egging Reimu on to dive in and join the hair-pulling mud-wrestling herself just for the sheer entertainment value.
"Baka! Do you have an opinion?!"
Reimu stopped dead, stood perfectly straight with her arms crossed aggressively over her chest, and glared daggers directly at Leo. Absolutely everything the dense guy was currently, pervertedly thinking was written completely, explicitly all over his smug face; even entirely without Satori Komeiji physically present to read his mind, she could easily tell exactly what filthy, chaotic things Leo was up to.
She violently turned her head back toward the brawl and shouted backward, her voice dripping with clear, terrifying displeasure.
"No, no, we absolutely don't mind at all!"
The massive pile of Youkai, currently deeply busy pulling each other's hair and biting ankles, clearly heard Reimu's freezing, authoritative voice. They miraculously, instantly stopped exactly what they were doing with terrifying synchronicity, muttered their absolute lack of objection in a messy, bruised chorus, and then immediately, violently resumed their screaming brawl the second she looked away.
"See? They don't mind."
Reimu looked back at Leo with an incredibly arrogant, triumphant expression, flipping her hair. Did this country bumpkin genuinely not understand the terrifying, absolute monopolistic power of the Hakurei Group in Gensokyo? As Gensokyo's absolute largest, undisputed criminal organization and enforcer, she did exactly whatever the hell she wanted. Gensokyo was completely hers to command and extort!
"Tch, fine, take them. Go drink somewhere else, though. Don't block my premium view of the fight."
Seeing that he absolutely couldn't successfully stir up trouble or get her to fight, Leo sighed in disappointment, handed the two tiny plastic cups to Reimu, and eagerly leaned back to continue watching the girls tear each other's clothes in the dirt.
"What a virtue. What's so incredibly great about watching a stupid fight?" Reimu grumbled, examining the tiny cup. "This is far, far too little. Give me another full bottle right now, and put the massive bill directly on Yukari Yakumo's tab."
She aggressively downed the chilled wine in the tiny plastic cup in one single, rapid gulp. It was pathetically too little—just barely enough to slightly wet her dry lips and throat; she genuinely didn't even get to properly taste the fruity notes before it was entirely gone. Reimu haughtily held out her small, empty hand directly in front of Leo's face, speaking with the demanding, entitled voice of the absolute Stone King Sovereign.
"No way! Yukari Yakumo already owes me so incredibly much in raw food and grocery expenses she's practically short of having to illegally sell her own body to pay me back! Her financial credit score with me is currently so incredibly low she couldn't even successfully unlock a cheap, public Shared Bicycle with it! By the way, yesterday she explicitly said to put her massive grocery bill on your Hakurei tab! You two broke scammers should really compare your lying notes first!"
Leo violently slapped Reimu's outstretched, demanding hand away with a loud smack. He absolutely wasn't afraid of Reimu's authority; she was legally only invincible and untouchable within the strict borders of the Great Hakurei Barrier, and that was just pure, localized administrative cheating. This absolutely wasn't Gensokyo. He was the World Lord, the one completely in charge of Stardew Valley's server rules. Did she really, foolishly think he wouldn't instantly ban her account and IP address in minutes if she tried to rob him?!
"Tch, 900 yuan, right? I can easily buy a bottle myself, can't I?! I still absolutely have that much financial privilege, don't I?! Just wait right here."
Failing miserably to aggressively freeload off the host, Reimu turned away haughtily, her face burning with humiliation, and walked purposefully toward the Scarlet Devil Mansion's shaded VIP area, looking exactly as if she were about to make a grand, heroic sacrifice for her country.
Just as Leo genuinely, fearfully thought Reimu was going to pull out her gohei and violently rob the vampires at gunpoint, Reimu suddenly plopped down heavily on one knee in the dirt, desperately hugged Remilia's waist with both arms, and shamelessly rubbed her face back and forth against the vampire's flat, steel-like chest like a whining cat.
"Remi~ My good, sweet Remi~ My absolute most, most cute, wealthy, and dignified Remilia~ Can you please kindly lend me some money, please? I solemnly promise to go easy on you when I inevitably beat you up during the next incident later!"
Remilia Scarlet, who was currently sitting elegantly at her own private table and chair peacefully drinking warm blood tea, was forced to awkwardly open her arms, completely unable to put down the delicate porcelain teacup in her hand without spilling it. She looked down helplessly at the completely unscrupulous, broke Shrine Maiden clinging to her waist. Was it really, truly necessary to completely throw away her dignity and act exactly like a begging stray dog just to borrow some petty cash?!
Remilia's pale face had just barely broken into a triumphant, smug smile upon hearing the flattering first half of the sentence, and she was just about to graciously turn and tell Sakuya to fetch the money bag, but when she clearly heard the arrogant second half of the request, her face immediately darkened with pure, aristocratic annoyance. What exactly did she mean "go easy on me when I beat you up"?! Was this broke Shrine Maiden really that utterly lacking in basic social face and negotiation skills?!
