A/N-THIS IS THE NIGHT BEFORE FREY AND THE GIRLS TALK WITH JAY THIS IS AFTER THE AWARDS
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CHAPTER 38 — THE FIRST REAL TALK
The awards ceremony had ended almost half an hour ago.
Most guests had already left, but the lobby of the hotel where the event was held was still full of people talking, laughing, taking photos, discussing business deals.
Jae stood near the side corridor, finally away from the crowd.
Her heels were in her hand.
The red dress still perfect, but her shoulders looked tired now.
She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes for a second.
Her phone buzzed.
Min-jae.
She picked up.
"Did you reach the car?"
His voice was still weak, but softer than before.
"Not yet. Still inside."
"You should go home. You didn't sleep."
She smiled faintly.
"You sound like Ci-n."
"You sound like you're about to collapse."
She laughed quietly.
"I won three awards, let me live."
He chuckled.
"…I'm proud of you."
Her expression softened.
For a second she forgot everything.
"Sleep," she said.
"You too."
Call ended.
She stayed there a moment longer.
Quiet.
Empty corridor.
Then—
Footsteps.
Slow.
Familiar.
She opened her eyes.
Didn't turn immediately.
She already knew.
Keifer stopped a few steps behind her.
He looked different up close.
Older.
More tired.
Less sharp than before.
For a moment he didn't say anything.
Then—
He looked at her back.
Red dress.
Loose hair.
Same person.
Different world.
He finally said quietly,
"…Jay."
She froze.
Just for a second.
Her fingers tightened around the trophy.
But she didn't turn.
Her voice came out calm.
Cold.
"…You have the wrong person."
He frowned.
"…Don't do that."
She turned slowly.
Her face completely neutral.
Eyes unreadable.
"Do I know you?"
For the first time that night,
Keifer looked shaken.
Not angry.
Not sarcastic.
Just… hurt.
"You really going to pretend?"
She held his gaze.
Didn't blink.
"Yes."
Silence.
Behind them, voices coming closer.
Crew.
Staff.
People.
She stepped back.
"…You always walk away first."
She turned slowly.
Her face calm.
Controlled.
Like nothing touched her anymore.
"You shouldn't be here."
He let out a breath.
"That's not what I expected after eleven years."
She crossed her arms.
"What did you expect? A hug?"
Silence.
He shook his head slightly.
"No… I expected you to at least look at me."
Her eyes hardened.
"I looked at you enough back then."
That hit.
He swallowed.
"…You're still angry."
She laughed once.
Not funny.
"Angry?"
She stepped closer.
"You think this is anger?"
He didn't move.
Didn't step back.
Just watched her.
Her voice got lower.
"You broke my life, Keifer."
Silence filled the hallway.
His jaw tightened.
"I know."
She froze for a second.
She didn't expect that answer.
"…What?"
He looked down, then back at her.
"I said I know."
No excuses.
No jokes.
No attitude.
Just tired.
She looked at him carefully now.
Like she was seeing him for the first time too.
"You planned everything."
"Yes."
"You made me fall in love with you."
"Yes."
"You humiliated me in front of everyone."
His hand tightened.
"…Yes."
Her eyes got wet for a second, but she blinked it away immediately.
"And now you just say yes?"
His voice was quieter than she had ever heard it.
"What do you want me to say?"
She didn't answer.
He took one step closer.
Not too close.
Just enough.
"I spent eleven years wishing I could take that day back."
Her breath stopped for a moment.
She hated that her heart reacted.
Hated it.
"You should have thought before."
"I know."
"You ruined everything."
"I know."
She looked away.
That was worse.
If he argued, she could hate him.
If he laughed, she could walk away.
But this—
This was harder.
He spoke again.
"You look… happy now."
She didn't turn.
"I am."
"With him?"
Her fingers tightened.
"That's none of your business."
He nodded slowly.
"…He was on the phone, right?"
She looked at him again.
Cold.
"Yes."
Silence again.
Then he said quietly,
"You never smiled like that with me."
Her heart skipped.
She hated that he noticed.
"That's because I was stupid back then."
That one hurt.
He nodded.
"…Yeah."
More footsteps somewhere far in the lobby.
Voices getting closer.
She stepped back.
"We shouldn't talk here."
He looked at her.
"So when?"
She hesitated.
Just for a second.
Then said quietly,
"…Not here."
He waited.
She sighed.
"If we talk again… it's not about the past only."
His eyes softened a little.
"I know."
She turned.
Started walking toward the exit.
Then stopped.
Without looking back—
"Don't follow me."
He almost smiled.
"…Okay."
She walked away.
But this time—
he didn't feel like she was gone forever.
And for the first time in eleven years,
Jay didn't feel like running,
Because she was just too tired….
The car ride back was silent.
No music.
No talking.
Just the sound of the engine and the city lights passing outside the window.
Jae sat in the back seat, still wearing the red dress, the three trophies beside her.
Anyone looking at her would think she had the best night of her life.
Three awards.
Standing ovation.
Everyone praising her.
But her hands were shaking.
She kept staring at her phone.
Screen dark.
Then on.
Then dark again.
Ci-n noticed from the front seat.
