Chapter 127: Winter Empress and Benares the Good Boy! Su Mu's Smile Gradually Becomes Wicked
"Hmm? What's with this little person who looks exactly like Cangxuan?"
Upon seeing Book of Fuxi (Xiao Xuan) in the game, Senti immediately typed a question mark. Usually, she couldn't stand the two sisters—one was a pure money-grubber, and the other had once offended her by "mocking" her flat chest. Seeing a mini-version of Cangxuan appearing next to her favorite Old Timer made Senti's face darken instantly!
However, an entry for the Book of Fuxi soon popped up on the interface.
[Book of Fuxi: An ELF (Equipment: Living Form). Created by combining a simulated core made of Soul Steel with a weapon, resulting in an automated combat robot. The technology originated from Dr. Einstein and was manufactured by Cangxuan and Danzhu to take care of Fu Hua's daily life.]
[Book of Fuxi is equipped with a Honkai detector, GPS, weapon systems, and software such as "King of Jokes" and "Complete Stories." Cangxuan and Danzhu created this non-combat ELF so that after their passing, someone would stay by Fu Hua's side to keep her heart warm and kind.]
"Oh, so those two made an ELF. I was wondering.... It definitely has to do with Cangxuan and Danzhu." Senti adopted a "just as I thought" look, but her expression was noticeably better than before. "Hmph, those two actually had a conscience, knowing the Old Timer would be lonely and making a little thing to keep her company..."
Although this event plot was framed as a "story" told by Fu Hua, the viewers—knowing that Fu Hua was the Immortal who once guarded Shenzhou—instinctively felt it might be more than just a simple story. It likely contained real events from her time as an Immortal. Since it was a story, there were bound to be artistic embellishments... and after seeing the characters who appeared next, everyone was temporarily unable to tell if this was Fu Hua's personal experience or truly a fable.
[A bored Xiao Xuan watched the 'Blockhead' meditating and couldn't help but complain. Even though her voice sounded like a mature woman's, her tiny limbs and comedic personality completely contradicted her voice—the ultimate gap moe?]
[When discussing going down the mountain for food, Xiao Xuan heard from the Immortal that the Nian beast, which was supposed to cause trouble every year, had been driven away seven days early. This left Xiao Xuan devastated. According to history, the commoners' New Year should begin with the Immortal driving away the Nian; by doing it early, the temple fair Xiao Xuan had waited all year for was now ruined!]
[While the Immortal seemed indifferent to Xiao Xuan's gluttony, she had to be cautious when it concerned the commoners' calendar.]
The lively Xiao Xuan and the stiff, meticulous Immortal... this classic duo was never boring. Before long, the audience was sucked into their dialogue. Driven by Xiao Xuan, the Immortal went to Taoyuan Village. While Xiao Xuan went on a shopping spree, marveling at the beauty of mortal life, the Immortal discovered omens of a monster invasion. Knowing this, Xiao Xuan unfurled a scroll and pulled out a row of weapons that completely defied the era.
["During the spring cleaning the other day, I found these 'old antiques' in that wooden crate under your bed."]
["Model MH-III light machine gun, G666 shotgun, HK-II laser launcher... FFF flamethrower—wait, this one's out of warranty."]
["In short, no matter which one you use, their destructive power is much lower than your bare fists."]
Xiao Xuan spoke solemnly. If the Immortal fought with full power here, she'd probably have to sell Xiao Xuan to a pawnshop to afford the repairs for the village she'd destroy. Senti couldn't hold back her laughter.
"I'm dying, Old Timer! 'Destructive power much lower than your bare fists'! I thought the times had changed, but we've gone back in time! Hahaha! So these weapons aren't to help you fight monsters; they're to limit you so you don't destroy everything!"
[Is the Immortal's destructive power really that strong?]
[Selling Xiao Xuan? I'll buy! I'll buy!]
[Me first! First come, first served!]
Xiao Xuan's teasing made the netizens compete for her. Who wouldn't want a cute and funny ELF who could pull high-tech weapons out of a scroll? That's cool as hell! Honestly, this background has to be an adaptation of Fu Hua's real life, right? Those weapons are clearly from the Previous Era and kept in her room! But imagining the Immortal wielding "Six Pure Gatling Barrels" at 3,600 rounds per breath made the viewers laugh even louder. The contrast was explosive!
After the plot segment, Senti entered the gameplay. She found that the Immortal turned into a very cute chibi character, wielding a gun to "pew-pew-pew"... a 3D top-down shooter to punish the invading beasts. The chibis were exquisitely made. Seeing the "Old Timer" have such a cute side left Senti stunned.
"Wow, Old Timer, Su Mu is too good to you. This chibi model is so cute I'm actually jealous!" Thinking of Su Mu's promise to add her to the game, Senti felt an itch in her heart. When would it be her turn? She couldn't wait!