Extending a single, delicate finger flawlessly painted with bright red nail polish, Remilia firmly pressed it directly against Reimu's forehead and physically pushed her away from her dress. Remilia calmly put down her teacup on the saucer with a clink, rested her chin elegantly on her hands placed on the table, and looked down at the kneeling Reimu with deep, predatory interest.
"You absolutely don't need to 'borrow' this petty money from me, Reimu. If you agree to serve as my personal Maid for exactly one day, these 900 yuan will legally be your day's salary. Deal or no deal?"
Watching Reimu's expression completely, utterly freeze in absolute shock, Remilia's fangs peeked out as her lips slowly curled into a victorious, wicked smile. She reached backward without looking, and Sakuya Izayoi, with terrifying, flawless presence of mind, instantly handed the Mistress a heavy, velvet money bag completely filled with exactly 900 yuan in clinking gold coins.
"Think very carefully, Reimu." Remilia shook the bag, the heavy, metallic clinking sound hypnotizing the Shrine Maiden. "You only need to physically work for me for exactly one single day to instantly earn a full, massive 900 yuan. Absolutely only our wealthy Scarlet Devil Mansion can effortlessly afford to pay a daily wage at this exorbitant price. If you foolishly miss this chance, you absolutely won't ever get such a incredibly good financial opportunity again to pay off your debts."
Looking down at the proud Reimu kneeling helplessly in the dirt before her, Remilia gently hooked a cold finger under Reimu's chin, leaned her face closer, and her tone became increasingly dark and seductive.
"Think about it. You just need to simply put on a cute Maid Outfit, stay quietly by my side, and obediently follow my orders for one single day. I absolutely won't make any overly excessive, demeaning demands—just simple, menial things like serving my tea and pouring my water. How incredibly easy is that for 900 yuan?"
Reimu's brown eyes slowly, completely lost their cognitive luster as the heavy weight of capitalism crushed her pride. She mumbled something completely incoherent under her breath about "just one day," "900 yuan," and "very easy," and slowly, mechanically nodded her head in defeat.
"Very good. Sakuya. Immediately bring out the special clothes I specifically prepared for Reimu in advance and take her to the dressing room to change."
"Yes, Mistress."
Sakuya smoothly pulled out her glowing ID Card and firmly led Reimu—who currently seemed to have her entire common sense completely altered and overridden by a mind-control Hypnosis App—back through the Gap to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.
Once inside, Sakuya opened a massive, hidden, highly classified wooden wardrobe containing dozens upon dozens of custom-tailored Maid Outfits of vastly varying sizes, exotic styles, and colors. Incredibly, each specific set had a neat little name tag pinned to it, terrifyingly covering almost every single female Youkai currently living in Gensokyo!
This was Remilia's absolute, deeply hidden, little-known personal fetish. She had always secretly, intensely dreamed of having absolutely everyone in Gensokyo obediently serve as her personal Maid, but that grand dream of violently ruling Gensokyo was brutally shattered by Reimu's Fantasy Seal right at the very start of the Scarlet Mist incident. Thus, she could only obsessively commission Sakuya to make these Maid uniforms to desperately satisfy her visual craving in private.
But she absolutely never, ever expected that she would actually be able to miraculously fulfill a past wish completely legally today!
When the two of them finally reappeared on the Stardew Valley farm through the portal, Reimu had entirely shed her eternally unchanged (actually, she just couldn't afford to buy new clothes to change it) traditional Shrine Maiden Outfit.
She was now wearing a very short, heavily lace-trimmed, frilly Maid dress that was a vibrant red with crisp white borders to match her aesthetic. The absolutely only thing that completely hadn't changed was the massive, signature red bow used to tightly tie her hair in the back—that was functionally her true main body, and it absolutely couldn't be messed with by anyone.
"G-Goshujin-sama... do you... have any specific commands for me?"
Reimu tightly clutched the edges of her short, frilly skirt, her knees trembling slightly, her cheeks burning so violently red they looked ready to physically bleed. How exactly had she foolishly, greedily agreed to do something so incredibly, publicly shameful for Remilia Scarlet just for wine money?!
(Off-topic Author's Note: Today, the strict unit leader came down for a surprise inspection at work. My miserable salary is exactly 2500 yuan and absolutely hasn't increased a single cent in ten long years, while the physical workload gets heavier and more dangerous every single year. And it's all exactly the terrifying kind of legal responsibility where if something accidentally goes wrong on the line, you're the scapegoat on the hook—starting with a minimum of ten years in jail, absolutely no upper limit, and potentially the death penalty!
I'm completely immune to their threats now. Why on earth should I risk my actual life for a pathetic 2500 yuan a month?! They even insanely want us to personally fight chemical fires! If there's a toxic fire, we legally can't just call the police or fire department; we have to formally report it to the Squad Leader first, who then tells the person actively in charge of the burning area, who then tells the Safety Supervisor, and finally, the big leader decides whether or not to officially call 119. By the time that massive, bureaucratic loop is finished, the entire chemical plant would have burned to absolute ashes! I'm strictly just a Contract Worker, not even a regular, protected employee. I don't even get cheap holiday gifts like cooking oil. And they seriously want me to take the legal fall for their safety violations?!
This entire system is going to completely collapse sooner or later!)