"You okay?"
She nodded immediately.
"Yeah."
He didn't believe it.
David looked back too, but didn't say anything.
They reached the hotel.
The moment the car stopped, Jae opened the door before the driver could.
"I'll go up first."
Ci-n frowned.
"You should eat something."
"I'm tired."
She didn't wait for an answer.
She walked inside fast.
Too fast.
The lobby lights felt too bright.
Too loud.
Too much.
Her heels echoed on the floor.
She pressed the elevator button again and again even though it was already coming.
Her breathing got heavier.
Not again.
Not now.
Not here.
The elevator opened.
She stepped in.
Alone.
Doors closed.
The moment they shut—
her hands started shaking harder.
Her chest felt tight.
Her throat burned.
"…Not now…"
She leaned against the wall.
Tried to breathe.
Didn't work.
Keifer's voice kept playing in her head.
You broke my life.
I know.
I spent eleven years wishing I could take that day back.
Her vision blurred.
The elevator dinged.
Her floor.
She walked out fast.
Almost running.
Her keycard fell once while opening the door.
Her fingers wouldn't work.
Finally—
click.
Door opened.
She went inside.
Closed it.
Locked it.
And the moment she turned—
her knees gave out.
She dropped to the floor.
The trophies slid from her hand and hit the carpet softly.
Her breathing broke completely.
"No… no… no…"
Her hands covered her face.
Tears came out all at once.
Not quiet.
Not small.
Real sobbing.
The kind she hadn't let herself do in years.
She grabbed her phone blindly.
Opened contacts.
Pressed the first name she always pressed when she couldn't breathe.
Min-jae.
The call rang.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
He picked up.
"…Jaerin?"
She couldn't speak.
Only crying.
Loud.
Broken.
He sat up immediately on the other side.
"Jaerin? What happened?"
She tried to talk.
Nothing came out except a sob.
"I— I—"
Her voice cracked completely.
"I can't— I can't—"
His voice changed instantly.
Serious.
Soft.
"Hey. Hey. Breathe first."
She shook her head even though he couldn't see.
"I saw him…"
Silence.
He knew.
"…Keifer?"
She started crying harder.
"I talked to him… I talked to him… why did I talk to him…"
"Hey, hey, slow down."
"I was fine… I was fine… I was okay… why does it still hurt…"
Her words were breaking between sobs.
"I hate this… I hate this… I hate that it still hurts…"
Min-jae closed his eyes.
His hand tightened on the phone.
He hated hearing her like this.
More than anything.
"Jaerin. Listen to me."
She kept crying.
"I thought I moved on… I thought I did… I thought I didn't care…"
"You did move on."
"No I didn't—"
"You did."
Her breathing shook.
"He said he regrets it… he said he knows… he said he wanted to take it back…"
Her voice broke again.
"…Why does that make it worse…"
Min-jae swallowed hard.
Because he understood.
Too well.
"Because you loved him."
She froze for a second.
Then cried harder.
"I was stupid… I was so stupid… I gave him everything… and he destroyed me in one day… one day…"
Her hand hit the floor weakly.
"I couldn't sleep for years… I couldn't breathe… I needed pills… I almost died… and he just— he just—"
Her voice disappeared into sobbing again.
On the other side, Min-jae's eyes got wet too, but his voice stayed calm.
"I know."
"I don't want to feel like this again…"
"You won't."
"What if I do…"
"You won't."
She shook her head.
"You don't know that…"
He spoke very quietly.
"I do."
Silence.
Only her crying now.
Softer.
Tired.
Broken.
He lowered his voice even more.
"Where are you?"
"In the room…"
"On the bed?"
She shook her head.
"…Floor."
He sighed.
"Go to the bed."
"I can't…"
"You can."
She didn't move.
He spoke again, firmer.
"Jaerin."
She forced herself up slowly.
Sat on the bed.
Still crying.
"There."
"Lie down."
She did.
Phone pressed to her ear.
Like always.
Like the last five years.
"I'm here," he said.
Her breathing slowly started slowing.
"I hate that he can still do this to me…"
"He can't."
"He did…"
"No. Your memories did."
She was quiet.
Tears still falling.
He continued softly,
"You survived him."
Silence.
"You survived depression."
Silence.
"You survived cancer."
Her lips trembled again.
"You survived nights when you couldn't sleep without pills."
Tears rolled down her temples.
"You survived everything."
His voice got even softer.
"So one conversation won't break you."
She whispered,
"…Stay on the call."
"I'm not going anywhere."
Minutes passed.
No talking.
Only her breathing getting slower.
Then she whispered,
"…Min-jae."
"Hmm?"
"…Thank you."
He smiled faintly.
"Sleep."
"…Will you stay?"
"Yes."
"…Until I sleep?"
"Yes."
She closed her eyes.
Tears still on her cheeks.
But her breathing finally even.
The phone still against her ear.
His voice low.
Soft.
"I'm here."
A few minutes later—
she was asleep.
For real.
No pills.
No nightmares.
Just sleep.
And on the other side of the call,
Min-jae stayed awake,
listening to her breathing,
like he always did,
every night she couldn't hold herself together.