After clearing the beasts, the Immortal and Xiao Xuan met the "Vodka Girls," Rozaliya and Liliya. Senti scratched her head—these two just appeared in the main story, and the timeline didn't match... So it really was an event story unrelated to the main plot? Whatever! As long as it's fun!
Rozaliya and Liliya lived in "Sakura Inn," and the owner was a pink-haired woman with fox ears wearing a qipao.... Wasn't that Yae Sakura? During their talk, another figure emerged from behind the counter. It was Seele.
Seele wore a qipao primarily in white, with blue and purple accents. Unlike her usual cute style, this gave her the air of a classical beauty—an elegant, refined girl who seemed oblivious to the world. The keyhole design revealed a hint of skin, and the tight qipao accentuated a beautiful waistline. Her shoulders and back were fair and smooth. Under the qipao's silhouette, Seele looked taller and absolutely mesmerizing.
[AWSL! (I'm dying!)]
[Seele and Sakura's qipaos are too beautiful! Su Mu, if you release these as skins, just name your price! I'll top up now!]
Later, as Seele's personality switched, her qipao turned red and black, and her aura transformed into something seductive, beautiful, and dangerous! Unlike White Seele's purple flowers, Black Seele was surrounded by vivid red spider lilies! This design suited her personality perfectly!
[Holy crap, Black Seele is so cool! I want to be her dog!]
[Hey, hey, too much! You were Mei's dog, then the Queen's dog, and now you want Seele too?!]
In terms of costume design, miHoYo truly had the players by the throat. Many F2P players would rather skip a Monthly Card just to buy a beautiful skin for their favorite character.
In the game, Sakura invited them to stay as a thank you. They then met a white-haired loli with hair buns wearing a qipao....
"Pfft! Isn't that Auntie Theresa?!" Kiana, watching the screen, burst out laughing. "Hahahaha!! Auntie is so old, yet she's dressed like a temple kid! That's hilarious! A qipao is supposed to be slimming, but on her, it does nothing at all!"
Su Mu looked at the laughing Kiana helplessly. Hey, saying that about Theresa behind her back... aren't you afraid of being crushed by Judah?
Theresa appeared to ask them to save her older sister, who had been snatched by a White Dragon. She told them that without her sister, their woodcutter "Grandpa" would have no one to care for him.
[Pfft, so the Overseer is a woodcutter in the event?]
[A woodcutter? Like the story of the gold and silver axes?]
[If Otto encountered that, he'd probably trick the spirit into giving him both axes.]
[Truly the most lore-accurate episode?]
As the game progressed, the viewers finally relaxed. The whimsical plot was full of wit and humor, combined with the chibi shooter gameplay... it seemed the Old Thief hadn't poisoned them this time. He was finally being a human. The atmosphere in the stream became joyful.
The next day, Xiao Xuan and the Immortal met Theresa at the White Dragon River. The Vodka Girls followed along to help. When asked what kind of person her sister was, Theresa replied:
["Mhm, my sister is gentle, virtuous, and kind. She does all the housework and helps anyone in need."]
["She helps Old Man Wa fix dolls, helps Master Gray sweep leaves, and helps Auntie Ke carry groceries back to the orphanage...."]
Old Man Wa? Master Gray? Auntie Ke! "Pfft! Isn't that Welt, Gray Snake, and Cocolia? Too many references! Hahaha!" Senti recognized them instantly. The writer was doing this on purpose!
Theresa told them her sister went with the dragon voluntarily because the village elders said a once-in-a-thousand-years disaster was coming, and the only solution was to sacrifice a chaste maiden to the river! Next, the Vodka Girls turned into "Dragon Callers" and actually summoned the dragon. Liliya could understand the dragon and translated its words with a troubled expression. Theresa recognized the dragon as the one who took her sister, and a battle began.
["Xiao Xuan, don't be reckless. Remember the Dragon-Slaying Arts I taught you."]
["No problem! Mao Top, Yong Mid, Newton Bottom!"] (A reference to stigmata meta). ["Not that one...."]
["Eh? No? See-through blade, dragon-piercing tail-cut.... No, wait, whatever! Charge!"]
After a fight, the dragon was defeated, wailing piteously on the ground. According to Liliya's translation, the dragon was... a fellow from the Northeast? (T/N: Northeast Chinese dialect).
["It says: 'Big sister, let's talk this out, quit waving your fists around.'"]
["It says: 'Little sis, don't misunderstand me, your big sister went willingly.'"]
["It says: 'Standing here won't clear things up, let's just go see her'...."]
This scene had Senti roaring with laughter. "Old Timer, this dragon is too much! That accent! Too funny!" The viewers hadn't expected such a nonsensical, meme-filled plot. It completely allowed their previously tensed hearts to relax!
[Seeing things go south, the dragon used an illusion and flew ten kilometers away with Theresa.]
[However, facing the fleeing dragon, the Immortal used a secret art—the Serious Punch!]
[One punch knocked the dragon silly, and it plummeted from the sky!]
Watching one hilarious scene after another, the viewers were losing their breath from laughing.
[Did the Old Thief actually change his nature?]
[Holy crap, I give this event a 9/10. I'd give a 10 but I don't want him to get cocky!]
[Isn't this great? Why focus on tragedies? Everyone laughing and being happy is so much better!]
[See! Su Mu can write normal stuff! I thought he had a miserable childhood; why else would he write so much angst?]
This event made many players change their view of the "Old Thief." Some even "opened the champagne" early, believing Su Mu was finally going to build a happy and beautiful Honkai world...
[At the end of the first chapter, they finally met Theresa's sister.]
[The figure bathing in the water was as cold as eternal ice, with flowing white hair and golden eyes.... Her beauty was like that of a supreme Empress.]
[The Winter Empress fought the Immortal and the others to a draw.]
["You useless Benares. You couldn't even handle a simple task and led humans here. Prepare for the whip tonight!"]
[The White Dragon wailed. Liliya translated: it's calling for help.]
[When Theresa woke up, she reunited with her sister—but seeing the cold and proud Winter Empress, Xiao Xuan was stunned. Is this really the gentle and kind girl Theresa described?]
The Herrscher of the Void as a gentle, kind sister?? The viewers lost it. Hey, hey, hey, she's a dangerous existence in the main story! How is she 'gentle'!
[But... but I have to say, the Empress's side profile is too beautiful!]
[One look and I'm falling in love!]
[The Queen's design is too good! Even though they look like Kiana, the Queen and Kiana have completely different vibes!]
[All hail the Queen!! Number one in the world!!]
Players were once again being controlled by their "lower brain." Remember, when your lower brain controls you, it is your upper brain!
In the game, after the sisters reunited, Liliya continued translating the dragon's words. It turned out to be a tragic story that would make any man go silent and any woman weep! Benares, through Liliya, began venting his grievances in a thick Northeast accent.
["If I'd known, I never would've taken this girl. I thought she looked soft and weak, so I snatched her to finish my job. Who knew she'd pull out a bunch of willow branches from nowhere and start whipping me!"]
["I'm a thousand-foot White Dragon! I won't be insulted by a human like this!!"]
["I wanted to shout that at her, but your big sister whipped me so hard I ended up letting her ride on my neck without realizing it."]
Poor Benares. According to his family "tradition," a dragon reaching a certain age had to kidnap a beautiful woman to be a real dragon. He planned to return the Empress secretly later, but she went from "weak" to dragon-riding in seconds, turning a majestic White Dragon into a guard dog! He had no face left! The Winter Empress had whipped him into "Benares the Good Boy"!
This is dragon abuse!!
Looking at the complaining Benares, Senti's chat was filled with "LMAO." The atmosphere was pure joy.
"Hahaha! Su Mu, you brat, you really can write! That dragon must be Benares, right? So pitiful! Turned into a guard dog named Good Boy, hahahaha—"
Kiana was clutching her stomach, rolling on the floor. This was too funny.
[Eventually, the misunderstanding was cleared. The Empress didn't return to the village, but she promised Theresa she could come visit and ride Benares whenever she wanted.]
[Though not too often, since she has 'picture books' to read... ahem.]
[After getting some shed scales from Benares, the Immortal and Xiao Xuan made a huge step in collecting materials for the Nian beast.]
"I heard Bronya complaining that you only write tragedies, but it seems that isn't entirely true," Kiana looked at Su Mu, only to find him not laughing. He was looking at her with a very subtle expression. "Su Mu, why aren't you laughing? Mhm... is it because you wrote it, so you've seen it already and don't find it funny?"
Facing Kiana's question, Su Mu coughed. "No, seeing you all so happy makes me happy too."
"Is that so? That's better." Kiana nodded, satisfied.
As Kiana turned back to the game, Su Mu turned away, his mouth twitching as he tried to suppress a massive grin. No, stay calm. I have to hold it in.
The event was indeed good, and seeing everyone enjoy it was great. But his happiness was... different. Su Mu knew exactly how hard the players would cry once the rest of the plot was served.
My sins, my sins. Su Mu finally understood the mindset of the original writers. Seeing players suffer under your hand brought an incredible sense of accomplishment. It was intoxicating!
Laugh while you can. After all, magic and miracles aren't free. All gifts of fate come with a hidden price. Laughter doesn't disappear; it only transfers. Soon, it will be the Old Thief's turn to laugh.
END OF CHAPTER
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